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Simon C. Holland

@simoncholland.bsky.social
1.3K followers 120 following 12 posts

I didn't realize I was supposed to know how to do everything by my second rodeo. That's still a very low number of rodeos.

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Simon C. Holland @simoncholland.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
We got an electric blanket so now I call all of our other ones acoustic blankets.
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Simon C. Holland @simoncholland.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
Everyone loves when the scissors glide but when you tape the back of the present and the pattern on the paper matches up perfectly? That feels like drugs.
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Simon C. Holland @simoncholland.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
After years of routinely unclogging drains and cleaning out the most hideous stuff imaginable I just learned that my daughters ALWAYS BRUSH THEIR HAIR IN THE SHOWER?!? like they have a special shower brush and everything. I am shaking with rage.
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Simon C. Holland @simoncholland.bsky.social · 07/12/2024
Got some stocking stuffers for my wife at Aldi. Hope she likes Bart’s Beez lip balm.
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Simon C. Holland @simoncholland.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
My daughter woke up at 6:06 today instead of her usual 6:00 because we let her stay up 5 hours past her bedtime last night.
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Reposted by Simon C. Holland
Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
[you find a mysterious charging port on your body] oh no [also it’s not usb-c] OH NO
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Simon C. Holland @simoncholland.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
I didn't realize I was supposed to know how to do everything by my second rodeo. That's still a very low number of rodeos.
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Simon C. Holland @simoncholland.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
[Me watching football on TV] Oh man this reminds me of high school Her: you played football in high school? Me: no, I watched TV
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Simon C. Holland @simoncholland.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
The thing about having a wife and two daughters is finding places to put their 396 blankets.
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Simon C. Holland @simoncholland.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
My dad never called me a loser to my face but the time he took me to see the Harlem Globetrotters, he bought me a Washington Generals shirt.
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Simon C. Holland @simoncholland.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
I have friends on the internet but you wouldn’t know them because they go to a different site.
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