iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

Happy New Year to women who protect women ❤️

Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 21/12/2025

Isn't it incredible how we have this cultural belief that men are the most competent and capable people in the workforce, and yet somehow they're assumed not to be able to figure out how to competently organise household tasks and look after children? No particular reason I'm thinking about this on

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

If he forgets to get you a Christmas gift this year (even though you didn't forget to get him a gift, or arrange the kids' gifts), you have my blessing to file for divorce on Dec 26th 😘

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

A haunted house but it's just men yelling "you chose motherhood so don't complain about how hard it is" while yelling that all women must have kids

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 07/09/2025

Men in my comments: You're only a feminist because your dad rejected you My dad: [still calls me Summie-chum]

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 06/09/2025

Men on the internet: FEMINISTS ALL HAVE DADDY ISSUES My Dad:

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 21/07/2025

Hi friends, I'm gonna park my Bluesky account for a while. I just can't give it the attention it deserves, much as I wish I could. Be sure to follow me on Instagram, TikTok, Threads and YouTube where I am better able to keep track of our conversations ❤️

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 20/07/2025

If it hurts men's feelings to hear that we are so afraid to meet a man alone in the woods that we would prefer to meet a bear – all I want to hear from men is, how can I change men's behaviour so that is not the case?

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

Beauty standards can never be decolonised, can never be decapitalised and can never really be feminist. Hierarchies of beauty are white supremacist, racist, fatphobic and ableist.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 18/07/2025

Will your feminism ruin your chances of love? Depends if you know what love is. Feminism will certainly cost you the attention of men who would drain your resources, disempower you, and expect you to compromise your self-respect. Real love doesn't expect you to submit to your own dehumanisation👍

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 16/07/2025

Don't let anyone tell you the pay gap exists because women just don't ask for higher pay (or promotions). Studies show that when women try to negotiate for pay & opportunities, we are rejected. Women are punished for insubordination if we advocate for ourselves – behaviour for which men are rewarded

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 15/07/2025

Ladies, every time a guy tries to manterrupt you, just keep talking. Talk until he runs out of steam and can't get his voice past you. Keep talking until he's flummoxed. Don't accept interruptions. Practise this skill until it's second nature. Keep talking until men learn never to interrupt us again

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 14/07/2025

A cishet male ally to feminism is merely a patient wolf. Prime your hackles accordingly.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

Women are not "privileged" by staying at home while their men go to work. While it's a privilege if only one person's salary can support the household, a SAHM performs 24/7 unpaid domestic labour and child care. This work facilitates the man to build a career which will (1/2)

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

dO fEmiNiSts bRiNg soLuTioNs tO tHe tAbLe? Feminism is one of the only – if not the only – sociopolitical movement that does consistently and chiefly bring solutions and educate around solutions that can help to achieve gender equality.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 11/07/2025

Men don't bestow some grand favour on women by forcing them into primary child caring responsibilities in exchange for paying a few bills. Marriage and motherhood under capitalist patriarchy are designed to remove women from their careers and public life to support men to continue in theirs.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

Romantic partnerships are supposed to be PARTNERSHIPS. You can't love someone at the same time as creating work for them that you have no intention of alleviating. Love is as love does. And exploiting someone – as so many men do in a heteropatriarchal society – is not love.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 10/07/2025

"Provider" men can choose to withdraw their financial presence from a woman's life at any time, leaving her with employment gaps, lapsed workforce skills and bleak options to support herself. Oh, you think she's getting child support and half his assets in the divorce? You must be new here.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 09/07/2025

When a couple has children, it's imperative they both engage in the gruelling, unpaid labour of caregiving, and the domestic labour that keeps the home running. And just because one of the parents is also going out and earning income, they're still not exempt from doing the rest of the work.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 09/07/2025

Women regularly me that motherhood radicalised them. It doesn't surprise me. Motherhood throws you into the grinder of some of the worst inadequacies and inequalities of our social systems – in ways that non-mothers don't tend to encounter. Being radicalised is almost unavoidable.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

Hookup culture is one of those things that in a neutral society, without awful gendered power dynamics of exploitation, might be harmless. It would be wonderful if people could seek pleasure, negotiate fun hookup experiences, and come away from them feeling empowered and fulfilled. But as we know...

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 08/07/2025

No matter how much time feminists spend educating women about the systemic nature of their oppression – there will always be those who stagger into our replies dragging the bloated corpse of "bUt fEmiNiSm iS wHen wOmEn GeT To cHoOse"

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 07/07/2025

One way to decenter men, which we don't talk about much, is removing men as your sources of entertainment, information and life advice – turning away from male creators, authors, influencers and pundits. Curating a life where you mostly pay attention to women can have an amazing influence on you.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 06/07/2025

Men feel slighted by women not centering them in the world and they decide that women deserve death for that. Can you imagine if women decided that men deserved death every time we experienced patriarchal oppression, misogyny, being dismissed, dehumanised and degraded because of systemic misogyny?

