iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

Happy New Year to women who protect women ❤️

Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 21/12/2025

Isn't it incredible how we have this cultural belief that men are the most competent and capable people in the workforce, and yet somehow they're assumed not to be able to figure out how to competently organise household tasks and look after children? No particular reason I'm thinking about this on

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

If he forgets to get you a Christmas gift this year (even though you didn't forget to get him a gift, or arrange the kids' gifts), you have my blessing to file for divorce on Dec 26th 😘

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

A haunted house and it's just a guy who wants a trad wife but not a gold digger

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

A haunted house but it's just every older man who said you were "mature for your age".

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

A haunted house but it's just a male project manager convincing his wife he doesn't have the skills to run a household

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

A haunted house but it's just a guy who can't find the clit telling you condoms "don't feel as good"

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

A haunted house but it's just a gallery of single mothers being called "crazy" by their exes who don't pay child support

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

A haunted house but it's just your country telling women they need to have more kids while also refusing to pay parental leave

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

A haunted house but it's just one guy screaming that women should keep their legs closed and then screaming that women should always be sexually available to men

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

A haunted house but it's just men yelling "you chose motherhood so don't complain about how hard it is" while yelling that all women must have kids

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 07/09/2025

Men in my comments: You're only a feminist because your dad rejected you My dad: [still calls me Summie-chum]

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 06/09/2025

Men on the internet: FEMINISTS ALL HAVE DADDY ISSUES My Dad:

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 21/07/2025

Hi friends, I'm gonna park my Bluesky account for a while. I just can't give it the attention it deserves, much as I wish I could. Be sure to follow me on Instagram, TikTok, Threads and YouTube where I am better able to keep track of our conversations ❤️

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 20/07/2025

If it hurts men's feelings to hear that we are so afraid to meet a man alone in the woods that we would prefer to meet a bear – all I want to hear from men is, how can I change men's behaviour so that is not the case?

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

The way to interact with it as a feminist – particularly if you're going to be an intersectional and decolonial feminist – is to reject it entirely. Mind you, I'm not sure how. Let me know if you solve it.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

Beauty standards can never be decolonised, can never be decapitalised and can never really be feminist. Hierarchies of beauty are white supremacist, racist, fatphobic and ableist.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 18/07/2025

Will your feminism ruin your chances of love? Depends if you know what love is. Feminism will certainly cost you the attention of men who would drain your resources, disempower you, and expect you to compromise your self-respect. Real love doesn't expect you to submit to your own dehumanisation👍

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 16/07/2025

Don't let anyone tell you the pay gap exists because women just don't ask for higher pay (or promotions). Studies show that when women try to negotiate for pay & opportunities, we are rejected. Women are punished for insubordination if we advocate for ourselves – behaviour for which men are rewarded

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 15/07/2025

Ladies, every time a guy tries to manterrupt you, just keep talking. Talk until he runs out of steam and can't get his voice past you. Keep talking until he's flummoxed. Don't accept interruptions. Practise this skill until it's second nature. Keep talking until men learn never to interrupt us again

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 14/07/2025

A cishet male ally to feminism is merely a patient wolf. Prime your hackles accordingly.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

sustain him throughout his life, including the point where he may choose to leave his wife. She will then be high and dry without any career or income earning opportunities to support herself and her children.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

Women are not "privileged" by staying at home while their men go to work. While it's a privilege if only one person's salary can support the household, a SAHM performs 24/7 unpaid domestic labour and child care. This work facilitates the man to build a career which will (1/2)

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

Feminists write books on how to solve the domestic labour gap, wage gap, pleasure gap – and indeed the gaps in some of the outcomes that see men and boys suffering because of patriarchy. All feminism ever does is present solutions. But are you paying attention or do you benefit from the status quo?

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

Feminists bring solutions around how to improve economic policy, how to change healthcare, how to fix men's violence, how to reform dating and marriage so that it does not continue to oppress women, how to create a more inclusive and diverse world...

