iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Sparker ✨

clyde bruckman's skeleton's final repost @ultralaser.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

at last, a platform we can believe in

Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

Me at age 10: it’s not FAIR that I have to go to bed when it’s STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE Me now: is 7:41pm too early for bed…?

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Me sitting at a desk 12 hours a day, eating cake for breakfast: Why do I feel so out of shape

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

“Does he not understand how the senate works here?” “It’s unclear if he doesn’t understand or just doesn’t care.” Objectively an insane thing to casually say about the president on the news. Every once in a while I’m still able to marvel at the madness that has become our reality.

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 15/06/2026

My cheese drawer is empty. I have failed as an adult.

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

One of my high school friends is passed out on my couch snoring under a blanket one of my book club girlies knit for me and I love friendship so much what a beautiful unbroken line of love and care

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 01/06/2026

Feeling energized and in a great mood time to ruin it by listening to the news!!!

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 30/05/2026

The power went out in the airport as I was going through security and I got to live the Mitch Hedberg escalator joke with the added comedy of the sound of everyone’s enormous suitcases bouncing as they tried to carry them down awkward metal stairs

“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs, Sorry for the convenience.”

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Reposted by Sparker ✨

Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 30/05/2026

that fact that they make “elizabethan collars” for dogs, and real elizabethan collars are called “ruff collars” and no one has made a dog elizabethan collar that looks like a classic elizabethan ruff collar is such a huge missed opportunity. the design, name, and marketing is right there my guys

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 30/05/2026

Look it is hard to find a straight man who can dress himself and I am not doing it for them you are a grown ass man make an effort for your partner!!

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

“How was the AI session??” “A waste of my time and the earth’s resources!!”

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 21/05/2026

“I hope you like the movie Gladiator” is not the context you expect to hear before going to the spa

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

Logging onto Polymarket to wager when the first death will happen

Screenshot of announcement that Dunkin’ Donuts is now launching its viral 48oz drink bucket nationwide that can be refilled with iced coffee, iced lattes, and Refreshers

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 13/05/2026

I once again stayed too late at cookbook club YOLO for your 40s

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Reposted by Sparker ✨

Welcome to Night Vale @nightvaleradio.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

Dance like everybody is watching.

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

Me to the enormous kitten: I’m not fat-shaming you I’m celebrating your chonk

Gods most enormous kitten stretched out upside down on the couch

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

FMK the Americans in The Mummy

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

Not me laying on the couch right now, ignoring all of my responsibilities

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Not charging my phone overnight just to feel something

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

I love telling a joke to a Gen Z colleague and they respond with “that’s so funny” in a tone that lets me know I’m slowly fading into obscurity

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

Sitting at my desk gently dissociating as I listen to a YouTube video of bald eagle calls

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

Me before book club: I’ll just have one glass of wine I have a long day tomorrow Me at the bar at 1am: That’s THE THING — the romance GROUNDED the originally serialized story and gave it a through-line but ultimately DIDN’T center the man !!!

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Reposted by Sparker ✨

James Vincent @jjvincent.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

incredible photos of a walrus falling off a pontoon in scotland. source www.facebook.com/groups/scotl...

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

Writing MyFitnessPal an angry email because I can’t quantify the grams of protein in the gnats I just inhaled on my run

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Me at a party: “So I went to the strip club dressed as a mycelium network.” Two random youths: …you’re weird I love it can I follow you on instagram?

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

How am I supposed to “dress to impress” for this party when my cloak and gorilla suit are at the office

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

“But Sparker, these men EARNED this money shouldn’t it be THEIRS??” Look if they are good boys they can have an allowance

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

Instead of incels getting assigned girlfriends any man with investments above $1mil should be assigned a Findom

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

“That’s a ratty looking raptor.” “It does look like it needs a vacation.”

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

The phrase “average level birder” sounds unsettlingly like “average level murder”

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

Incredible to be a single woman at midlife when you realize how shitty most of your friends marriages are. You were never the sad person society tried to brand you as. My life rules, actually.

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 16/04/2026

The feminine urge to throw baloney on every cyber truck you see

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

Surprised this got deleted instead of him doubling down and announcing America's AMAZING new health care plan!!!

Extremely normal image of the president, definitely not as Jesus but as a doctor because doctors are always famously wearing red shrouds on their shoulders and healing people with light coming out of their hands and also being prayed to *EAGLE SCREAM*

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

Fitness instructor: Make sure you eat something healthy after this! Me, beelining to the kitchen and opening a bag of tortilla chips: pimento cheese has protein right

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

Americans will use literally anything other than the metric system

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Reposted by Sparker ✨

RM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake

By A Horse

Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food.

I am thinking I would like to try cake.

Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape.

Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy.

Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much.

I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on."

Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 27/03/2026

You know you’re living your life right when people are trying to hitch a ride on your party bus to Medieval Times

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 23/03/2026

This salad I had for lunch should repair the two weeks of damage done by living like an absolute animal during SXSW

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 22/03/2026

This is just to say I have completed the task I have been avoiding for months that only took me fifteen minutes forgive me avoidance is delicious so sweet to never learn

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 22/03/2026

Bribing myself with Easter candy to do my taxes. I am 40 years old.

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

To me the funniest possible thing a man can do with a midlife crisis is get married. Like “oh no I’m alone and in my feels about it, better legally make this someone else’s problem” yeah bud that’ll fix all of the issues you refuse to examine within yourself

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

Life is such a rich tapestry. I hope to weave a good portion of it.

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Sparker ✨ @sparkerpants.bsky.social · 16/03/2026

Sitting in the back of the session crying about elephants it’s SXSW baby!!

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Reposted by Sparker ✨

Tyler McBrien @tylermcbrien.com · 10/03/2026

The Singularity is upon us: Apple's AI summarized a text message that read "I'm still down to clown if you are" to.... "clown event still possible."

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