iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Getting closer, Universe. But it’s still the wrong 80something child-molesting right-wing asshole! I understand the confusion, because there’s so many of them. But try harder. www.politico.com/news/2026/10...

politico.com

Dennis Hastert, longtime Republican House speaker who went to prison, dies at age 84

Hastert, who was speaker from 1999 until 2007, died of natural causes at his home, according to Kendall County Coroner Jacquie Purcell.

0122

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

And none of them are on First! (I realize that 1st Street in Los Angeles never gets anywhere near the Walk of Fame, but … still)

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

So he LITERALLY brought a …

020

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I could’ve used AI to make this video. But no, instead, I used my own two hands and some free video editing apps to make this not very good-looking, cheap, juvenile joke.

030

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I am now 100% convinced that Andy Kaufman faked his own death and this is his latest prank.

001

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

This was the first ever Garfield comic strip. Now, I certainly have not read every single Garfield comic. But did it ever come up again that Jon was a cartoonist? Like, somehow even casual fans of the strip know that he’s a cartoonist, but was that ever actually relevant to a plot? To a punchline?

000

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

MY 11-YEAR-OLD (eating a salad): Why does this taste like black licorice? ME: Maybe there’s some fennel in there? 11YO: There’s fentanyl in this?!?!

040

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

So many people are going to be angry at Wordle for teaching them a new word today.

120

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Is it worth point out that same-sex bathrooms is actually the current arrangement that anti-trans people want to keep — bathrooms only for use by people of the same sex?

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Ugh. I saw a teacher (!) recently on Facebook, referring to DICKENS as writing in “olde English.” Now, he may have been being comically hyperbolic, and he may have been trying to allude to “ye olde shoppe” type verbiage, rather than the actual language of Beowulf and Company. Still concerning!

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

He was also baffled by the buffet procedure at… Ponderosa? Old Country Buffet? Hold on … yep. Ponderosa. He’s had a lot of adventures, it seems. theonion.com/tag/don-turn...

theonion.com

Don Turnbee Archives

100

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I was thinking recently how funny it is that, when he needed a name for his big scary mountain, he basically named it “big scary mountain.”

020

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I was once offered the part of the corpse in The Real Inpector Hound who lies dead and motionless during the entire play, gets up to take a bow during curtain call, and then lies back down dead as the audience leaves. I was not able to take the part.

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

One nice thing about living in Delaware County, Pennsylvania is that every time you see a big white guy with a beard you think “wait, was that Jason Kelce?”

000

Reposted by Noah Smith

Ken Tremendous @kentremendous.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

My list: 10. FOX broadcast 2004 ALCS game 4 9. FOX broadcast 2004 ALCS game 5 8. FOX broadcast 2004 WS game 1 7. FOX broadcast 2004 WS game 2 6. FOX broadcast 2004 WS game 3 5. FOX broadcast 2004 ALCS game 6 4. FOX broadcast 2004 WS game 4 3. The Wire 2. Sopranos 1. FOX broadcast 2004 WS game 4

252388

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Just a bit troubled by the 59% who favor a military coup.

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Happy Batman Day! It’s a stretch to call this a “story” and it’s heavily edited from what I first wrote (it was way too long and complex) but it’s a sequence of events in Batman’s life and it’s published and I sort of wrote it. And I’m proud of that.

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Crazy indeed, good sir. variety.com/2026/film/ne...

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I hope Carrot Top recovers physically and emotionally because … well because I hope anyone in his situation does. Plus, I actually do think he could do some pretty good dark prop comedy about how he attempted his attempt.

000

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Watched the last episode of season one of The Studio this morning and I’m watching Knocked Up tonight. So it’s been a full day of Seth Rogen on mushrooms in Las Vegas.

000

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Sorry to hear about Duncan Sheik passing. It’s always sad when a person dies young. Even more so when the title of their biggest hit single is going to lead to some very tacky jokes.

000

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I did once have a character in a play address his sister as “oh beloved sister of mine,” but that was to show A) the character was the kind of guy who talked like that. B) this young man and this young woman who just arrived on stage together are not a romantic couple. Still clumsy. I was 22.

000

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

One of my pet peeves in scripted fiction is characters addressing their siblings as “sis” or “bro” for the purposes of clumsy exposition. For one thing, I don’t think anybody ever really called their sister “sis.” And for another, everybody calls everybody bro now.

