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shaeshaeshae

@spaceparanoids.bsky.social
25 followers 0 following 250 posts

thought receptacle 22y grapefruit

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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 15h
random thought: i feel like u can draw a straight line from the intro skits in episodes of MST3K to channel awesome guys having lore inbetween their reviews
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
its still the worst fucking feeling in the world to see someone in a dream and then to wake up from it. like to the point id really prefer sleep paralysis or 10 hour torture nightmares than to hear an invented scenario of someone tell me its gonna be ok. awful.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
it takes a lot in me to not start beefing w random guys on my main
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
dating apps r the worst bc you'll have conversations exclusively like "what kind of music do you like?" "idk i like everything lol" "well whats something youve been listening to lol" "idk i like everything lol" and it takes a week
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
neurospicy is an ick word for me bc ive been infantilized my whole life for being autistic and now that im an adult all these ppl wanna do is do it to themselves. like u dont have to do that yk. sometimes its ok to not woobify ts if you genuinely struggle with it
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
looked at old pictures of myself last night and like. i dont think i like how i look.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
i dreamt about her tonight. she said to me everything was ok but i knew it was wrong. it felt like a mean spirited lie. i've really begun to hate dreams where i meet people who i dont talk to anymore. its cruel. idk.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
why do AI generated temu brand lofi hiphop accounts keep following me. i thought we left lofi hip hop behind when the pandemic started.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
it used to be that u could make gross evil cartoons and there'd be some 55y/o out of touch executive would sign off on making the worst cartoon of all time and it was good
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
fucking pissed off i have swimmers ear and cant fucking sleep
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
pisses me the fuck off how my brother feels entitled to fuck me ovee and leave the house multiple nights in a row when i cannot even make it to doctors appointments without begging ppl to drive me
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i wish it was ok man. i dont wanna live i just want her to be ok.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
ive never been made to feel valued unless im performing a series of tricks or providing a service
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
ive thought so often abt just cashapping her whatever money i have left and jumping
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i think if i was just able to know in some omnipotent way that if i died it would improve her life id do it
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i cant stand when people tell me theyd miss me if i died bc they dont miss me enough to ever actually talk to me
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i wish i was drunk rn but mom is making me babysit my disabled dad while she cheats on him over discord. supposedly there are people who will miss me if i jump off a bridge
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
lowk in my opinion if you can track an artist's hyperfixations* through their art or whatever over time i kind of think less of them as a creative. esp when it amounts to no meaningful growth outside of a new OC for the week * - the incorrect way everyone online likes using that word
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
pissed off bc i accidentally erased my mario world save bc for some fuckass reason all stars + world's file select screen has the A button delete saves.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
sleeping in lowk baller. i like sleeping in its my favorite thing rn
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
normalboots guys jn the early 2010s would have u thinking shit like joe and mac are on the same level as mario
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
day 4. nobody's noticed still. starting to think they won't at all tbh
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
dating app profiles "my love language is touch so i WILL MOLEST YOU 🥰 420 friendly| 🏛 moderate | "
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
day 3. nobody has noticed. am i really that much of a non presence in everyone's life. fucking hell. theyll all piss themselves if they cant get some unfunny whiny fucking tool in vc but have not thought to do ask how im doing after radio silence.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
"my kid is gonna know three languages AND ASL" yeah and you and your girlfriend only know one language between the both of you. how do expect to do that . dickhead.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i never got to be an actual teenager bc my parents would never let me out of the house. the most rebellious shit id do is sneak time on my 3ds. i was 16 at that point. christ its no wonder im so surpressed still
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
the fact that both my gen X parents are still upset abt kurt cobain but never understood why someone would commit suicide, and belittle the act entirely is like, fuckin stupid. "its the coward's way out" only morons who've never struggled believe this.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i hope shes ok. i hope i can do good by her to leave forever
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
genuinely i see no point in living anymore. any good ive ever done is offset by the fact that im such a nuisance at the best of times. ill never be healthy and ill never be able to live with myself
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
im so good at distracting myself that sometimes i forget that i hate being alive and i can just exist as a point of view watching a youtube video or something for a bit
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
brad neely is right. i wanna die while hugging
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
the move for 2027 might be xanax
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
should i just start shit with people bc im bored. does any of it matter anymore. i mean like, i already ruined everything, why not atp.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
taking bets on my hrt appointment next week. is my doctor gonna give me a higher dose? am i gonna start buying DIY? who knows!!!
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
go on 4chan and its all sissy nazi AGP femboys calling each other the n word go on reddit its all annoying skirt go spinny woke 1.0 cops who r trying to hit on each other with no discretion go on tumblr its theyfabs who hate trans women but wokely
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
nobody's noticed i havent talked to them in 2 days
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i find the thought of dying extremely comfortable atp because i wont be around to fuck things up anymore. ppl r just better without me i think
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
im never going to be a better person
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
mom on some shit like "YOU WILL NEED A NEW SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND YOUR OLD DIPLOMA WILL BE VOID IF YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME!!!!!" like fuck off lmao batshit moron. im only getting ts done so when im dead nobody can deadname me
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
sometimes i think ppl hold themselves back on purpose from doing the best shit for themselves bc as a trans woman you have no reason to not switch to injections and stop taking spiro as soon as possible before your liver fucks itself
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
crazy part is that i havent had a drink in over a month. might break my sober streak idk. i need to get my affairs in order before i start drinking though bc i dont think ill ever stop when i do
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
i take stock of the people i know right now and if im excited to talk to them at all. im not. im not excited to know anybody anymore. none of my connections are real. i dont relate to anyone. every interaction is going through the motions of whats expected of me.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
everything feels so distant but its still so raw emotionally. i look at pictures from last year and it feels like a lifetime has passed. nothing is ever gonna get better
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
ive sorta stopped self identifying as trans. im not detrans or whatever god no, but im just kind of a woman and if anyone has a problem w that they can go to hell. theres just too much social and personal baggage with everything so id really rather just be me than my identity
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
i think the easiest and worst mistake to make as a newly out trans person is buying into and feeding each others unrepressed sexuality bc it warps your brain and creates victims
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
i have shit to attend to before any of that. idk.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
therapist telling me to make donations in some kind of virtue signal-y way to do good but like. genuinely i think better retribution would be to just jump off a bridge and give the equivalent money to the ppl ive hurt
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
the fact that ik grown ass adults who play roblox is embarrassing. genuinely how.
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
everything is ragebait specifically targeted to me
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shaeshaeshae @spaceparanoids.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
birthday tomorrow
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