iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

You can't outcoach nick sirianni in a bad decision making competition. You could decide to punt every second down and you'd still look like don shula

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Outlanders....they come here, how do they find me? They come here, they mess up my store [vaguely italian grunt]

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

What a coincidence. My mother was also named Hulkenberg

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Uh....sure.....Hulkenberg...I also have a question

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Once when I was a kid on "devils night", the night before Halloween, our light up plastic ghost on the porch was stolen and I was very sad about it. But then the next year on devils night the mystery thief returned it and changed the lightbulb to blood red, so it was like he was on sabbatical.

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I let Jesus take the wheel and the cops pulled us over and are beating the everloving shit out of him. He doesn't even have a licence and I never thought to ask.

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Remember that one Jedi in attack of the clones that leapt into count dookus luxury suite at the big bug stadium and jango fett just shoots him with a gun. What was up with that

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Some might think it's a coincidence that the Bills committed five turnovers when they debuted their nickel jerseys. But that would be naive. "The pranksters of football" is another name for the Buffalo Bills.

Unless of course the bills allow them to march 70 yards in like 20 seconds. Seen that before

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Unfortunately, this means those 2000s era ass nickel city jerseys are here to stay

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Bills have like 100 yards of penalties nearly 6 turnovers and they're gonna win.

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Unreasonably pumped to see the big reveal. I've seen him pull off miracles with every psychopathic WR they threw at him, he definitely engineered automated processes with working switches.

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

It's funny these guys now hate northernlion, the most talented normal guy in town

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Ah, Rousseau. The thinking man's footballer. When he's not sacking the shit out of quarterbacks he's contemplating the desire for common good in the political forum

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I think the Buffalo Bills are neat.

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Fresh unsold whoppers dumped into the incinerator under armed guard. A mother serves a "we have McDonald's at home" style burger made with expired wonderbread to a starving, adult man in a damp barn. Tom Joad stares into the fire. Are there even In-N-Outs in California anymore

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

They should make a smartphone you can eat

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

I think my phone should prompt me to open my mouth so all the data of the day's events can transfer directly into my body via a repellant mechanical hum and blinding light. And then it should install brickbreaker under my eyelids.

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Why don't you dress up like an idiot and we throw tomatoes while you try to juggle bowling pins. You can eat peanuts off the floor, and that's more money in your incredibly deep pockets for handkerchief tricks

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

*arriving home to my shared studio apartment after a long day of clowning, reaches for my keys and pulls out a horn, a prop gun, a poodle, seven ace of spades, another clown, a bunch of balloons tied to a single string,*

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

*Dolly Parton writing her 4th letter with a big fluffy butterfly pen* DEAR MR. IM TOO GOOD TO CALL OR WRITE MY FANS

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

I've been to Dollywood and rode her magnificent runaway train amusement. She will be missed

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Was feeling fucked up and miserable all day and couldn't pinpoint a reason but it makes a lot of sense now, opening my phone and scrolling through about a billion posts of Jolene

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

It's easy for me to say this now instead of in 2006 because I sincerely couldn't envision the world becoming addicted to shooting itself in the dick

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Oddly enough the jarringly unrealistic part of Children of Men isn't the magical universal infertility, it's England remaining the last nation standing thanks to prudent planning and organising.

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Sad news out of London today. Another 2,340 locals sent to the hospital after running full speed into a brick wall down at Kings Cross

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Sorry mum we're eminent domaining your property. This is where hagrid masturbated before going to the goblin bank

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Impaling an ancient bronze age tablet recounting the heroic founding of a village so that the fictional site where dobby dug a hole in the ground to better fuck his precious cumsock can remain unmolested in the imagination of every British child aged 8 to 80

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

His feet are light and nimble. He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, the judge. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die

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I've been patiently waiting for that video to drop of the Costco guy saying a racial slur and getting into a brawl at 2 in the morning outside of a bar. Can't be long now he was just at a Yankees game

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Ah, a Google search, but without your precious Google how would you get any work done. Oho a reference book you say. Fool that you are, what progress would be made if all your precious books disappeared forever. A shovel and hammer. Ah, but you failed to consider if by some magic-

Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

This is what they took from us

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

RIP Big Pussy. He may not have been strong enough to face 30 years in the slammer for slinging heroin but I loved him anyways. We all did

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

I like the idea of returning astronauts feeling they're too good for planet earth now. Sighing after getting off a 12 hour flight complaining "that's all?". Pissing everybody off at a BBQ for refusing to look through a telescope because it's not the same, you wouldn't understand

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

The way chester cheetah brazenly revels in his grime and filth is repellant to the senses. Only a beast could do what he does. Those are probably meta glasses

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

If anybody comes to see me, tell them they just missed me by a minute

They should've had the surviving members of the sopranos roll out for a ticker tape parade

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I'm fine if one of these guys wants to throw a punch or two. Gonna need a pot of coffee in a minute if this game keeps playing out like it has

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They rejected my halftime show idea where they place a pizza at the centre line and set up some rats at the goal and race them to crown a new pizza rat. They said it was too dated which at first I grudgingly understood but then I saw what they went with and now I’m mad

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Half of the electric mayhem didn’t show up for this halftime show in protest of FIFA corruption. Dr. Teeth in particular cited the brutal sanctioning limiting Iran.

All of the wonders of the sea, will be served up hot to me - a song you'd think could come from the Odyssey, but belongs in the GOAT show

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

I looked it up after the movie and was like holy shit Bill Irwin. That's Mr. Noodle chomping on heads like they're carrots

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Folks it doesn't get much better than this

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Watching Charlize Theron as Calypso had me thinking "you know what movie she was outstanding in: mad max fury road". And so I just watched mad max fury road again, which is probably the greatest movie I've ever seen premiere in theatres.

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Spillane @spillanetp.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

I'm a big Christopher Nolan disliker too but this one was tight. Don't worry though he still executed his trademark "soundtrack is louder than a construction site" deafening editing and blasted seizure inducing flashes of light into your skull. But it kinda meshed in a film about suffering