iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 17h

A reminder: If the Yankees win, Satan wins.

Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I’m an atheist, so you know I’m serious when I offer a prayer. Here goes: “O, Balk, God of baseball, please bless the Texas Rangers and curse the Astros. O, Balk, thou knowest that the Astros are cheaters and are thus undeserving of a division win. Amen and play ball!” Yeah. I’m superstitious. 🤪

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I think a good investment right now would be in the companies that make gas station signs. They need to add a digit.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Which one of you upset Door? Listen to me, please. Door is very fragile and certain conduct can alarm Door. Whoever alarmed Door should be shamed and embarrassed. Don’t let this happen again, you weirdos! I’m going now to buy Door a hot cocoa for the nerves.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

You want to know what I miss? I miss a boring government. I don’t want to go to bed worrying about what these idiots might do overnight. Stability is a good thing. My blood pressure might even go down with sane policies (foreign and domestic.) let’s do something to help Tim here sleep more soundly.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

If your ad for a prescription medication mentions the perineum more than once, I don’t think I want it. Taint cancer is not my thing. I got enough aggravation.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Something has been troubling me. Iran is not allowed to possess nuclear weapons but, North Korea, never mind about them. Why do they get a pass, exactly? They’re both aligned with China and Russia. Both are nuclear powers. One is an Islamic Republic and the other is Communist. What’s the difference?

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

I’ve lived in Texas all my 56 years. Here’s what I see with the Senate race here. This will be short and sweet: Talarico supports trans rights. Paxton protects child molesters. I know who I’d rather vote for. There is more, but those two issues are the ones they’re slinging at each other r/n.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I keep hearing about the Houthis, but I never hear about the blowfish anymore. I hope they’re ok. The blowfish, I mean.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I keep getting unsolicited text messages from Ken Paxton’s campaign. Rather than replying “stop” I want to say that Paxton can eat a bag of dicks. The only thing is that I doubt anyone reads those replies. This Paxton guy is the most vile piece of shit anyone can imagine.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I rewatched a “NOVA” episode asking the question, “Can Dogs Talk?” I believe that the answer is a qualified “yes.” Some dogs can. Others are not that intelligent. Anecdotally, our late dog, Ruby, seemed to understand full sentences. For instance, “Go get the octopus toy from the bedroom.” She did it

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

My wife thinks I should go on a game show to make us some money. I don’t think it’s necessarily a good idea because many people find me unpalatable I might win because, you know, trivia, but here’s how I see it going:

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

It’s nearly midnight in my time zone. I’m remembering where I was 25 years ago. Some of you reading this might not have even been born yet. If you remember where you were then, please share if you wish. I’ll tell you my story as briefly as possible.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I think it would be swell if we had phone booths in public places again. Not the kind from decades ago, but just little soundproof booths with charging stations and chairs so that other people don’t have to hear someone else’s conversations at full volume on speaker.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I finally got my shit together and now, I forgot where I put it. How are you doing?

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Last night my wife decided to make a nice baked fish for dinner. It was delicious. I asked her what kind of fish it was and she went on and on about its origins and how it can swim in salt and fresh water, etc. I said, “I asked what time it is and you told me how to build a watch.”

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

My wife asked me earlier about yams vs sweet potatoes. I said I thought they were the same thing, but I looked it up and lo, and behold, they are different. All this time I never thought to differentiate them. I guess I learned something new today. I think I’ve earned a nap.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Everyone should believe something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

In my nearly 50 years of “Star Wars” fandom, I’ve noticed the Stormtrooper armor doesn’t do a damned thing. Why can’t it reflect or deflect blaster bolts? I’ve also never seen a toilet in any “Star Wars” movie or television series. “We’ll have to wait on the jump to hyperspace. I gotta take a shit.”

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Sunday, I had to take down our bird feeder because it started attracting at least one rat. I’m thinking that if I mount it on a surface that rodents can’t climb, like a brick wall, maybe that could mitigate the problem. Anyone have any experience with this issue? Previously, the feeder was on a tree

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Chicken purse? I guess this is a thing now?

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Happy September, all you glorious individuals! Here’s an appropriate song to start your Tuesday. youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk?...

youtu.be

Earth, Wind & Fire - September (Official HD Video)

YouTube video by EarthWindandFireVEVO

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Can anyone explain the appeal of ordering a giant cookie with pizza? If I want something savory, I’ll get savory. If I want sweet, I’ll get sweet, but that’s pretty rare.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Man, those fuckers who came up with “Bluey” must be printing money right now. Australian money. Let that part sink in. Their money is translucent and it’s printed on plastic!

