Sign in

Carlos B. Eaton

@someheifer.bsky.social
1.6K followers 488 following 8.4K posts

Come in, dear. Have a seat. Take off your bra if you’d like. IG -> @someheifer 🇩🇴🇵🇷 📍Chicago

PostsRepliesMedia
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 1h
Gonna start introducing myself as Señorita Awesome on all the apps
070
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 1h
OKAY LEMME PAY FOR THE UNLIMITED EDITION THEN JUST IN CASE
1110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 2h
HEY I AM GOING TOO!
170
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 2h
Girl look at his fucking doopy ass face of course he does
0110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 3h
How it feels to respond to passive aggressiveness with aggressive aggressiveness
070
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 4h
I wish more of my friends liked to actually talk on the phone for nothing more than recreating this scene
040
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 4h
010
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 5h
Camilla is a fugly slut
1191
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 14h
Oh don’t worry about me. I’ve always wanted to go but I can’t Saturday so its cool 🤗
110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 15h
May I be born lahteenks in every lifetime 🫶
0140
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 15h
On girl he was like almost 100 and I was never that close to my godparents it’s fine lmao Be more sorry for me because I’m still trying to figure out how to explain to my parents how I fucking forgot that he died 😭
130
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 15h
Texted my parents because I hadn’t heard about my godfather in a while and he’s old af so wanted to see how he’s doing. Come to find out he’s been dead for years??? And even worse, I just realized I’ve actually been known that like wtf???
1140
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 17h
Tea I’ve always wanted to go lmao
100
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 17h
MAINE THIS IS LITERALLY AN OPEN BOOK TEST RN LIKE THE ANSWER IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU PLEASE
2220
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 20h
Im afraid I cannot because this is a chronic affliction. My symptoms will soon return
120
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 20h
I was bedeviled by the horned but I have jacked the fuck off and now I am cured
3320
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 20h
No 🫶
010
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 21h
😘
260
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 22h
Tbh that sounds lovely?
000
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 23h
lol I still love it dw
110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 23h
You get it
010
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 23h
I love when bloomfs say I’m funny but I LOOOOOOVE when bloomfs say I’m hot
3110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 23h
You’re already getting in trouble girl? Damn
250
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 23h
Can we kiss tho
110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 23h
Congrats diva 💕
010
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 23h
Maybe if I posted pole and hole I’d feel love and admiration and maybe even fulfillment
0140
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
CAN SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING NICE TO ME TODAY PLS IM FIGHTING FOR MY FUCKING LIFE
7140
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
lol no it was $5 and looked it up just now it’s up to $10 so not bad at all and it goes to like maintaining the fort lol
110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Girl it costs $5 lol
110
Reposted by Carlos B. Eaton
Ben McAdams (The Resurrection Arc) @purrtah.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I guess I didnt really put into perspective Abbott has spent most of $106m war chest on ads and at best his race is Tilt R
113821
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
J*m B*kker is dead. Anyone wanna spit in my mouth?
3280
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Bought my outfit for Miss Universe already just to feel something
030
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Would any friends like to have sex RIGHT FUCKING NOW After the day I’ve had I could pound and be pound youknowhatimshayingggg
2130
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
YET
010
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Tag them
030
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
WELL ITS NOT ME, AMERICA
120
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Tag them
110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Also learning that it’s okay when people decide they don’t wanna be my friend like not everyone has good taste and ppl be wrong sometimes what can I do what can I say
2190
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Learning to be okay with deciding I don’t wanna be friends with someone lmao like my brain always makes me feel guilty for not vibing with someone like it’s my fault and not theirs 😭
2150
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Waterfall Squirting Squirting
ALT: Waterfall Squirting Squirting
0130
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
When I’m dead 🫶
140
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Gonna tattoo this on both my hands so I’m constantly reminded
080
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I fear in the coming winter I may need to get sluttacious
1110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Lowkey want Primetime to win Robert Pattinson an Oscar
150
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Me after visiting my parents for a week
1140
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Aka my apartment Hell, or yours, I can travel too
0300
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
YES YES YES YES YES YES
040
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Me in my nightly prayers
2151
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Yeah automatically a 0/10 I had a tree tattoo that ONE person confused for a deathly h*llows tattoo and that was enough for me to get it covered into something else immediately
030
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
SOUTH DAKOTA????
050