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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 01/01/2026

www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/th... from Synonyms of theatrical 1: as in dramatic: given to or marked by attention-getting behavior suggestive of stage acting 2: as in operatic: having the general quality or effect of a stage performance

Merriam-Webster: Your 2026 Word

theatrical

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 17/12/2025

Many in a culture of abuse wrongly believe that being abusive can protect your agency. To quote Sakhmet in The Wicked + The Divine #28 (page 8): "Someone is ALWAYS going to be hurt. Predator and prey, victim and aggressor... ...and if YOU'RE the one causing the pain, it means you're not the prey."

The bottom three panels of page 8 from The Wicked + The Divine issue #28. Sakhmet, a Black woman with a short bleach-blonde undercut, touches up her makeup and outfit while musing on a question asked: "why do we hurt people?"

Panel 1: Someone is ALWAYS going to be hurt.

Panel 2: Predator and prey, victim and aggressor...

Panel 3: ...and if YOU'RE the one causing the pain, it means you're not the prey.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 19/11/2025

This reminds me of Keiichi Arawi's INTENTIONAL overuse of "bonjour" in a couple chapters of the manga CITY, where it's a catch-all euphemism being read off-panel from a very explicit BL manga in-universe... some heavy meta there! 😆

"Pardon the rush, but please let me bonjour my bonjour in your bonjour."

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 16/11/2025

This quote is the one and only good thing from the cited author/book, and it applies to all marginalized people who choose to betray solidarity and let themselves be played by their oppressors:

“It can be fun to feel exceptional--to be the loophole woman, to have a whole power thing, to be an honorary man. But if you are the exception that proves the rule, and the rule is that women are inferior, you haven't made any progress.”
― Ariel Levy, Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 16/11/2025

This quote is the one and only good thing from the cited author/book, and it applies to all marginalized people who choose to betray solidarity and let themselves be played by their oppressors:

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 10/11/2025

Here's the second part of a list for signs of abusive behavior.

16. Twisting reality: Manipulating how the other person perceives situations to gain an advantage weakens their trust in their own judgment and gives the abuser the upper hand.
17. Humiliation: The abuser intentionally puts the other person down in front of others or in private. The goal is to belittle and shame the other person, making them feel worthless and isolated.
18. Threatening to hurt family, friends, or pets: Threatening to hurt the other person’s loved ones, even if not carried out, creates fear and control. The abuser exploits their vulnerabilities to manipulate them.
19. Cheating to show power: Cheating can be a way for the abuser to establish dominance and show disregard for the other person’s feelings. It’s about disrespect and a need for control.
20. Telling them they’ll never find someone better: Threatening that they’ll never find someone better keeps the other person trapped in the relationship by preying on their insecurities.

21. Damaging belongings: During an argument, damaging property or belongings may create fear and insinuate that the abuser means to hurt the other person. It’s a display of anger and potential for violence.
22. Silent treatment: Withholding communication via silent treatment as punishment is a manipulative tactic. It leaves the other person feeling confused, isolated, and desperate for the abuser’s approval.
23. Exploiting insecurities: Using the other person’s insecurities for personal gain is a form of emotional abuse. The abuser takes advantage of their vulnerabilities to manipulate them.
24. Blackmailing: Emotion blackmail involves threatening to expose personal information to control the other person’s behavior. It’s a violation of trust and a tactic to keep them under the abuser’s control.
25. Love bombing: Love-bombing refers to showering someone with a disproportionate amount of love and affection at the beginning of the relationship to suck them into a false sense of security. When done intentionally, this pretense is emotional abuse because it is manipulative and seeks to gain power.

How to Know If You Are the Abuser or Being Abused

In emotionally abusive relationships, it’s common for the abuser to convince the victim that they’re the one being abusive. This tactic, often referred to as gaslighting, leaves the abused person feeling confused and guilty. If you find yourself constantly being blamed, feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, or being told that you’re the problem, it might be a sign that you’re being manipulated and abused, not the abuser.

