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Sorrel Shamel-Wood

@sorrelmay.bsky.social
1.4K followers 1.2K following 772 posts

Church of England priest. Increasingly confused millennial. Toddler and baby Mum.

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Reposted by Sorrel Shamel-Wood
Physghoul 👻 🎃 @physgal.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Just needs alt-text:
How to avoid sexual assault! A QUICK AND EASY GUIDE* 

sexual violence centre cork 

1 DON'T PUT DRUGS IN PEOPLE'S DRINKS 

4 WHEN YOU SEE A WOMAN WALKING BY HERSELF, LEAVE HER ALONE. 

3 WHEN YOU COME ACROSS SOMEONE WHO IS DRUNK OR ASLEEP, THE BEST THING TO DO IS NOT RAPE THEM. 

6 CARRY A WHISTLE. IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT RAPE SOMEONE, BLOW THE WHISTLE UNTIL SOMEONE COMES TO STOP YOU.

2 USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! IF YOU CAN'T STOP YOURSELF FROM SEXUALLY ASSAULTING SOMEONE, ASK A TRUSTED FRIEND TO ACCOMPANY YOU AT ALL TIMES TO STOP YOU. 

5 IF YOU ARE IN A LIFT AND SOMEONE STEPS IN, REMEMBER NOT TO SEXUALLY ASSAULT THEM.

*for perpetrators.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
‘suspicious farmer foils terrorist plot’ is the most Gloucestershire headline ever.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
What about monks and nuns who want to play?
Clothes with ropes and cords are not allowed in the play area.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Dropped child off at school on time, looking smart with all the requisite equipment. Told the teacher “have a lovely weekend” 🤦‍♀️.
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Reposted by Sorrel Shamel-Wood
Oxford Clarion @oxfordclarion.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Botley Road has reopened at the railway bridge after 1,258 days. The new bridge includes cycleways on each side and enough headroom for a full-height double decker to pass. An extra rail span on the western side will give access to a forthcoming Platform 5 at Oxford station.
Botley Road rail bridge seen this morning (from the carriageway) with a bus about to pass underneathBotley Road rail bridge seen this morning (from the cycleway)
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Reposted by Sorrel Shamel-Wood
Cloudy🐈 @hellocloudy.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
when the bus is really crowded but you have to get to work in the autumn vibes factory 🍂
a work in progress picture of a bunch of small clay sculptures of pumpkins, black cats, crows, skulls and a few foxes and raccoons
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Nothing like some of the comments from atheists after a tragic accident at a Christian festival to remind me that, despite the fact that Christians can be truly awful, I have in fact picked the right side.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Nothing scarier than when you make a bank purchase before 9am and the banking app asks to see your face for verification. Offended it recognised me, frankly.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Lord have mercy. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
bbc.co.uk
Six people injured after sign falls at Christian festival near Steyning
Emergency services were called to reports of people in need of medical attention at Wiston Park.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I know I have a screen addiction, but something isn’t right here.
A screen time average of 25 hours per day.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Did not have a Harry and Meghan UK return on my 2026 bingo card. Has anyone told them the weather‘s changed since they left? Also are they aware of the VAT charge now on private schools?
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👻madeline bOoOoOoOodent👻 @oldenoughtosay.com · 19/08/2026
oh is prince harry returning to england? the same year we've got a tyrant beefing with the Pope? STOP MAKING MEDIEVALISTS RELEVANT
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Nick Gould @profng.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
The VC of the Uni of Greater Manchester has just been sacked for misuse of over £1m of university funds. Hardly a mention in the media. Not black so not newsworthy.
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Scuzzy Mortspider 🕷️ 🎃 @jussienorthside.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Remember when Caroline Flack was hounded to her death by the British media and we were told never again?
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
I came to Bluesky for emergency alert text message solidarity and I was not disappointed.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Look, I didn’t go to all the trouble of giving a southern Californian citizenship on this rainy isle for him to relive his childhood with wildfires, emergency evacuationsn and grab bags.
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Reposted by Sorrel Shamel-Wood
Thomas Sharp (he / they) 🏳️‍🌈 @thomasmsharp.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Was that our first climate change / crisis national security alert?
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
I’ve got to the “how quickly can you run around the garden ten times?” stage of the holidays.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Can I please win a trip to Rome but not have to do the running?
A poster advertising a competition to win a trip for the Rome half marathon.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Watching people frantically scan my husband for clues that he is the good kind of American is basically a full time occupation these days.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
People say “I recognise you” quite a lot and I have to quickly guess depending on contextual clues why that might be.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
One of my memories as a kid is going to the beach with all my cousins and my mum and aunts just talking about how expensive it is. “It’s actually such an expensive day, isn’t it, when you add up parking, ice creams…” Yes and me saying that will probably now also be my children’s memory 🤦‍♀️.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Whoever said to bring a little palette of watercolours to the beach because it will keep the kids busy has not met my kids.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Happy the kids kept requesting Shakespeare… … until I realised they thought it was “double double, toilet trouble” and that’s why they liked it so much 🙄.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