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Beast Mode: Unavailable. Sounds about right.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

@sophianyx.bsky.social What do you consider to be the best love song? You like to ask the questions but you never answer them. I like “Always on my Mind” by Willie Nelson.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Everyone gather round. I have a singular message and it applies to every single one of you. You are OK. You are loved. Live in peace and prosperity.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

I’ve long said that I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like dogs. I very much distrust people who dogs don’t like.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Tony Romo has an estimated net worth of $80 million. I find it hard to believe he couldn’t afford an Uber. I don’t have anywhere near that amount of money, but I’ve asked bartenders to call me a taxi. They always obliged. Happy to do it.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

If you could create a Venn diagram of Lenny Kravitz and Yogi Berra it would be “It ain’t over till it’s over.”

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

My nephew’s birthday is coming up and I thought I might send him some treats (cookies and such). Why is the company selling the treats making it so onerous to buy something? Are they allergic to money? I would say, “You want to give me money? Cool!” Not, “Now fill out all these forms!” Madness.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I want to say something about drag queens. Don’t worry. This is positive. My wife grew up without a mother. Her dad was an attorney that defended a lot of people on 1A issues including homosexuals having the right to do whatever. Some of his clients, gay men who were drag queens, acted as a

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

Yesterday, I went to jury duty. I dressed business casual, and I didn’t get picked. I asked myself, “Did I shave my balls for this?” Also, I’ll add that it’s bullshit when they charge you for parking when you’re required to come to the courthouse for jury duty. It was only $3 but still…

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

Let’s make a list of things Donald Trump has never done: (feel free to add) Never learned to drive a vehicle above a golf cart. Never bought groceries in a store. Never cooked with any of his wives. Never washed a dish. Never played with his children or grandchildren. There’s more. Pile on.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Random thought: are you better with names or faces? I seem to be better with faces.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

I hope all of you who can see this appreciate how often I censor myself. There are quite a few weird thoughts in my brain. I drank a shot of that Willie Nelson THC drink. I’m mellow, but having weird thoughts. Which animal is more dangerous? Hippo or Mosquito? That’s not even the weirdest one.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

You know what’s weird? We are seeing storms moving from east to west. I don’t recall ever seeing that before. It’s always been west to east. Something is different.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Want to know what’s grinding my gears right now? Tuesday. That’s right. Tuesday. This is the day that trash and recycling are picked up in our neighborhood. It’s always my duty. He he. Doody. I just took them out, washed my hands and I’m kind of fuming about my doody. It’s not a real big deal.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

It’s fun when these things line up.

Human talking about ICE Agents could be killed and more atrocities will happen. Endless screaming screams.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

You know what’s weird about the World Cup trophy? It’s a bunch of hands reaching for a ball. What’s the one part of your body you’re not supposed to use in this sport? Right? Unless you’re the goalkeeper, but still…

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Real or fictional, who is the best Ryan? It could be any of the following or your own choice: Meg Ryan Private Ryan Ryan Gosling Ryan Reynolds etc. You get the idea. Feel free to post your own. Happy Sunday! ✌️

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

My wife and I cannot disagree on a house. We both want basically the same things. How in the hell are we going to be cast on “House Hunters?”

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

I just watched this episode of “Dateline” where a woman was shot in the face. She survived. Lost her left eye. After her recovery she thanked Jesus. How how about thanking the doctors? Spoiler alert! The husband hired some dipshits to do the job. He’s in jail.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

@texas-rangers.bsky.social Any of you guys who follow this account know what’s going on with RSN abruptly switching from Victory+ to this half baked Bzzr thing? I know that it’s Friday and the game is on channel 33, but I don’t feel that much better. I’m sure the whole thing is about fees.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

You want to know what’s grinding my gears? ABC said they wouldn’t broadcast the speech tonight. You know the one. Anyway, we were watching “Press Your Luck” and the fuckers preempted the show halfway through. Why? Just put it on your “news” channel. Can’t a motherfucker just watch a game show?

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

The over/under for the World Cup semi-final game is 2.5 total goals scored. Do I take the over or the under? I need to call my bookie. This is time sensitive! 🤪

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

I like it when things like this line up in my timeline.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Keep your chins up, everyone. Willie Nelson is still alive and kicking at 93 years old.

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Call me Tim @slimjimtx.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Regarding Lindsey Graham, I don’t have any strong feelings either way. I’m not happy. I’m not sad. I’m “meh.” They say that these things happen in threes. Please make Putin next.

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