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 06/07/2025

Funny the way women have legitimate reasons to hate and fear men – for the provable, demonstrated ways they treat us with violence and disrespect, and are oppressive, degrading, and dehumanising – and yet we don't go around killing men or even being violent or threatening to them.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 04/07/2025

Think about how many successful women you watched drop out of their career once they had children, while the father of their kids continued to rise in success. If we're asking "can women have it all?" the answer is only yes if men step back and do for us what we've been doing for them.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 03/07/2025

It's not that women can have it all – it's that women are expected to do it all. And women can't have it all because we are busy facilitating men to have it all.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 02/07/2025

Why do men think women exploit them in divorce? Men can walk away from marriages with kids believing they owe their spouse nothing – even if she was the primary caregiver! They wanna create a family household where their spouse can't continue paid work... then walk away and not compensate her?

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 01/07/2025

I've never lost a male friend to the red pill movement, but if I did, I think I'd cope by remembering that if a man is susceptible to that movement, he was never actually a safe friend for women. If there was a little crack in him which the manosphere could exploit? He was never the man I thought.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

The myth that women are each other's worst enemies is just that: a myth. It serves patriarchy to pit women against each other, so they don't ally against their true common enemy. And when women share their secrets with each other, they're empowered to identify predators and their patterns.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 30/06/2025

The presence of a wife at home doing 24/7 unpaid caring and domestic labour is basically the unit that props up our entire economy, enabling men to secure financial power at women's expense.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 29/06/2025

Do self-defense classes help women? Or is this an individual solution to a systemic problem, so that men don't have to address patriarchal violence? Does self-defense help women against financial abuse? Does it fight medical misogyny? Does it advance workplace rights or reproductive freedom?

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 28/06/2025

When you walk into a healthcare setting as a woman, you're up against a history of society thinking women are crazy, not believing women, and not actually knowing anything about women's bodies. Plus, your physicians may have little to no awareness of these biases. No wonder you get inadequate care.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 26/06/2025

Relying on men financially is a vulnerable, disempowering position for women. And there is no guarantee that a man will always be able to provide for you, even if he wants to, which, news flash: many relationships end in the man not wanting to.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 26/06/2025

I actually see it as a form of violence that society is still structured in a way that women are so economically disadvantaged that we get to the end of our lives with a great deal less wealth than men do.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

People hesitate to admit that relationships can fall apart, and often do. After a breakup, the main thing that plunges women into poverty is the fact that they were obliged to abandon their careers – their personal income opportunities – in order to care for kids. Then they're left unemployable.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

As a woman it can be really easy to feel despondent around how to meaningfully attack gender inequality. But there are many ways legislation and policy changes can actually reduce some of the impacts that systemic patriarchy and misogyny have on us. The main place is women's economic participation.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

One thing I recommend to straight women in particular, is to create the most full social life with friends that you can manage. It's hard to get taken for a ride by men or sacrifice yourself to patriarchal expectations if you're already occupied with loving, intimate, busy relationships with friends

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 23/06/2025

If the pandemic taught us anything about work, it's that there's no sense in being loyal to an employer. Especially as a woman, and double-especially as a woman of colour. If your employer won't acknowledge or reward the hard work you're doing, you might as well go get rewarded somewhere else.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

Jobs done by men attract prestige, but when the same work is done by women, it's merely women's work. There's prestige to being a chef (a mostly male profession), but there's no prestige to being a home cook (a mostly female task). If it pays, it's men's work. If it’s unpaid? Women do it.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

When industries shift from mostly men to mostly women, the average pay of that industry drops. Men in my comments love to argue that if women were cheaper to hire, businesses would only hire women. But what actually happens is employers don’t truly believe women are competent, and don't hire them.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 19/06/2025

On Juneteenth, witnessing what Adriana Smith and her family were forced to endure, I'm thinking about the myths invented by white men to justify the physical horrors they inflicted on enslaved Black people – and which the medical establishment still perpetuates. For example:

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 17/06/2025

Men will take the side of a man they don't even know over taking the side of a woman they care about.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 16/06/2025

Men deny your experiences of patriarchy’s violence not only because they’ve been taught to deny all your experiences as a woman (because you couldn’t possibly be the authority on your own life) but because they’re taught to protect patriarchy too.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 16/06/2025

Periodic reminder for women (and me): Men aren’t the sun. We don't have to orbit them.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 15/06/2025

Women are taught to listen to other people's lived experience and credit them as being the truth holders of their own experience. Men, on the other hand, are taught to doubt women's experience, deny it and disagree with it.

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 15/06/2025

Probably popular opinion: schools segregated by gender should not exist. Not only should they not exist, no aspect of society should be segregated by gender or race or any other category. If nearly all of adult society is not segregated by gender, why on earth should it be ok for young people?

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Sommer Tothill @sommertothill.bsky.social · 13/06/2025

In female-dominated industries like nursing, teaching & childcare, it's shockingly common for the upper management roles to be held by men. This phenomenon is known as the "glass elevator" (1/2)

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