THE HEAVENS—Groaning to Himself as the professionally dressed evangelists rounded the corner, the Lord God Almighty reportedly locked the gates of heaven Tuesday after spotting Mormon missionaries mil...

SPARTA, OH—Noting that her desires were becoming increasingly less subtle, local man Tommy Hull confirmed Monday that his girlfriend, Bess Glickstein, kept dropping hints about wanting a 17-hectare ma...

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SAN FRANCISCO—Promising from the bottom of his heart that everyone’s jobs are in jeopardy, WhooshSnaps.biz CEO Brian Kleppen assured employees Thursday that he’s doing everything in his power to lay p...

WASHINGTON—Promising to end what he has called a “war on public health” by the federal government, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the nominee to oversee the Department of Health and Human Services, vowed Mond...