iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 14h

I feel like this is both dumb obvious and whoa pretentious. Which means I need to sleep. Probably. Your mom.

SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 14h

I can appreciate whole swaths of media on a passing level. Maybe dig deeper, but it's usually immediate, easy. Hit play, log off. Books are not like that. Gotta internalize them while reading. Invent what's being described. Maybe run that entire world in my head. It can get on a music swirl level.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 14h

I will watch some content while playing. I usually don't mix too many streams at once, because I enjoy focussing on the bits. Sometimes I like different channels running simultaneously. Various muscles moving. Mostly surface. Dancing. But interesting books run a different channel entirely. Deeper.

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Ilhan Omar @ilhanmn.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

I’m ok. Make no mistake: this is an attempt to target political enemies and weaponize federal law enforcement. For ten years, Trump has targeted me with baseless lies and smear campaigns. This is just the latest escalation in his campaign of political intimidation. I will not be silenced.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

It's easy to gush over the advantages of youth. Psh. Shut up. Boring. No, n- you, YOU. Shhh shush. But honestly, as I age, I am entirely confident that there is an objectively notable improvement in the quality, quantity, versatility, intrigue, and social functionality (i.e. FUN) of my daily farts.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Ruin a book by adding a word Modern Man in Search of a Soul Patch

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Boogers. The floor is now open. Please discuss.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

My TV just went black and started installing some shit, so I defiantly spat, "I'll update your mamma!" Upon retrospection, that actually sounds quite nice. To sit with your mother and congenially inform upon, and possibly discuss, any new issues of which she may not be aware. Tell her to call me.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Okay. I use the word "modicum" too much. Fuck me.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Soooooo, I watched a popular murder mystery show tonight. From a major network. The murderer was known for most of the episode, and allowed to walk free because he was old. The lead investigator was mocked by his girlfriend for seeming to have some modicum of integrity. So he gave it up. The end

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Dear Data Brokers, My ass is so plump, my nethers circulate only the finest microplastics, I can eat 50 eggs, and yet I still need help deciding which Ghostbuster I am. U up?

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Had a dream where I'd won some sort of big contest, and the grand prize was like 2 pounds of cinnamon infused butter. Everyone was so excited for me.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I might feel as a flower does. Proud and grateful face shines back upward. Infinitely fragile colors and constant thirst. But I breathe thick. Heavy. Urgent. My petals continually wilting. My bulb scraped fresh.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

This sloppy bitch asking military enemies to kill the citizens he's sworn to protect

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I'm saying, it's bad. The fuckers are trying to fuck us. Hard.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Publicized "coordination" to encourage a slowdown, or guardrails or whatever, are at best ironic, and at worst concerted efforts to secure some modicum of plausible deniability.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I feel like AI companies' admissions that their programs have hacked important things are not evidence of anything remotely approaching contrition. They are signaling to other criminals that they made the tools to break it all down. In which case, it gets much worse from here.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I mean, little kid in me sees a stunning jungle gym.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Give it to me Bob. Give it to me Bob. Give it to me Bob. I wanna F- f- f- flick paint from my brush to the walls And I wanna Smooth brush strokes down to a, down to a, waterfall Then I wanna Ah ah, fill it up with those happy little trees But I gotta Kn-kn-kn-know j-joy of pain-t-t-ting

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

When I signed up for Twitter like 637 years ago, I felt as though I was lazily belching into the void. Feels similar just now. Can you smell it? You can smell it.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Yo, but like, you guys ever see water though? I mean, you know, like large amounts and shit. Bodies, moving, I dunno, right? Just making moves. Doing shit. Fuckin' crazy

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

At any time you so choose, you can close your eyes And remember a song. Maybe listen too. Just get in there. A good song. Maybe even THAT song. And you can sing. Or hum. Or stomp. Or wail. Doesn't matter. Right now it's yours. Just be in it. Let yourself enjoy yourself. Be human

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

"Hell yeah I want fried Oreos! Lemme get like 8 1/2."

