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The Something Guide to Everything

@somethingguide.bsky.social
75 followers 349 following 14 posts

An audio guide for all people, animals, elements, and thoughtforms that want to realize their dreams. Made by Oliver Morris and Max Kreisky COMING SOON

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The Something Guide to Everything @somethingguide.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
REMEMBER YOUR MANTRA: I AM TOUGH. I AM STRONG. I TRUST IN THE UNIVERSES PLAN FOR ME. I AM NOT GOING TO BE BEATEN BY A PIECE OF FABRIC. TEARS MAY COME AT THIS POINT. LET THEM. - EXCERPT FROM “SO YOU WANT TO SET UP A HAMMOCK”
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The Something Guide to Everything @somethingguide.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
TO ORDER A COPY OF "SO YOU WANT TO BE A SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON" SEND A LUCID DREAM AND A SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE TO -̵̻͔̣͊͐ ̷̠͔̮̦͕͉̰͕͍̭̥͔̘͆̈́͝-̶̡̪͕̝̪̝̥̟̝̰̣̙̯̰̻͊́̿͐̾̋͘ ̶͚͙̆̈́̎͒̃̈͋̏̕͠-̵̡͓̻̯͓̺̥̟͙̳͕̦͔͐̓̿͛͂͌͐̉ͅ ̸̢̘̰̝͈̍ͅ-̷̧̨͔̻̣͇̭̰͎̯͂͒̾̍̄͑̀̇͗̇̓̓̏͜͠ͅͅ ̵͇̝̭̫́̔͝-̷̞̯̹̺̪̓̅̈́͘ ̸̨̨̦̗͍̘̳͈̜̬̦́͗̿̑̉͛͑͌̅̈͊-̴̨̪̫̟̫̤̣̀̈́̇̈̈́̐̏̏̐ ̷̧̧̣͕͖̞̯̟̬̭̇͒̋ͅ-̶̧̢͍̺̺̹͎̱̬̮̘̑̅-̵͔̥̟̖͔̠̜̾̎͗̋͐̽̒̾͝ ̴̛̦̩͓̇̐͐͑͐̓̅̀-̸̧̧̺̠̠̹̘͇̭̤̏̌̇̀͒̓ ̴͉̖̖͈̣̮̦̩̒̑̿̔̑̽͘ͅͅ-̴̜͉̞̻̪̤̲̝͌͐̊̾̍̊́̏̍͜͝ͅ ̸̡̧͔̖̟̥̬̖͈̻͚̳̲̱̮̌̚-̶̼̱̉͊͊̏͘͝ ̸̡̢̖̝͈̝̹̝̞̖̰̼͓̦̭̒͐̋̅̎͗̐͆̇̏̿̀-̷̧̭̯͉̱̺͎̹͓̙̪͓̗̑ͅ ̵̨̹̖̘͖͊̓͑̈͆̓̂͝͝ͅ-̵̲͕͛͗̂̉ ̵͔͓̼̳̝͇̟̻̪̣̭͂̿͐͗͜-̷͖̞̳̺̳̥̭̝͐̽̽̔̉̉̕̕͜͝ ̸̞͚̣̭̈́͛͊̈́̀̎̾̂͆̕͘͝-̶̺̗̰͎̯̦̭̞͔͗̈́̎̑̉͛͗̈́̋̓̈̕͘ ̷̨̪̺͉̄́͠-̶̛̼͕̝͙͐̍̀̍̿̑͛͋͊̉̂̚̕̕ ̴̖̗̣̜͕̝͇͕͊̔͂̏-̵̣͍̰͓̩̣̠̳̦͕͚̦̼̗̾̑͗̈̈́̚̕ ̶̗̳̼̪̩͚̭̮̰͋̾͂̌̃̌͑͋̀̒͒̐͠ͅ-̸̨͍̦̯͇̠̪̩̾̈́͑̅͌͂̾̅̎̌͛͋̚͝͝ ̸̨͇̲͇̬̟̥͌̄͋̔-̸̭̙͈͈̱̠̹̮̫̈́͆̉̓̄͊͊͒͋̂̍̉̇̚͝ ̸̜͇̜͉̗͎͔͐̄̃̋̋̓͘̚-̷̬͚̆ ̷͔̘̽̓̆͛̇̑͝͝-̶͈̰̭͉̟͍̒̈́̾̀̂̾̏͠
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The Something Guide to Everything @somethingguide.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
TOP TIPS FOR IMMATERIAL THOUGHTFORMS - 1. IMMANATE FREELY 2. EMANATE FREQUENTLY 3. REIFY THE METAPHOR
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The Something Guide to Everything @somethingguide.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
TO ORDER A COPY OF THE SOMETHING GUIDE TO EVERYTHING’S GUIDE “SO YOU WANT TO GET RID OF THOSE MEDDLING KIDS,” SEND A LIFELIKE RUBBER MASK AND A SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE TO -̵̻͔͊͐ ̷̠͆̈́͝-̶͊́̿͘ ̶̆̈́̎̕-̵͐̓̿͛ ̸̢̘̰̍- - -̴̀̈́̇̈ ̷-- - - - - ̓͑͝-̵͛͗̂̉ ̵͂̿-͝ ̸̈́͛͊̕-̶ - ̔͂̏-̵̾ -̸̾ -̸ - ̷̽̓-̶
