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Carlos B. Eaton

@someheifer.bsky.social
1.5K followers 490 following 8.4K posts

Come in, dear. Have a seat. Take off your bra if you’d like. IG -> @someheifer 🇩🇴🇵🇷 📍Chicago

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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 4h
I love my skin tone but if there’s one thing it’s gonna do is darken at the slightest hint of any inflammation
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 8h
Woke up with a pimple
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 8h
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 21h
I’ve barely skeeted today have you missed me?
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Dystopian.
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Hello Orlando
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
GUYS GUYS FROM THE BEGINNING ITS NOT ABOUT TERRITORIAL CONQUEST EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
LATINA ON A PLANE
Latina trynna serve on a United flight
4680
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Passed my semi-regular cock and ball inspection! Thanks O’Hare security 🫶
4341
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Out of office message up.
0140
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Yes. Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her SO much. It- It- The- It- Flame- Flames. Flames! On the side of my face! Breathing- Breathle- Heaving breaths. HEAVING!
2111
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Some people don’t actually want friends, they just want other people to know they have friends 🥴 👀
1130
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Me to the thought I just had
040
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I LOVE TEA I AM SIPPING TEA IT IS DELICIOUS AND PIPING HOT!!!!
0131
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I have awoken feeling horny, hungry, and hateful
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Period she really is that girl
0170
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Just won an all expenses paid trip to Poundtown
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
If I get that awful ass t*ylor sw*ft song in my head because everyone’s been using it as a meme idk what I will do perhaps I will write the governor but you will all pay for this
1130
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Yall wait whatever happened to Michelle Branch
270
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Me after leaving the poetry slam or the orgy
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Me when I’m either at a poetry slam or an orgy
170
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Arrested for the crime of being a lil cutie patootie and then sentenced to death 😭
3220
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
After that @imaaronrobert.bsky.social should change his name to Aaron B. Pounden amirite ladies
4170
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
This is really all it boils down to innit
3192
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
AHS has always sounded like it was written by AI like how are they getting TWO TIME OSCAR WINNER JESSICA LANGE to say these sloppy ass lines with a straight face
070
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
My hs book report on h*rry p*tter
070
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Sex and serial killing are on the agenda today watch this space
190
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Who’s dick do I gotta suck to suck a dick rn
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Who’s who depends on the day tho tbh
0100
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I hope the guy in the liberty mutual commercial falls into a well
0110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Whoever came up with the retort “fuck me gently with a chainsaw” really ate that
2110
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Hi everyone! I’m really looking forward to DINNER!
050
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Honestly you’re better for it Thank you @mchlmtthw.bsky.social for throwing me into this rabbit hole 🥴😩
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Oh my god he even pissed off god
0160
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I am going to eat your soul AND SHIT IT OUT LESNICKAYYYYYYYYY
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Meanwhile I’m here like welp I ran out of anything interesting to say… here’s something even less interesting that I have to say!
080
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
AAAAAAAAAAND here it is!!!! 🇵🇷
0170
Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Hey diva what mental illnesses are you diagnosed with? I’m diagnosed OCD which doesn’t make me organized at all it makes me wanna tear all my skin off and not trust any of my own thoughts! And I also have Anxiety but let’s be fr that’s probably because of the OCD.
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Can I admit something to yall? My mental health lately? It ain’t so healthy. But you know what? A bad bitch persists regardless.
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I just got home AMA I don’t need no anonymous app
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
We got it Dolly Parton is dead your band does not need to do a Jolene cover at the bar
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Today was ass divas but maybe the point of it all is
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Having a drink on the Chicago Riverwalk right by the spot where the Eastland capsized and over 800 people died
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
It is ALWAYS Glusenkamp
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
!!!!!
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Xavier*
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Bloomf is coming to Chicago but we’re not available at the same times to bang I mean hang I am devastation
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Carlos B. Eaton @someheifer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Wait do I have gay voice omg I’m going to be sick
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