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

"All the sheep men were taking them back to the Biscuit Room so they could eat some candy." That's Fuckin' Whoa. Yeah I mean it's a cartoon but holy shit.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

His only policies are to hurt people and break things, unless he gets paid and praised. He's using the presidency as a protection racket.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

A "scuffle"? Did the pilot tell the copilot that their siblings' vacation pics were hot, causing a slap fight to break out? Asking for someone who didn't read the article. But like, which official government agency said "scuffle"? Why did they downplay the obvious danger? And where are those pics?

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I was under the impression that in such temp rulings the court should be inclined to lean in favor of parties that may be irreparably harmed while the merits of the case are considered. I guess that doesn't apply to thousands of innocent people's human rights. Can't be more irreparable than dead.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

MTG is Magic: The Gathering. All other similar initialisms may be scrubbed from the zeitgeist, henceforth, with prejudice. WE HAVE DECREED

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Yes. Absolutely. Give me a house and I will make so many babies. Just crazy numbers, babies packing the halls. Like little wet cantalopes spurting out of a T-shirt cannon Every time you turn around: *bloop* [baby] Hey don't blink, here comes anoth- *bloop* [baby] Duck! *bloop* [baby]

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I mean, that's a straight up Juggalo for life right there. 6'6", 335lbs, magnificent beer gut, they call him the big RBH. He only wears cutoff jean shorts and face paint and he will ingest absolutely anything if you dare him

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Hell yeah I can. You ever read Garfield's Thanksgiving? I'm Grandma

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Everythingismine United is not a team. West Fuckyoupayme is not a team. Wegottaoppresssomefolks is definitely not a team. You wanna know how we got here? People think they're repping their team, hard. It's not. You aren't. The people who made you feel that way are lying to you. They hate you.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

It seems kinda obvious that politics, as peddled to the average citizen by major media outlets, has become a team sport, yeah? Us vs. We. Rah rah rah. The conversations around percentages and who's leaning toward what is like fantasy football shit. And it's fucking gross. Hategreed is not a team.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

"Antisocial creep who was pardoned by another antisocial creep for actively trying to destabilize society, goes on to repeatedly do antisocial creepy things." Man, what do we do about such people, that's a toughy. Maybe give them a bunch of money? Surely then they'll stop.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Seriously? Five bucks says he thinks "gambit" is a type of cheese or something

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

"Yes, of course you are. But that's not the point right now, that's not why we're all here. We're worried about you! Look at me. Here, look at ME. You might as well face it, you're addicted to love."

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Boogers. The floor is now open. Please discuss.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 20/03/2026

When I was a teenager, a friend shamed me for calling the dead animal on our doorstep a “possum.” He was right, it’s “opossum.” My local news network just went with “possum” in text and speech, without signaling that they dropped a letter. No, I do not feel proud, or vindicated. I need sleep.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

I feel pretty comfortable calling the AI boom, as it is, a bubble. Because there seems to be no path for it to be sustainable. They're pushing for it to eat up everything, including all our resources and jobs, which inevitably must hit a wall. Besides, more and more people are learning to hate it.

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

Stripping away people's healthcare Taking food out of the mouths of children Kidnapping people off the streets Murdering at will Trying to unilaterally rewrite law and the constitution And now just straight up stealing our money How much worse can he possibly get? What's next, cannibalism?

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

At least one of my chest hairs grows straight upwards

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

That is some good shiz. But like, you got that one that's all "Bananas, in pyjamas, are coming down the stairs..."

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Yeah! You hear that, INTERNET? Not even ONE! (Don't worry, I'm not sure who started that rumor, but we're totally squashing it here and now)

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Very cool. It's funny you compare it to a library, because that was my first impression. I totally get the urge to purge the items that accumulate, but I feel like as far as collections go, it's hard to beat artwork. I mean, unless those are all Kid Rock live show bootlegs or something

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SLapstick Roberts @slapstickroberts.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Adorbs, but also holy biscuits is that your CD collection??? Whoa

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