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shaeshaeshae

@spaceparanoids.bsky.social
25 followers 0 following 250 posts

thought receptacle 22y grapefruit

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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 21h
random thought: i feel like u can draw a straight line from the intro skits in episodes of MST3K to channel awesome guys having lore inbetween their reviews
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
its still the worst fucking feeling in the world to see someone in a dream and then to wake up from it. like to the point id really prefer sleep paralysis or 10 hour torture nightmares than to hear an invented scenario of someone tell me its gonna be ok. awful.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
it takes a lot in me to not start beefing w random guys on my main
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
dating apps r the worst bc you'll have conversations exclusively like "what kind of music do you like?" "idk i like everything lol" "well whats something youve been listening to lol" "idk i like everything lol" and it takes a week
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
neurospicy is an ick word for me bc ive been infantilized my whole life for being autistic and now that im an adult all these ppl wanna do is do it to themselves. like u dont have to do that yk. sometimes its ok to not woobify ts if you genuinely struggle with it
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
looked at old pictures of myself last night and like. i dont think i like how i look.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
i think at the same time that feelimg also started seeping into the dream also. it just began to feel like "why did you think it would be ok?" and i just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. i dont remember anything that happened, just the feelings of it all.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
i dreamt about her tonight. she said to me everything was ok but i knew it was wrong. it felt like a mean spirited lie. i've really begun to hate dreams where i meet people who i dont talk to anymore. its cruel. idk.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
why do AI generated temu brand lofi hiphop accounts keep following me. i thought we left lofi hip hop behind when the pandemic started.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
it used to be that u could make gross evil cartoons and there'd be some 55y/o out of touch executive would sign off on making the worst cartoon of all time and it was good
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
fucking pissed off i have swimmers ear and cant fucking sleep
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
he gets to go and have fun and take excursions and im stuck here forever and it takes people a week to notice im not around. i am fundamentally a child still. fuck this
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
pisses me the fuck off how my brother feels entitled to fuck me ovee and leave the house multiple nights in a row when i cannot even make it to doctors appointments without begging ppl to drive me
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i wish it was ok man. i dont wanna live i just want her to be ok.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
ive never been made to feel valued unless im performing a series of tricks or providing a service
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
ive thought so often abt just cashapping her whatever money i have left and jumping
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i think if i was just able to know in some omnipotent way that if i died it would improve her life id do it
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i cant stand when people tell me theyd miss me if i died bc they dont miss me enough to ever actually talk to me
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i wish i was drunk rn but mom is making me babysit my disabled dad while she cheats on him over discord. supposedly there are people who will miss me if i jump off a bridge
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
this could apply to so many people ive run into online but this is about nobody in particular. just a thing ive seen that irks me
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
lowk in my opinion if you can track an artist's hyperfixations* through their art or whatever over time i kind of think less of them as a creative. esp when it amounts to no meaningful growth outside of a new OC for the week * - the incorrect way everyone online likes using that word
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
pissed off bc i accidentally erased my mario world save bc for some fuckass reason all stars + world's file select screen has the A button delete saves.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
sleeping in lowk baller. i like sleeping in its my favorite thing rn
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
normalboots guys jn the early 2010s would have u thinking shit like joe and mac are on the same level as mario
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
day 4. nobody's noticed still. starting to think they won't at all tbh
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
dating app profiles "my love language is touch so i WILL MOLEST YOU 🥰 420 friendly| 🏛 moderate | "
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
day 3. nobody has noticed. am i really that much of a non presence in everyone's life. fucking hell. theyll all piss themselves if they cant get some unfunny whiny fucking tool in vc but have not thought to do ask how im doing after radio silence.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
expecting to raise a genius is like, genuinely one of the worst things i think u can do as a parent, especially when you have no ability to do anything yourself. thats genuinely how you breed resentment. my parents did this to me because they couldnt pull their heads out of their asses abt grades
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
"our child is going to grow up to resent us and go no contact" is what it sounds like
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
"my kid is gonna know three languages AND ASL" yeah and you and your girlfriend only know one language between the both of you. how do expect to do that . dickhead.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i never got to be an actual teenager bc my parents would never let me out of the house. the most rebellious shit id do is sneak time on my 3ds. i was 16 at that point. christ its no wonder im so surpressed still
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
the fact that both my gen X parents are still upset abt kurt cobain but never understood why someone would commit suicide, and belittle the act entirely is like, fuckin stupid. "its the coward's way out" only morons who've never struggled believe this.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i hope shes ok. i hope i can do good by her to leave forever
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
genuinely i see no point in living anymore. any good ive ever done is offset by the fact that im such a nuisance at the best of times. ill never be healthy and ill never be able to live with myself
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
im so good at distracting myself that sometimes i forget that i hate being alive and i can just exist as a point of view watching a youtube video or something for a bit
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
brad neely is right. i wanna die while hugging
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
the move for 2027 might be xanax
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
should i just start shit with people bc im bored. does any of it matter anymore. i mean like, i already ruined everything, why not atp.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
taking bets on my hrt appointment next week. is my doctor gonna give me a higher dose? am i gonna start buying DIY? who knows!!!
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
go on 4chan and its all sissy nazi AGP femboys calling each other the n word go on reddit its all annoying skirt go spinny woke 1.0 cops who r trying to hit on each other with no discretion go on tumblr its theyfabs who hate trans women but wokely
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
nobody's noticed i havent talked to them in 2 days
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i find the thought of dying extremely comfortable atp because i wont be around to fuck things up anymore. ppl r just better without me i think
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
im never going to be a better person
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
mom on some shit like "YOU WILL NEED A NEW SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND YOUR OLD DIPLOMA WILL BE VOID IF YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME!!!!!" like fuck off lmao batshit moron. im only getting ts done so when im dead nobody can deadname me
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
yes needles are scary but they stop being scary after the first time. we're adults. there are laws being passed right now to kill us, theres scarier shit than needles
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
sometimes i think ppl hold themselves back on purpose from doing the best shit for themselves bc as a trans woman you have no reason to not switch to injections and stop taking spiro as soon as possible before your liver fucks itself
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
crazy part is that i havent had a drink in over a month. might break my sober streak idk. i need to get my affairs in order before i start drinking though bc i dont think ill ever stop when i do
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
"don't forget, you're here forever." it says to me. i wish i was dead
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
i used to view people as an escape from myself. now its like a prison.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
"does the stupid tranny have an opinon about (thing i saw on twitter)? hey tranny! what do you think of the thing i saw on twitter?" i hate you
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