100

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Ironically, this is very close to being the name of the last surviving member of the Monkees.

020

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Today I learned that Rachel Robinson, academic, activist, philanthropist, and widow of Jackie Robinson is still alive at the age of 103. Wow! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rachel_...

en.wikipedia.org

Rachel Robinson - Wikipedia

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Four years ago today, this tweet became the only time I ever truly went viral at the old place. Really got it in under the wire before the whole thing went to hell.

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Now hearing that the Electric Shoes have pulled out of the Ed Sheeran tour, so their rhythm guitarist can spend more time with Paul and Winnie.

010

Reposted by Noah Smith

Popcornbender Spatch @spatch.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Now hearing that Jessie Spano has pulled out of the Ed Sheeran tour, citing overexcitement and exhaustion.

static.klipy.com

Jessie Spano: I'm So Excited!

Alt: Jessie Spano hollers "I'm So Excited!" while AC Slater looks on, concerned

051

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

“Mr. Patel, could you make a face to give us some idea what someone might look like when they are being forced into bestiality?”

000

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Just had a proud father moment. I’m watching one of the X-Men movies with my 12 year-old. Mystique just walked right past the person who she was imitating, who saw perfect doppelgänger of himself, and my kid said “Duck Soup!”

020

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Suddenly I don’t have access to Wordlebot anymore? Did you pick this date so we couldn’t complain without seeming petty, @nytimes.com ?

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I know the reference is a deep cut, both to one particular episode of The Odd Couple and to Lysistrata. But I promise it’s REALLY clever. I’m a VERY clever big boy.

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I cowrote this book, which sadly lacks this joke. I can’t remember if I submitted it and it was rejected, or if I came up with it after it was too late to add more: Why did the 13-year-old girl help Batgirl at the synagogue? It was her Bat Mitzvah. www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Of...

simonandschuster.com

The Official DC Super Hero Joke Book

Knock, knock. Who's there? DC super heroes telling a slew of hilarious jokes, puns, riddles, and more. What does Superman use to cook eggs? A pan ...

042

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I recently referred to a couple I know as living a “DINK boho” life together. And, while I think it’s pretty accurate, it’s a little weird to sum up their relationship with something that sounds like the name of a minor Star Wars character with a passionate fan following.

000

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Mitch McConnell is so dead he didn’t cry when the man stopped drawing the deer.

000

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

The year is 2056. Senators from Americachussetts, Amerisota, and Alabamerica suggest that maybe all this re-naming is getting confusing. They are summarily executed on the senate floor.

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I mean, just having knuckles in his sphincter is impressive enough!

130

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Oh! Sorry! I had forgotten it was called Death Rattle.

000

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

The Pickwick triplets song from Only Murders in the Building. The songs from “Oh, Streetcar!” on the Simpsons. You get a few bars of Joey singing a song in a musical where he plays Sigmund Freud on a Friends episode.

100

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Can we figure out now, ahead of time, how we’ll handle it when it finally happens and we’re celebrating in the streets, how we’ll honor all the good people who didn’t get to live to see the glorious day? www.huffpost.com/entry/gloria...

huffpost.com

Feminist Icon Gloria Steinem Dead At 92

“Steinem passed away peacefully at her home in New York City, surrounded by some of the many who loved her,” her foundation said in a statement.

000

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

In my head, I was pronouncing the letter like “chai” (the tea, not the unrelated Hebrew word). I had totally forgotten it’s pronounced like the first name of NPR’s Kai Ryssdal. Still kicking myself a bit about that.

010

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Mea culpa: when I wrote this Star Wars parody www.concordtheatricals.com/p/99555/star... I said that my version of Finn had the military designation Chi Pi, so he winds up going by “Chip.” That works on paper, but not really out loud.

concordtheatricals.com

Star Stars: The Franchise Awakens | Concord Theatricals

Long, long ago, in a theater near you, there was a saga that thrilled generations of moviegoers - but then the dark time came, and the prequels depressed the galaxy

100

Noah Smith @smithnoah.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Just a reminder, once again that I am not Noah Smith the economist who just said that stupid thing. I am a different Noah Smith. I also say stupid things, but they’re usually about the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or the Muppets, or fast food or something.

6682