If you need a sign that AI can be wildly inaccurate, please let it be this. I can’t even begin to tell you the extent to which this misrepresents my sporting contribution. “Stand out” well yes, by the side of the pitch, mostly.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
I thought: “Sports Day has been moved to tomorrow, please bring your own camping chair and gazebo” was Internet satire until I received that exact email.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Neighbours of Bluesky, please help me out. I’m planning a 70s-90s school assembly tunes com and sing event at church. Which Come and Praise (or similar) classics should definitely be included? Which ones do you remember? I’ll go first: Who Put the Colours in the Rainbow Thanks 🙂
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Everyone else: The country is at a standstill. Schools are closing, rail lines are disrupted. The vulnerable are at risk. The climate emergency is here. Church marketing departments (I.e. in most cases the vicar on Facebook): HAVE YOU CONSIDERED COMING TO OUR COOL STONE BUILDING?
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Nothing like the passive aggression of a toddler glaring at you until you also wish them a happy weekend, when their whole life is one giant weekend.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
Ok if you have a giant second born son and a small to medium first born son with a two year age gap, perhaps don’t buy them matching jackets.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Baking with a toddler is really more process than product.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
I am a cuddle up under a blanket when it’s raining type of person and the toddler is a run around in all weathers in a puddlesuit type of person.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Never seen a child look as confused as my preschooler when the sports coach told the group “now get into pairs”. He just stood there vaguely looking around for a giant piece of fruit.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
Me: If ever you get lost, if we’re at the park and you can’t find Mummy, I need you to find another Mummy with children. Ok? The Preschooler: Ok. Will there be the same toys at the new Mummy’s house? Will it be the same bike? Wow.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-... I completely agree with Zoe Harrison. Women have always trained and played with size 5 balls. Ridiculous to change it like this.
bbc.co.uk
Zoe Harrison: Red Roses fly-half says smaller balls for WXV is 'worst decision ever'
England fly-half Zoe Harrison says the introduction of smaller balls for this autumn's WXV Global Series is
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Algorithms are so silly. Yes, we recently went on holiday, world of the Internet. O haha you are now advertising holidays all the time, because you think we can afford to go on holiday again in the next five years? You silly sausage.
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Reposted by Sorrel Shamel-Wood
Anna Kornbluh @annakornbluh.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
Slightly diminish a book The Mid Gatsby
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BigSlim @imbigslim.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
I regret to inform you that Ask Jeeves is dead. The site closed yesterday. Web 1.0 lost another founder. Ask Jeeves: June 3, 1996 - May 1, 2026. Send no memes.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
As I edit the first draft of my novel, I realise the bits that seem the most outlandish and unrealistic are the things that actually happened in my extended family. 🫤
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Catherine of Sienna was the youngest of TWENTY-FIVE children?
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Good morning grown ups, if my current curtains are 2m should I buy 150-199 or 200-250cm for the new ones? I know that obviously the current ones technically fall into the latter categor, but won’t they be too long? Thank you for your assistance in this matter. Have a blessed day.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
Any writers looking to connect here? I just finished the first draft of my novel after 8 months. Thought I’d be celebrating but I feel so disheartened at how bad it is (this is not false humility; it is objectively terrible) and how much more work there is to do. So, so much more 😫.
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The Map Center @mapcenter.com · 26/04/2026
It's a shame that "defend your culture" always means "hate strangers different from you" and never "enact anti-pollution laws so that you can go fishing with your grandkids the way your grandpa taught you."
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Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 25/04/2026
Yeah. If it weren’t for people…
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
If you want to encourage a toddler to eat vegetables, try planting the seeds with them & giving them responsibility for watering. Then, when it’s grown, ask them which leaves they would like and cut them off the plant in front of them. O wait, they still hate lettuce it was all a waste of time.
A lettuce plant
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
www.theguardian.com/stage/ng-int... So many in the wrong place here, I don’t even know where to begin! Othello and the Tempest far too low.l
theguardian.com
To see or not to see? Every single Shakespeare play – ranked!
Antony and Cleopatra? Exhausting. Lear? Magnificent but flawed. Hamlet? Limitless. For Shakespeare’s birthday, the Guardian’s former theatre critic ranks all the plays
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
Best wishes to everyone receiving primary school offers today.
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
www.theguardian.com/books/ng-int... The Gruffalo and Fox in Sox are the wrong way round, age-wise, in my opinion.
theguardian.com
From Peepo! to Middlemarch: 25 books to read before you turn 25
An unmissable book for every year of your early life – with recommendations from Jacqueline Wilson, Michael Rosen, Katherine Rundell and more
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Sorrel Shamel-Wood @sorrelmay.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Pretty sure when the dentist asked the preschooler if he had any questions, he wasn’t expecting him to ask him and the dental hygienist which of them was going to die first 🙄.
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