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Fuck, fuck, fuck— "Here's some candy. And some... uh, money." Sylvain digs frantically through his coat pockets and dumps the contents in his daughter's tiny hands– lint and spare glasses and all. "I gotta— I'll be right back. Ask your nanny to take you and your sister shopping."

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 2h

Oh. Oh fuck. Sylvain's throat goes uncomfortably dry. "What, uh. What color are its eyes?"

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 2h

It's not often Colette sees her daddy's face get all stiff before he tries to crack a joke. "Scary teddy, huh? Is it a new toy?"

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 5h

"Woah, what's with the long face, Lottie? You're gonna get wrinkles early if you don't watch out."

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

. Sadly for them, I only love one woman.

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Oh shoot, I think I just heard Beyla fall. I'm gonna go check on her—

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

To write?? I love your enthusiasm! You go, girl!

100

Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

The vow was to stay together till our death, Ingrid, not A death. 😒

000

Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

[ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ] What would you like to do with all this free time?

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Don't worry, his days aren't numbered yet. You can take as long as you need. And you can name your price, of course. Money is of no consequence. 😉

100

Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

How much would you charge to write a eulogy for a soon to be dead turkey horse?

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Oh~ I get to have my wife all to myself? ✨

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

For the record, I hated the horse before the horse hated me.

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

G a s p. "You would break that poor man's heart. Take that back."

000

Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

"Me? Oh, no, no. Cook will do the cooking."

010

Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

We gotta come up with some stupid holiday where everyone gathers around the dinner table to eat roast demon turkey horse.

000

Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Ah, I remember my first full-force slap...

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

NOODLE—?! I beg your finest pardon?

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

[I n h a l e— no, wait, terrible idea. Exhale, exhale fast.] The problem, sweetie, is the smell!

000

Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

It's cold every summer! That's what living in Faerghus is like! 💢

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Ingrid, nothing would bring me more joy than seeing that thing outside where it belongs. [Suddenly, from somewhere overhead: ⓒⓛⓞⓟ... ⓒⓛⓞⓟ. . . ⓒⓛⓞⓟ. . .]

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

S-hhrhrhrhglgllgl— sstOP YOU'rE GETTING MY HAiR WET-heghhrrrlghrlllglrggrlll!!!

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Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

Sylvain flaps a dismissive hand. "Relax, just tell them a horse farted. They'll probably believe it."

000

Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

"WOO-HOO! THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE!" By the Goddess, there is debris flying everywhere! "...We should probably get back inside."

000

Sylvain José Gautier @sonofgautier.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

We're well into the summer season and haven't had a single wet t-shirt contest. What is this world coming to? 😕

020