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Snickering Dolphin

@snickeringdolphin.bsky.social
340 followers 300 following 634 posts

Expect the worst and you’ll never be disappointed. Long suffering fan of the Miami Dolphins and Seattle Seahawks, and a great cook. Like food? Let’s be friends.

PostsRepliesMedia
Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Well, he’s not at work right now because he gave himself and his colleagues another couple months of paid vacation.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Wait, you were called a fascist over a cookie? What kind of cookie? Was it oatmeal and did you bite expecting a chocolate chip but it was a 🤬raisin?
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Seriously. One of my friends teaches at a private school and can’t believe how poorly prepared many students are for high school let alone college prep classes. It’s not a “failing schools” issue, these are parents who can afford books, tutors, etc.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I have friends who are high school teachers. Compared to when we were in school, the top percentile is way better, the upper-middle similar, and below that? Abysmal. Kids who never read a book. Ever. Or can’t do grade school math. And literally cry when they can’t use a phone. We are in big trouble
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I was on a flight, turbulent af, lightning everywhere. The captain urged everyone to “strap in, we’re going to take a beating for the next 20 minutes or so…”
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
He actually cared about appearing intelligent when he was on CNN decades ago. Must’ve been those demon dogs that attacked him in his sleep.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The cigarettes were always stale. Not like we cared though.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Please tell me the woman on the front page is a Kindergarten teacher.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Yeah if only she was warned and stuff.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Um I think new recruits sincerely signed up wanting to serve, but not like this. These are young people trying to make a difference and improve their lives who couldn’t imagine 80 years of stability would disappear in a matter of months. Let’s keep things in perspective.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Wow. My mom was born in Hazelton during The Depression, it’s always been a hardworking immigrant town. Good for the residents for speaking up.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
And no one will go there because there’s no metropolitan area to support a major league team.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I’m asking about the dough. What she does with her My Pillow is her business.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I bake and what the love of god is that?
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Peacock imho is actually one of the more decent streaming services, especially for sports and movies but I hear what you’re saying. I had to hold my nose and subscribe to Fubo til February to watch NFL games.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Happy Caturday to all who celebrate! This is Winslow. He’s the sweetest dude ever who was found by Good Samaritans in a Costco parking lot as a tiny and severely dehydrated kitten. Now he’s living his best life where he’s doted on daily.
Very handsome black cat sitting on an antique buffet next to a lit jack o lantern.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
One of my friends who lives in a condo complex north of Seattle has reported Amazon drivers pooping in their landscaping.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“I only call balls and strikes”. Give me a break. He’s literally rigging the game so his team wins.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Filing a lawsuit easily cost 3x more than the $50 debt. And what a waste of the court’s time, which is paid for by taxpayers money. The only motivation was being a punitive dick to poor people.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I went to kindergarten across the street from a cemetery. When a funeral procession went by at recess the teachers made us stop playing and put our hand on our heart out of respect. Needless to say I had a lot of weird questions about death at age 5 that freaked my poor mom out.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
A 60-pound halibut in a turd costume.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Too many red flags to count with this couple. Otoh, it’s the perfect match.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
And you may stink of poop and pancake makeup.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Jesus, what’s wrong with these fools?
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Isn’t that, like, an armory?
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Not a win. Karl shat where he eats, and now he’s concerned. 😟
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I had some teens ring the doorbell at 3:30 pm and I was like wow that’s early but whatever. They then broke into these mime/martial arts moves and ran off. I yelled after them, holding a bowl of Reese cups, “Don’t you guys at least want some candy???”
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Seems like bestiality should be a disqualification for, well, every thing.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
They’re both unvaccinated?
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Remember when these nuts wanted to ban methotrexate, which is a treatment for autoimmune arthritis, because it’s used for ectopic pregnancies and they were worried women would use it for “diy abortions”? Just complete medical ignorance.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Because he’s a sports celebrity with declining athletic ability who needs attention? I dunno.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I think he should call it a night.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
No he won’t. lol
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Definitely shower. Wear clean clothes without holes, stains, missing buttons, etc. And some basic grooming like trimming nose hair, unibrows, and cleaned nails. No lady (or gentleman) is going to have time or patience for your stank.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
How much you want to bet he non-apologizes and says, “That’s not me…that’s not who I really am…” Sigh.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Mitch McConnell is so dead they made him the 2026 Betty Crocker.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Serious question, has anyone ever seen Jared and Slender Man in the same room at the same time?
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Anyone who’s had any kind of fun in college knows the metric system.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
“Celebrate”? Wtf is wrong with this guy. Besides everything.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
I also love how Fox “news” personalities making 8-figures are telling their average folk viewers how to pinch pennies at the grocery store lol.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
I’m confused. Do the ducks represent the number of times Trump’s name appeared in the Epstein files?
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Maybe, just maybe if they could have seen a doctor they’d have lived til your adulthood?
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
But the focus groups said “Democracy is on the Ballot” didn’t resonate with the voters…
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
We had wood and metal shop in school when I was a kid. And Home Ec. Boys and girls took the classes and it was great to be able to learn basic life skills like how to cook and use tools.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
I remember reading a story about Russian soldiers being fed dog food in cans relabeled “stew”. We’re not quite at that point, but between the Lincoln conditions and the import of mystery meat from an unnamed country, we are very close.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Meanwhile, we can enjoy some “affordable ground beef”.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
The guy is obsessed with manliness but he can’t go outside without his “mom-wife”.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Go into an interview for a job that pays $174k and say outright you have no experience and then brag your ignorance is a strength…
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
I grew up with a neighbor girl in the 1960s who went deaf as a baby from measles. Many of us over 60 personally knew kids who acquired life long disabilities from a childhood disease that wasn’t preventable. The idea that parents would NOT vaccinate their child was pure craziness.
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Snickering Dolphin @snickeringdolphin.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
I don’t know how she gets past the smell. Probably takes a jar of Vicks up her nose every day.
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