Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 13/09/2026I can't tell if I actually have free time, or if I'm just forgetting to do a bunch of shit. 010
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 11/09/2026I never tried to outrun a cop car before, but if this car comes up behind me, I just might take my chances. Is it still considered a high speed chase if I am only doing like 30 MPH? 001
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 06/09/2026If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, why the hell do they list 4 other ingredients? 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 05/09/2026It isn't a successful BBQ until some drunken asshole walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I'm fine by the way. 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 29/08/2026Small talk at dinner tonight leafing through the menu: Her: Do you like dogs? Me: What page are you on? 010
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 25/08/2026My bank called because they noticed ‘highly suspicious activity’ on my charge account. It was for a gym membership. 010
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 21/08/2026One of my fondest memories before retiring was my boss would occasionally say "keep up the good work" and I had no recollection of doing any such work. 011
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Any way you can speed this up, officer? It's obvious that I am in a hurry. 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 10/08/2026I'm at a donut shop. So many choices and trying to find the best one for me. There's a chocolate covered donut with green sprinkles on it. That makes it a vegetable, right? Two, please! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 02/08/2026It would be so awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag at the theater... Especially if you don't know the man, and he doesn't know you're eating his popcorn! 020
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 30/07/2026You are always welcome to get a second opinion, but I think they will tell you just what I said. It is not your thermostat. 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 28/07/2026I end a sentence with "just saying", because ending it with "dumbass" might be offensive to some people. 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 17/07/2026If you think you will be caught in a tornado, put hot dogs in your pockets. This way, if you are buried beneath rubble, the search dogs will find you first. 020
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 16/07/2026I once saw a man in the water while I was at the beach screaming, "Help, shark, help!" I laughed my ass off because I knew that shark wasn't going to help him. 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Looking back, I am starting to think the roadrunner had a filthy mouth and the censors were just bleeping him! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 13/07/2026I am glad there are people out there that still do not have a smart phone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 09/07/2026I was just told to grow a pear. What the hell does fruit have to do with killing this big ass spider? 001
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 28/06/2026So my doctor said that I should start exercising with dumb-bells, sooo... Who wants to exercise with me? I know, I know. I thought it was kind of rude for him to say my friends were dumb-bells, but he's the doctor and I guess I should follow his orders. 010
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 25/06/2026My neighbor was telling me she never gets a promotion at work. So I told her she needs to dress for the job she wants and not the job she has. She just left her house for work dressed as Wonder Woman. 🤣🤣 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 19/06/2026To the guy that flipped me off at Subway when I honked at you... You left your sandwich and drink on top of your car! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 14/06/2026I found this big spider the other day and I didn't have any bug killer, so I sprayed him with air freshener. It didn't kill him, but now if I am sleeping and I smell coconut, I jump out of bed in a hurry! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 08/06/2026I knew it was going to be hilarious and painful at the same time when the guy drinking with his friends at the bar said "Hold my beer and watch this!!" 010
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 06/06/2026If I ever take a trip to England and I don't see anyone skipping to the loo, I am going to be so pissed! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 05/06/2026I don't know if I've got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I'm supposed to be doing... 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 03/06/2026The surviving member of Milli Vanilli has pulled out of Trumps Freedom 250 concert out of concerns that it could harm his reputation. 110
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 01/06/2026Just got home to a dark kitchen. I am sad to say that my LED light bulb has pulled out of the Freedom 250 concert. 130
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 30/05/2026ATC: "Cessna 431 Alpha. What are your intentions?" Cessna: "To get my Commercial Pilots License and Instrument Rating." ATC: "I meant in the next five minutes." 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 28/05/2026We should do that three day weekend thing more often!!! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 26/05/2026I was watching a volleyball game on ESPN this morning and realized... It's just a more intense version of "Don't let the balloon touch the ground". 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 25/05/2026Just when you think opportunity is knocking, you find that it is just another crappy day leaving a flaming bag of dog poop at your door! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 18/05/2026My mom taught me that I was a responsible person. She always told me "I know you're responsible for this!" 120
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 15/05/2026"Stay out of the heat and stay hydrated." Thank you, news anchor. It's my first summer! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 14/05/2026I'll bet it was really awkward when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow. 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 11/05/2026As a young boy, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. After all of these years, I find out this is called "Identity Theft". 010
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 10/05/2026Well, this weekend just went to crap!! I just read that George Lucas filmed nearly all of Star Wars right here on Earth!!! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Kyle Rittenhouse was hospitalized after a spider bite. Does anyone know if there is a GoFundMe set up for the spider? 110
Reposted by Sissys DadHoodlum 🇺🇸 @nothoodlum.bsky.social · 04/05/2026James Comey has been keeping busy waiting for his upcoming trial. 579133314534
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 04/05/2026Wow!! I can’t believe I was once a kid who fought taking naps 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 02/05/202690% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself. 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 29/04/2026I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision. 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 28/04/2026I just burned 1200 calories ... Okay actually, I just forgot I had a pizza in the oven. 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 27/04/2026And for my next trick... Watch me pull a dryer sheet from my sleeve! 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 27/04/2026Quiet down everyone. Donald Trump has the floor. 🤣🤣🤣 youtu.be/SfA4MDWzTmo?...youtu.beTrump FALLS On Face As Secret Service RUSHES Him Out Amid Gunshots At Washington Dinner | VIDEOYouTube video by Oneindia News 000
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 27/04/2026Learning to "stop drop and roll" in elementary school lead me to believe catching on fire would be a much more frequent problem later in life. 010
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 25/04/2026People who argue on their cell phones in public should be required to do it on speaker phone so the rest of us can get both sides. Only then will we know which side to choose. 010
Sissys Dad @sissysdad56.bsky.social · 23/04/2026When life throws you curveballs, swing at those bastards like Stevie Wonder with a lightsaber. 064