SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 08/10/2026"God, he eats like a pig." "I don't know. Pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck." 222340
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 07/10/2026"Good morning, Moe's Tavern!" "Hey, it's the president." "Good morning, everybody!" "Good morning." 0663
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 06/10/2026"Sorry I'm late, everyone. Somebody tampered with my brakes." "Well, then, you should have been early." 419832
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 05/10/2026"Take her away, boys." "I thought you said the law was powerless." "Powerless to help you, not punish you." 21004265
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 04/10/2026♪ In the name of love ♪ ♪ One more in the name of love ♪ 512619
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 03/10/2026"Oh, Homer, you're not going as a hobo again?" "Going where?" 240949
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 02/10/2026"Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such instructional videos as 'Mothballing Your Battleship' and 'Dig Your Own Grave and Save'." 113320
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 01/10/2026"Now, over the years, a newsman learns a number of things that for one reason or another, he just cannot report. It doesn't seem to matter now, so the following people are gay:" "Turn it off." "Just a second." 210217
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 30/09/2026"Oh, I don't know about this dog. He's kind of... snooty." "Homer, are you wearing a tie to impress Laddie?" "Do you think he noticed?" 124355
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 29/09/2026"Behold! The power plant of the future... today!" "Too cold and sterile. Where's the heart?" "But it really generates power. It's lighting this room right now." "You lose. Get off my property." 110611
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 28/09/2026"Look, that kid's got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel? Come here, you butterball." "Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate." 5878
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 25/09/2026"Why don't you come chat with us about the Leader at the welcome center?" "Will there be beer?" "Beer is not allowed." "Homer no function beer well without." 410424
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 24/09/2026"Good lord! Homer, do you have an explanation for this bill?" "Oh, it's that record club. The first nine were only a penny. Then they jacked up the price. It's not fair. It's not fair, I tells you." 17722
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 23/09/2026"Hey, hey! Sabu! Uh, I need another magnum of your best champagne here, eh? And bring us the finest food you got stuffed with the second finest." "Excellent, sir... Lobster stuffed with tacos." 17616
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 22/09/2026"Homer Simpson! You stand accused of eating half the population of the Planet of the Doughnuts." "As Homer's defense attorney, I feel we should be merci-- Hey! Did you just take a bite out of me?" "Um, maybe." 011814
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 20/09/2026"My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is not a porn star!" 032685
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 19/09/2026♪ Sugar, do-do-do-do do-do ♪ ♪ Aw, honey, honey do-do-do-do do-do ♪ 315141
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 18/09/2026"Hey, Homer, the section you're supposed to be monitoring is on fire." "Clowns are funny." 114034
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 17/09/2026 "In a sample taken in this very classroom, a state inspector found 1.74 parts per million of asbestos!" "That's not enough. We demand more asbestos. More asbestos! More asbestos! More asbestos! More asbestos!" 314337
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 16/09/2026"I suggest you leave immediately." "Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees, or dogs with bees in their mouth, and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? Well, go ahead. Do your worst." 616125
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 15/09/2026"Ooh! Look at me. I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from Happy Land In a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane. Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic." 416541
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 14/09/2026"Say, Barn... uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?" "Oh, yeah. We all had a good laugh, Moe." "The results came back today. You owe me $70 billion." "Hmm?" "No, wait, wait wait, that's for the Voyager spacecraft. Um, your tab's $14 billion." 112627
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 12/09/2026"There's no way to see into the Simpson home without some kind of infrared heat-sensitive camera. Now, this technology is new to me, but I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees. He's literally stewing in his own juices." 418339
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 11/09/2026"Hey. Marge, I can't feel my legs. I can't feel my legs!" "Homer! Homer, those legs belong to the man behind you." "Hi." 210619
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 09/09/2026"Marge, it's 3:00 A.M. Shouldn't you be baking?" 014217
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 08/09/2026"Now this is the most important man on the tour. He's in charge of quality control." "Fine. Fine. Mouse. Fine. Mouse. Rat. Fine. Syringe. Fine. Nose. Fine." "Let me just say, you're doing a great job, Phil." "Hey, thanks a lot. That makes it all worthwhile." 19514
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 07/09/2026*...dental plan. Lisa needs braces. ...dental plan. Lisa needs braces.* "Bull's-eye!" "Thanks a lot, Carl. Now I've lost my train of thought." 212221
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 06/09/2026"Oh... English side ruined. Must use French instructions. 'Le grille'? What the hell is that?" 7329100
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 05/09/2026 "♪Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese ♪ ♪ Pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun ♪ Oh..." "Homer, you're drooling on the mike again." 18717
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 03/09/2026"Excuse me. Are you Drew Barrymore?" "What? Get out of here. I'm hung over." "Sorry, Miss Barrymore." "What?" 5668
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 02/09/2026 "We are insured, aren't we, Mom?" "Homer, tell your child what you bought when I sent you to town to get some insurance." "Curse you, magic beans!" 113523
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 01/09/2026"Hey, Dad, that light says 'check engine'." "Uh-oh. Tape must have fallen off. There. Problem solved." 112926
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 01/09/2026"It must be the first of the month. New billboard day! 'This year, give her English muffins.' Whatever you say, Mr. Billboard. 'Best in the West.' That rhymes. Clown college? You can't eat that." 115248
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 31/08/2026"Welcome to Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge. I am Carvallo. Now, choose a club. You have chosen a three wood. May I suggest a putter? Three wood. Now, enter the force of your swing. I suggest feather touch. You have entered "power drive." Now, push 7-8-7 to swing. Ball is in parking lot." 517747
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 30/08/2026"Moe, what do you recommend for severe depression?" "Booze, booze and more booze." 112023
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 27/08/2026"Smithers, I'm home." "What? Already?" "Yes." 314529
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 26/08/2026"Well, you kids are old enough to know the truth, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. So, the tiny aorta fairies will take Mr. Leg Vein on a long trip to get married to Princess Left Ventricle." "Dad, are you trying to tell us you're getting a coronary artery bypass graft?" "Uh, yeah." 112520
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 25/08/2026"Tomorrow, on Rock Bottom... He's a foreigner who takes perverted videos of you when you least suspect it. He's Rowdy Roddy Peeper." 09913
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 24/08/2026♪ I work hard for the money ♪ ♪ So hard for the money ♪ ♪ Oh, I something, something money ♪ ♪ Come on give me lots of honey ♪ "Now, there's an employee, Smithers. A smile on his lips and a song in his heart. Promote him." 113636
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 23/08/2026"Foolish dingo, you must find and devour the seven crystal babies, or spend eternity trapped in deep didgeri-doo!" 114639
SimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 22/08/2026♪ Nacho, nacho man ♪ ♪ I want to be a nacho man ♪ 322243