To figure out if you’re abusive or being abused, start by reflecting on your actions and the dynamics of the relationship. Ask yourself if your behavior includes consistent criticism, control, isolation, or belittlement of your partner. Conversely, if you feel controlled, belittled, or isolated, these are red flags indicating you might be the one being abused. Consider seeking the perspective of a trusted friend or therapist to gain clarity.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to clarify whether you are the abuser of being abused:

Do I often feel guilty or responsible for things going wrong, even when I haven’t done anything wrong?
Am I constantly walking on eggshells, afraid of how my partner will respond to my actions or words?
Do I frequently belittle, control, or isolate my partner, or do I feel belittled, controlled, or isolated?
Are my emotions and experiences regularly invalidated or dismissed by my partner?
Do I use threats, intimidation, or manipulation to get my way, or do I feel threatened, intimidated, or manipulated?
Do I apologize for my behavior and make genuine efforts to change, or do I find myself repeatedly apologizing for my partner’s behavior?

The Myth of Mutual Abuse

The myth of mutual abuse suggests that both partners in a relationship are equally abusive to each other, but this oversimplifies the complex dynamics of abuse. In reality, there’s often a power imbalance where one person exerts control and dominance over the other. Reactions to mutual abuse, such as self-defense, are coping mechanisms, not mutual abuse.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 10/11/2025

Here's the first part of a list for signs of abusive behavior.

Am I Emotionally Abusive?

If you have ever asked yourself, “Am I abusive?” these examples may help you evaluate your behavior. Review your actions honestly, and check to see if you may be doing something that gives you power and control over your partner.

Here are 25 signs that a person may be emotionally abusive:

1. Threatening to withhold love and affection: The abuser offers affection or respect only when they get what they want, undermining the other person’s sense of self-worth and making them feel like they have to “earn” love.
2. Monitoring activities: This goes beyond occasional phone checks. The abuser deliberately attempts to control the other person by constantly monitoring their social media, emails, or even physical location.
3. Guilt Trips: The abuser might make the other person feel guilty for something they didn’t do or for simply having their own needs. This manipulation tactic keeps them feeling responsible for the abuser’s happiness.
4. Forcing decisions: The abuser might pressure the other person into making decisions they’re not comfortable with, disregarding their needs and boundaries. This is about control, not respecting their autonomy.
5. Triangulation: Triangulation involves bringing a third person into a conflict to manipulate the situation. The abuser might play one person against another, creating insecurity and competition.

6. Minimizing or denying abuse: When the other person tries to address the abuse, the abuser might deny it ever happened, downplay its severity, or even blame the other person for their behavior. This gaslighting further confuses and isolates the other person.
7. Lying and dishonesty: Consistent deception and dishonesty confuse the other person, damaging their ability to trust those close to them. Lying can become even more abusive when paired with gaslighting.
8. Gaslighting: Gaslighting is when the abuser makes the other person question their feelings and judgment by denying their experiences or memories. It chips away at their trust in their own perception of reality.
9. Name-calling: Consistent insults and put-downs chip away at the other person’s self-esteem, making them feel worthless and easier to control.
10. Not allowing privacy: Monitoring phone activity, location tracking, or using excessive cameras/recordings to keep tabs on someone, or not allowing them time for themselves all restrict the other person’s sense of privacy and independence.

11. Preventing education: By preventing someone from getting an education, the abuser limits their opportunities for independence and growth, keeping them reliant.
12. Controlling finances: Financial abuse includes controlling someone else’s finances in a way that is not consistent with their best interests. It takes away their power and makes them financially dependent on the abuser.
13. Constant criticizing: The abuser can damage the other person’s self-esteem by constantly attacking them with criticisms. It weakens their confidence and makes them easier to control.
14. Isolating from family or friends: Directly or indirectly cutting off another person’s social connections is a way for the abuser to control them. It isolates them from support systems and makes them more vulnerable to manipulation.
15. Attempting to control appearance: This includes restricting the other person from dressing in specific ways or expressing themselves through their appearance. It’s about controlling their identity.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 10/11/2025

Sharing some more Patricia Evans quotes here.