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

dO fEmiNiSts bRiNg soLuTioNs tO tHe tAbLe? Feminism is one of the only – if not the only – sociopolitical movement that does consistently and chiefly bring solutions and educate around solutions that can help to achieve gender equality.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 11/07/2025

Men don't bestow some grand favour on women by forcing them into primary child caring responsibilities in exchange for paying a few bills. Marriage and motherhood under capitalist patriarchy are designed to remove women from their careers and public life to support men to continue in theirs.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

Romantic partnerships are supposed to be PARTNERSHIPS. You can't love someone at the same time as creating work for them that you have no intention of alleviating. Love is as love does. And exploiting someone – as so many men do in a heteropatriarchal society – is not love.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

"Provider" men can choose to withdraw their financial presence from a woman's life at any time, leaving her with employment gaps, lapsed workforce skills and bleak options to support herself. Oh, you think she's getting child support and half his assets in the divorce? You must be new here.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 09/07/2025

When a couple has children, it's imperative they both engage in the gruelling, unpaid labour of caregiving, and the domestic labour that keeps the home running. And just because one of the parents is also going out and earning income, they're still not exempt from doing the rest of the work.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 09/07/2025

Women regularly me that motherhood radicalised them. It doesn't surprise me. Motherhood throws you into the grinder of some of the worst inadequacies and inequalities of our social systems – in ways that non-mothers don't tend to encounter. Being radicalised is almost unavoidable.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

Despite the quality of men's attention, women are taught to value it above all. We're taught that the greatest goal for a woman is to succeed in luring a man into marriage. But when women decenter men, fuckboys can't play with us. We don't want their love & won't sacrifice our pleasure for it.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

Men still hold most of the power in hookups, because we're taught that their romantic attention is the prize – to be withheld – a great gift to bestow upon a woman. Men withhold commitment and extract sex from women on the promise of giving her this ultimate prize (which we now know is no prize).

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

Hookup culture is one of those things that in a neutral society, without awful gendered power dynamics of exploitation, might be harmless. It would be wonderful if people could seek pleasure, negotiate fun hookup experiences, and come away from them feeling empowered and fulfilled. But as we know...

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

No matter how much time feminists spend educating women about the systemic nature of their oppression – there will always be those who stagger into our replies dragging the bloated corpse of "bUt fEmiNiSm iS wHen wOmEn GeT To cHoOse"

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 07/07/2025

One way to decenter men, which we don't talk about much, is removing men as your sources of entertainment, information and life advice – turning away from male creators, authors, influencers and pundits. Curating a life where you mostly pay attention to women can have an amazing influence on you.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 06/07/2025

Men feel slighted by women not centering them in the world and they decide that women deserve death for that. Can you imagine if women decided that men deserved death every time we experienced patriarchal oppression, misogyny, being dismissed, dehumanised and degraded because of systemic misogyny?

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 06/07/2025

Funny the way women have legitimate reasons to hate and fear men – for the provable, demonstrated ways they treat us with violence and disrespect, and are oppressive, degrading, and dehumanising – and yet we don't go around killing men or even being violent or threatening to them.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 04/07/2025

Women actually ARE competent and capable of "doing it all", but why should we have to? It still doesn't allow us to "have it all". Meanwhile, men are not even required to prove they can do ONE thing competently, let alone all of it, and they are still given the world.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 04/07/2025

Look at Barry Keoghan – a massive rising star with a toddler. Does anybody ask how he balances parenthood and work? No. It's assumed that the mother of his baby, who he is split from, will sacrifice her career to raise the child so Barry Keoghan can take his Hollywood moment while it's happening.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 04/07/2025

Think about how many successful women you watched drop out of their career once they had children, while the father of their kids continued to rise in success. If we're asking "can women have it all?" the answer is only yes if men step back and do for us what we've been doing for them.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 03/07/2025

It's not that women can have it all – it's that women are expected to do it all. And women can't have it all because we are busy facilitating men to have it all.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

Some men think they're getting exploited in a divorce settlement when they have to give anything at all – because they have done zero analysis on the economics of gender, and the way the heterosexual household financially compromises their female spouses, and needs to be compensated.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

Some men believe they're doing all the "providing" if they're financially contributing. Then they go through divorce court and are surprised to find that actually, there is a monetary value on being a mother/primary parent and domestic labourer, and that this needs to be compensated in a divorce.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

Some men only want to "provide" as long as their family is under their roof, in their control, lending them the social status of being a dad and husband. They believe they get to impoverish a woman as punishment for leaving – and they stop caring about providing for children they can't control.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

Why do men think women exploit them in divorce? Men can walk away from marriages with kids believing they owe their spouse nothing – even if she was the primary caregiver! They wanna create a family household where their spouse can't continue paid work... then walk away and not compensate her?

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 01/07/2025

I've never lost a male friend to the red pill movement, but if I did, I think I'd cope by remembering that if a man is susceptible to that movement, he was never actually a safe friend for women. If there was a little crack in him which the manosphere could exploit? He was never the man I thought.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

Women's true greatest enemies are misogynistic men, toxic masculinity and systemic patriarchy. Violent men, oppressive men, men who degrade us, humiliate us, discount us, and disrespect us – those are women's worst enemies. Not other women.

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