iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

no don’t TELL me, I was just curious if anyone knows

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does anyone know what everyones mad about

But even then, there’s the non-question that hangs in suspension in the air, the fact that at any time I ~could~ reach back out and attempt to re-open lines of communication but simply *won’t*. There was a whole global pandemic and we didn’t reconnect, what the fuck could even do what that didn’t?

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Admittedly, some of this is a bit of an “Am I Just Projecting My Experience Onto Others” thing, because my parents removed themselves from my life, of their own volition, in a way that somewhat blessedly unambiguous: early 20s, unilateral (no attempt at negotiation), fully no-contact, etc

There is some sincere sociological curiosity that comes up for me with these things, where I always wonder what an actually-rigorous journalistic approach to this question might reveal about Gen X/Boomer parents’ approach to managing relationships (or lack of any such sincere effort to do so)

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Worn out discourse but there are some interesting editorial developments here, particularly the choice to depict the allegedly beleaguered aging parents as weird balloon-heads, devoid of the agency that having a body would afford them, and the dek’s immediate retreat into Exonerative Tense phrasing

New insipid editorial from wsj

Many experts believe that estrangements are becoming an epidemic, driven by shifting family norms and changing therapy practices.

Why Are So Many Adults Cutting Off Their Parents?

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How ironic that “well, we just need some time to grieve” is often family members’ to a trans person requesting to be treated with a modicum of dignity. Perhaps the fairest response might be “as do I, what of it?” Little wonder that dissociative symptoms are so comorbid with “gender dysphoria”

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Unrelated thought but: ‘my god, why hast thou abandoned me’ can be read in context as a sort of dissociative utterance, which kind of tracks with the contemporary conflation of dissociation with the freeze response and with the ragdoll-limp affect of the mouse in the jaws of the cat

(see, for instance: debates about the theoretical validity of ‘histrionic’ and ‘borderline’ as structures or even disorders of personality; the argument that all ‘cluster-B’ styles, as issues of attachment, are best understood via dissociation; discussion of the role of dissociativity in ADHD, etc)

The upper limit and maybe the best indicator of the problematique / space in which this discourse is being contested are theoretical debates about which symptoms/defenses AREN’T fundamentally dissociative processes by nature of their causative, functional and subjective characteristics

(This is to say little of the forms of denial mobilized in defense of the particular institutions which handle the brunt of the traumatizing)

namely: that the degree and prevalence of traumagenic symptoms in the population at large is something that CANNOT be acknowledged in full because it would require acknowledging the sheer prevalence, scale, and systematized regularity that the traumatization of children happens in our society

That’s a maybe a little ornate of an argument for my personal taste but it lands [partly because she’s very intelligent and fairly personable but also] because it echoes a somewhat more grounded sentiment I’ve heard from other people—

Nancy McWilliams has this pithy argument she usually manages to work in any time she talks about dissociation at length, basically positioning widespread skepticism toward the POSSIBILITY of DID as a societal transference mirroring the denial of one’s own trauma which precedes dissociative defenses

I think dissociation is often the analgesic of necessity for pain which must by necessity be disowned (THAT part is uncontroversial consensus), and that in many cases the REASONS some individuals are compelled to disown grief+pain are deeply social+relational

I’ve been thinking a lot about dissociativities, and a bit about the possibility of a eusociativity

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What if I changed my avi to a Character Who is Actually Canonically a Girl for once for exactly 24 hours before changing it back to a DIFFERENT he/him character that is ALSO coded as a Destroying Angel / Knight-Retainer. haha just kidding

Bryn @slimewave.me · 22/09/2026

What did you mean by “one of the sexy ghosts?” Elaborate on that

Bryn @slimewave.me · 22/09/2026

There’s bound to be A ghost at the back of your closet No matter where you live

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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 14/05/2026

saw this on an ACT UP poster from 1988 at the Poster House museum today. the more things change :)

THE REPUBLICANS WANT IS DEAD
THE DEMOCRATS DONT CARE

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Bryn @slimewave.me · 18/09/2026

As a former Kid With Bad Vibes,

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Bryn @slimewave.me · 18/10/2024

I GET SICK WHEN I GET STONED, EVERYTHING WE DO WE DO IT ALLLOOOONE

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Bryn @slimewave.me · 18/09/2026

I know that “make them scared into acting right” is a broadly fascistic thought pattern but on the other hand, putting the specter of possible future reprisal by grown children into parents’ heads is really just a counterbalance to the implied thread of filicide that underlies all familial affairs