“The victim of abuse is taught to believe that although she is hurting, she shouldn’t be, or that she is in some way responsible. From childhood, she is conditioned not to understand her feelings and so not to recognize the truth. This truth is that she is being abused and blamed for the abuse (as if it could be justified) and for feeling bad about it (as if her feelings were wrong). The typical partner believed the abuser’s denial and so became frustrated and confused even while she searched for answers. Unable to reach clarity and understanding, the partner was left with feelings of inadequacy and confusion. If her mate was not wrong, if he was not lying, if she did take things wrong, then she could believe only that “something must be wrong with the way she was — how she expressed herself, how she came across, or possibly with her feelings and experience of reality itself.” Thus the doubts of childhood rose up once more. She kept her mind open to what she might hear that would reveal what was wrong — why she suffered. She became, therefore, the perfect victim.”
― Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

“Abusive statements are lies about you which are told to you. They violate your boundaries. The abuser in effect invades your mind, makes up a “story” about your motives, and then tells it to you. No human being has the right to do that to another.”
― Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

“In a verbally abusive relationship, the partner learns to tolerate abuse without realizing it and to lose self-esteem without realizing it. She is blamed by the abuser and becomes the scapegoat. The partner is then the victim.”
― Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

“Verbal abuse is a violation, not a conflict. There is a definite difference between conflict and abuse. In a conflict each participant wants something different. In order to resolve the conflict, the two people in the relationship discuss their wants, needs, and reasons while mutually seeking a creative solution. There may or may not be a solution, but no one forces, dominates, or controls the other. Verbal abuse, on the other hand, is very different from a conflict. If we describe verbal abuse from the standpoint of boundary violation, we would describe it as an intrusion upon, or disregard of, one’s self by a person who disregards boundaries in a sometimes relentless pursuit of Power Over, superiority, and dominance by covert or overt means.”
― Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 04/11/2025

This demonstrates your family viewing you as less than human, if only their privileged problems matter to them. They regard un-privileged people as societal pollutants that should be removed. No wonder they disparage you fighting for your survival so much; it reminds them "those" people exist.

A comic panel of an agitated man's face, saying
"I don't care about the REST of the human race!
THEY'RE not important!"
"But I'm too RICH to die!"

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 20/08/2025

This sums up society as a cycle of abuse, like what @kierongillen.bsky.social wrote for Sakhmet in WicDiv #28: "Someone is ALWAYS going to be hurt. Predator and prey, victim and aggressor... And if YOU'RE the one causing the pain, it means you're not the prey." I hope there's better ahead.

Sakhmet, a Black woman with a blonde undercut, looks in the mirror to fix her eyeliner and put on her earrings. As she does this, she says: "Someone is ALWAYS going to be hurt. Predator and prey, victim and aggressor... And if YOU'RE the one causing the pain, it means you're not the prey."

From "The Wicked + The Divine" #28 by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 03/08/2025

I think MTL's Pride crew were right to do that. I am ANGERED that "Jewish groups" are so willing to conflate Zionism with Jewishness, like MP Housefather openly does, because it threatens the safety of all Jewish people. What a shande fur die Yidden. readthecatch.ca/housefather-...

"I am a Canadian, I am a Jew and I am a Zionist," Housefather said in a near-10 minute speech. "I am proud that my family came here in the 19th century and helped build this country."

"I am a Zionist and I am not embarrassed or ashamed of being a Zionist."

The speech contained tropes like conflating Judaism with Zionism, and repeated debunked talking points about Israelis being the true Indigenous population to Palestine. He also painted protests at synagogues as antisemitic, without revealing why those synagogues were targeted (companies holding the events profited from the illegal sale of Palestinian land.)

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 27/06/2025

I can't help remembering this moment of @sarahkendzior.bsky.social sharing Trump spelling everything out at the start of HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT: “You know what solves [America]? When the economy crashes, when the country goes to total hell and everything is a disaster.”