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The Something Guide to Everything @somethingguide.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
TO ORDER A COPY OF THE SOMETHING GUIDE TO EVERYTHING’S GUIDE “SO YOU WANT TO BE IDLE,” SEND A STONE EFFIGY AND A SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE TO -̵̻͔͊͐ ̷̠͆̈́͝-̶͊́̿͘ ̶̆̈́̎̕-̵͐̓̿͛ ̸̢̘̰̍- - -̴̀̈́̇̈ ̷-- - - - - ̓͑͝-̵͛͗̂̉ ̵͂̿-͝ ̸̈́͛͊̕-̶ - ̔͂̏-̵̾ -̸̾ -̸ - ̷̽̓-̶
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The Something Guide to Everything @somethingguide.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
NOIR FILM PROTAGONIST TOP TIPS 1. AVOID SWIMMING POOLS 2. DO NOT KILL YOUR PERFECT DOUBLE AND STEAL THEIR LIFE 3. THE SUITCASE HAS A NUKE IN IT -EXCERPT FROM: “SO YOU WANT TO OPEN A DETECTIVE AGENCY”
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The Something Guide to Everything @somethingguide.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
TO ORDER A COPY OF THE SOMETHING GUIDE TO EVERYTHING’S GUIDE “SO YOU WANT TO BE A SKELETON,” SEND YOUR FAVORITE BONE AND A SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE TO -̵̻͔̣͊͐ ̷̠͔̮̦͕͉̰͕͍̭̥͔̘͆̈́͝-̶̡̪͕̝̪̝̥̟̝̰̣̙̯̰̻͊́̿͐̾̋͘ ̶͚͙̆̈́̎͒̃̈͋̏̕͠-̵̡͓̻̯͓̺̥̟͙̳͕̦͔͐̓̿͛͂͌͐̉ͅ ̸̢̘̰̝͈̍ͅ-̷̧̨͔̻̣͇̭̰͎̯͂͒̾̍̄͑̀̇͗̇̓̓̏͜͠ͅͅ ̵͇̝̭̫́̔͝-̷̞̯̹̺̪̓̅̈́͘ ̸̨̨̦̗͍̘̳͈̜̬̦́͗̿̑̉͛͑͌̅̈͊-̴̨̪̫̟̫̤̣̀̈́̇̈̈́̐̏̏̐ ̷̧̧̣͕͖̞̯̟̬̭̇͒̋ͅ-̶̧̢͍̺̺̹͎̱̬̮̘̑̅-̵͔̥̟̖͔̠̜̾̎͗̋͐̽̒̾͝ ̴̛̦̩͓̇̐͐͑͐̓̅̀-̸̧̧̺̠̠̹̘͇̭̤̏̌̇̀͒̓ ̴͉̖̖͈̣̮̦̩̒̑̿̔̑̽͘ͅͅ-̴̜͉̞̻̪̤̲̝͌͐̊̾̍̊́̏̍͜͝ͅ ̸̡̧͔̖̟̥̬̖͈̻͚̳̲̱̮̌̚-̶̼̱̉͊͊̏͘͝ ̸̡̢̖̝͈̝̹̝̞̖̰̼͓̦̭̒͐̋̅̎͗̐͆̇̏̿̀-̷̧̭̯͉̱̺͎̹͓̙̪͓̗̑ͅ ̵̨̹̖̘͖͊̓͑̈͆̓̂͝͝ͅ-̵̲͕͛͗̂̉ ̵͔͓̼̳̝͇̟̻̪̣̭͂̿͐͗͜-̷͖̞̳̺̳̥̭̝͐̽̽̔̉̉̕̕͜͝ ̸̞͚̣̭̈́͛͊̈́̀̎̾̂͆̕͘͝-̶̺̗̰͎̯̦̭̞͔͗̈́̎̑̉͛͗̈́̋̓̈̕͘ ̷̨̪̺͉̄́͠-̶̛̼͕̝͙͐̍̀̍̿̑͛͋͊̉̂̚̕̕ ̴̖̗̣̜͕̝͇͕͊̔͂̏-̵̣͍̰͓̩̣̠̳̦͕͚̦̼̗̾̑͗̈̈́̚̕ ̶̗̳̼̪̩͚̭̮̰͋̾͂̌̃̌͑͋̀̒͒̐͠ͅ-̸̨͍̦̯͇̠̪̩̾̈́͑̅͌͂̾̅̎̌͛͋̚͝͝ ̸̨͇̲͇̬̟̥͌̄͋̔-̸̭̙͈͈̱̠̹̮̫̈́͆̉̓̄͊͊͒͋̂̍̉̇̚͝ ̸̜͇̜͉̗͎͔͐̄̃̋̋̓͘̚-̷̬͚̆ ̷͔̘̽̓̆͛̇̑͝͝-̶͈̰̭͉̟͍̒̈́̾̀̂̾̏͠
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The Something Guide to Everything @somethingguide.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
WE ARE EXCITED TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS.
A laptop showing the text 'THE SOMETHING GUIDE TO EVERYTHING' next to a head with glowing eyes and the top of the skull blown off and smoking
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