Bryn @slimewave.me · 18/09/2026

Sometimes I feel (I don’t actually THINK that this would be a workable policy solution but I FEEL) that any society which declared an inalienable right to parricide would experience a generational quantum leap in social progress

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yаna @ghola.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Are you a "calm woman"? Everything you need to know about the calm woman trend taking the internet by storm

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lxigh @dotorion.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

99% of ruminators quit right before they would have had a life-changing epiphany

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Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 12/09/2026

Two che’s in heaven

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The genitally-fixated slant is a siren call that pulls both reader and writer away from taking this seriously here, as demonstrated by the fact that halimede has previously written more coherently re dysphoria-qua-feminized-subjectivity as a ubiquitous but highly varied experience under patriarchy

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In either case it’s an oddly undercooked engagement with a thesis I actually think DOES have legs, namely “Gender Dysphoria is an appallingly unrigorous and painfully artificial construct that ultimately undermines effective analysis of subjective experience and communication of material needs”

Unfortunately, the joke falls catastrophically flat here. Just does not land.

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This has the vague contours of a really good bit-character-based joke with the dramatic irony that the audience sees the internal inconsistency of a tragicomedic character who is twisting herself in logically-inconsistent knots because she can’t acknowledge why she’s so invested.

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And then to segue from that into a “cosmetic surgery is fine of course I just don’t think you should alter the intimate parts of your body that aren’t public-facing anyway” argument that doesn’t examine implications for eg ‘finding community with women’ through swimming-as-a-hobby as mentioned prior

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And simultaneously too subtle in its riffs, relying on unexplicated ironic hypocrisy to deliver what might otherwise be conceptually sound jokes: using a ‘cis woman who likes swimming but has to get over dysphoric feels about her shoulders’ analogy is so loaded it feels like it HAS to be deliberate…

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Assuming the former read (bit-character) I feel like the bit has become both too hackneyed (“I don’t have it [as in the condition she sometimes just calls ‘transgender’]” is low-effort and come on, ‘PLSPLSPLS dont get the surgery’ is so on the nose—you have to really commit to something like that)..

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Read the stupid halimede thing that you animals won’t stop talking about. Surprisingly juiceless. Doesn’t hit as hard for me in some register of “bit-character sock-puppeted by a trans woman confirmed” or “Not Remotely a Bit Confirmed” or whatever else people are claiming it reads unambiguously as

Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 11/09/2026

Why is it kinda giving 2004 i-D magazine Smith College photo series

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It’s been 53 years since the US backed military coup of Allende’s government in Chile. A democratically elected socialist was attacked. the fascist Pinochet took power and then tortured, arrested and killed socialists and teachers and labor leaders around the country. youtu.be/IZVWOWA2Hpk?...

youtu.be

Allende's Last Words: The First 9/11

YouTube video by PlasticPills

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Bryn @slimewave.me · 03/09/2026

Which was followed up by “I feel like the absolute defeat of psychoanalysis and the study of the mind by Big Wire Mother and its descendants might have had a lot more to do with the Reagan-era reification of the individual than like, any of the normal explanations you would hear in psych 101”

Bryn @slimewave.me · 03/09/2026

I’m mushing a lot of things together for the sake of narrative so if you feel like you got the gist you probably did (insofar as there WAS one) but basically this all just grew out of the thought “all of this Attachment theory stuff is basically just white-labeled Freud and not in a bad way at all”

The fact that this sort of outlook is moving from the peripheral applications in eg family therapy—applications where it was an unfortunate reality that couldn’t be excised—toward a more mainstream understanding of individual behavior is evidence that it’s becoming harder to ignore

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I think it’s hard to not see the whole paradigmatic turn from mid-century behaviorism through the DSM 4 as a protracted reaganite heel-turn, a reification of the sublimely self-causative individual and a repression of any acknowledgment that ‘functioning’ is a thing that’s done in concert

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But I think that the influence of feminist critics in the latter-20th c decline of psychoanalysis is routinely overstated in this regard. Frankly, the not-incorrect theories that drug companies tilted diagnosis toward creating problems they could sell solutions to is even an unimaginative ‘cui bene’

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The psych 101 narrative about all of this is that Freud’s cokehead fantasies were mostly tedious projections of his own outsize mommy issues, and that what ensued was a slurry of unfalsifiable claims and ‘mommy-blaming’.

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that is, a lot of what’s being ‘discovered’ in the public consciousness is actually just a turn back to the foundational psychoanalytic insight that our early attachments shape personality structure and that our subjectivity exists very much in relation to our ways of relating to others