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Smams

@smams.bsky.social
2K followers 915 following 16K posts

Notable adult Pedant is spelled "peh-dunt" It's not a pepe, it's its own frog 1 like = 1 smam I couldn't decide between my snappy one-liner bios, so I put them all

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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 10h
If you start every post with "I am under attack" You can- Oh god! They've breached the-!
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Puff 🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈 @puffyapple.bsky.social · 11h
Art of me trying to microwave Smams. There's a text bubble of my tiger fursona saying "Aw man. There's no Smams setting on this thing". His little frog character is just a face with glasses with a text bubble thats just the screenshot of the Google search bar saying "synonym for microwave"
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 11h
USE EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF MICROWAVE TIME AS EFFICIENTLY AS POSSIBLE. If your microwave isn't FULL of heatable items you are WASTING precious MICROWAVES!!!!
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Puff 🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈 @puffyapple.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I love my boyfriend
Art of my fursona dressed up like a mad-scientist doctor thing flipping a switch to a zapper device thats meant to zap frog smams. He's strapped to like a dentist chair and he's saying "I'm in a precarious situation" as the electric bolts are moments away from electrocuting him. I'm also waving at him and going :3
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Bumper sticker that reads: "I peaked in the spelling bee"
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
My favorite Duncan Trussel clip is him breathlessly describing his new cartoon project to his ostensible best buddy Joe Rogan. Joe's comments amount to "Yeah It looks soooo crazy..." and when Duncan excitedly asks if he's seen it Joe replies "No!".
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
TCG: "This unopened bag of doritos has an unknown, perhaps *inifinite* amount of cool ranch flavoring inside... My asking price? Don't be foolish, if you have to ask you can't afford it."
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The last unicorn? What about the one unicorn among many? The banality of the average unicorn in a sea of unicorn?
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Arugula, also known as "Salad Rocket"
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Sea Scøpe @seascope27.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Credit Carp
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Peptide Stu @nbagagortion.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Every time you visit the house there is a "entertainment room" dedicated to one thing and one thing only but it changes every time. Last time it was a lone sega genesis loaded with "cool spot" plugged into a floor CRT in the center of the carpet. This time it is a hot dog.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
Acetomenaphin should be be induced into my bloodstream by gnomes hourly so I never feel sick again
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
envisage? Yeah I tend to make those sages envious. Not my fault their prognostications can't divine the fate of the kingdom. Envisage these nuts.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Hashtag wet but drying
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Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Pen and watercolor. Two fools wander through an open field. The tall one dressed in a carrot costume and the short one dressed in an apple costume. Their hands are out to their sides to maintain balance. Carrot speaks, “You feel the ground shaking?” In the distance, we see a massive herd of wild horses thundering towards them. Hooves pound the ground racing to carrot and apple. By the time our boys realize their mistake it could be too late. Where are they going? Why wander dressed as horse treats? Things to consider. Artist’s note: Most of my drawings are black & white and I tend to use color sparingly. Hilary Knight, the illustrator of the Eloise books, is a big influence on both my linework and color use.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
sperm retention freak who holds an open casket funeral for each of his 80000000 sperm that came out during a wet dream.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Guy who hasn't heard of the west coast, and is incredulous that it's a real place: "oh yeah? and if this place is real, then surely you have somewhere you vacation?... Oh the mountains sure, and what are these mountains called exactly?"
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Don't ask me to ride at dawn until I've had my coffee
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Straight up G-in it. And by "it" lets justr say... My PS
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
America really happy so flags are at 1.5x mast. :)
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
what if charlie kirk was on our lawn, and he got pea shotter in the neck until his head popped off (not gettin our brains today, rapscallion)!
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
@SoliSolstice

what blows my mind about everybody neglecting human experiences in favor of being on their phone 14 hours a day is that like 95% of you suck at being on the phone. can’t post for shit, 100 unread wikipedia articles in your tabs, getting groomed on discord. you are not good at it
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Bind the artifact to thy soul with but a single drop of blood and thou shalt divine thy fate and longevity
Elizabeth Holmes as a dark wizard
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
werewolf ate my homework. Yes the werewolf is also me. Sure I retain some awareness but it's not that much.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
A four panel comic in which a moth flies out of a wallet, and then another moth flies into the wallet. Net zero moths.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
moth girl who leaves you bereft and peniless so she can surprise you later by fluttering out of your wallet
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
*I open my wallet to reveal a moth which flies out but then at that precise moment another, different moth flies back in keeping my moth levels roughly stable*
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Puff 🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈 @puffyapple.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
My D&D character is AWESOME and COOL and definitely not a LOSER
Art I made using colored pencils an pen of my Arcane archer fighter named Doriah. She's an anthropomorphic bearded vulture (Rito) wearing leather armor and bone jewelry and also she has a cool epic badass scar.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
While participating in an elementary school choral rendition of Katy Perry's "Firework" I remember thinking, perhaps not in these words but in this sentiment: "Surely we are capable of bettter things"
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
No! Not My dubious collection of metal and plastic!
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
It's fine that you said that wierd thing, my psychic resistance outpaces your damage scaling
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
boneless tums
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Chopping your pork ✅ Porking your chop ❌
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Armed society is polite society. Can't shake hands with no arms.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Just because two fruits are the same color does not mean they are a pleasing flavor combo
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Puff 🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈 @puffyapple.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
And this folks is the smams exhibit! You might think it's small and sus but he actually likes it that way. He also likes it when you throw peanut shells at him as well!
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Now that I've got my ducks in a row I can't fathom for what reason I would need water birds arranged in such a manner.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
me (a gamergater) when my new shoes are hurting my feet on account of them being new: "I sure wish these shoes would go woke soon..."
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Puff 🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈 @puffyapple.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Rabbids are spawn of Yakub
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Spriter Gors @gors.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
The I just wanna grill for god's sake meme, except the man is at a Mahjong table with a mahjong tile in hand and saying "I just wanna Ron for god's sake"
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headfallsoff @headfallsoff.com · 28/08/2026
if you're a normal person please do not play the fucking strip mahjong game. do not let the fun and friendly appeal of something as inoffensive as pornography trick you into playing a game as evil as mahjong
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
HEARTBREAKING: Local anime girl went chibi while standing in waist high water; drowned instantly.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
Fucko is about to fly or whatever. Ok
Cool waterbird atop a dead tree. The bird is extending its wings, about to fly.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
They DESTROYED my ginger ALES!!
Five ginger ales with the bottoms blown out 🥵
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
To gain access to my paying me money subscribe to paying me money
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Guy who knows that drinking water is good for you: "hello, I see you have contracted the plague, have you considered drinking water?"
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Made solicited editorial suggestions to someone's work and they appreciated the feedback!!!
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
They should make a service for people who want to try out objecting to a wedding. Like, we'll do all the wedding stuff and then you'll object to it at this point and then a whole drama will play out for you.
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Smams @smams.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
There are two appropriate situations for "O' Fortuna": Peggle, and pegging
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