You can look to the president-elect himself for a vision of what is to come. He has told you his plans all along, though most chose to downplay or deny them. You can even look back to before his candidacy, when in February 2014, he went on Fox News to defend Russia. Why a reality TV host was on Fox News defending Russia is its own story, but here is what he said about his desired outcome for the United States: “You know what solves it? When the economy crashes, when the country goes to total hell and everything is a disaster. Then you’ll have a [chuckles], you know, you’ll have riots to go back to where we used to be when we were great.”

from HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT by Sarah Kendzior

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 24/06/2025

12/? THIS was where this person revealed they're a liberal Zionist, insisting that Jews speaking out against Zionism, while citing sources for the ideology's history, somehow gets it wrong. Hell, I'm unsure if this person even IS Jewish, which makes debating MY LIVED EXPERIENCE with them worse!

Raven Onthill‬
@ravenonthill.bsky.social‬
That's an extreme version of Zionism. The basic idea is simply "Jews ought to have a homeland," not that all Jews ought to live in one place. In this century, I think the only way that is possible is if Jews share their homeland.

Raven Onthill
‪@ravenonthill.bsky.social‬
Purist nationalism, the idea that every ethnicity should have its own state, is not realistic.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 24/06/2025

Weirdly, Zionism's core belief is inherent hatred and victim-blaming among itself. It sees Jews as permanently "wrong/lesser", proposing a solution to corral all Jews into Israel--like a reservation, keeping Jews segregated from white/European people so they don't taint them or "deserve" violence.

Raven Onthill
‪@ravenonthill.bsky.social‬
The ADL comes to mind. I am astonished that they've given up their historic mission of protecting Jews to make excuses for Netanyahu's vile government. Do they not understand that the forces they have aligned themselves with are antisemitic?

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 24/06/2025

Likewise--and you're not wrong! There are wonderful anti-Zionist/diasporist spaces, which can be harder to find because most big-name communities, organizations, etc. are Zionist. They're especially cruel to anti-Zionist/diasporist Jews, attacking them as traitors.

Raven Onthill
‪@ravenonthill.bsky.social‬
That's awful. I wonder if perhaps these are just the loudest voices, though, and shouting loudly to drown out the voice of their conscience. I know a lot of Jews who are horrified by the Netanyahu government's conduct.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 24/06/2025

8/? Yes, the mayor was Jewish, and has both voiced support and given money for Israel. Most people in that area loudly agreed with him, too. Jewish people who voice criticism or dissent against these beliefs are often told by Zionist Jews how they deserve to be harmed in lurid and grotesque ways.

Raven Onthill
‪@ravenonthill.bsky.social‬
Was the mayor Jewish?

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 24/06/2025

5/? That's a fair point--however, even with a far-left, pro-Palestinian bias in that source, the similarities found across that survey match up with my own lived experiences in Jewish communities across several places in the US and Canada, as well as with other non-Zionist Jewish people I know.

Raven Onthill
‪@ravenonthill.bsky.social‬
That's one survey of 13 students from a far left source with a pro-Palestinian bias. I don't think it's a reliable overview of the opinions of the majority of Jews in the USA or Canada, at least I would want to see some corroborating evidence.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 24/06/2025

3/That division proves how Jews who don't support Israel/Zionism are ostracized--they're not "real" Jews to Zionist Jews. Many Jewish communities indoctrinate supporting Israel/Zionism as a fundamental value, and drive out or erase the Jewish people who disagree. www.readthemaple.com/youre-litera...

Raven Onthill
‪@ravenonthill.bsky.social‬
Is there actually a unified position on the matter? My impression is that American Jews are thoroughly divided on these issues and the majority are critical of at least the current Israeli government.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 24/06/2025

I'm sharing here my now-deleted replies, because this person kept "just asking questions" at me until I realized they too were a fucking Zionist--in the sense that they believe Jewish people "deserve" an ethnostate for special reasons. THREAD 1/?

Raven Onthill
‪@ravenonthill.bsky.social‬
Be interesting to see how the Christian Zionists respond. And the Trump-supporting Jews.

(quote)
🏳️‍⚧️ The Josie Question
‪@josie.zone‬
Not saying it'll happen, but Trump ending 80 years of US support for Israel due to petty frustration would be pretty funny

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 10/06/2025

I'm pretty confident this asshole created his crypto-breeding app because he has NO chance at getting any woman he mouth-breathes over to accept his creepy intent to reduce her to a breeding vessel for his imaginary future god-genius offspring.

June 3rd, 2025

Having consensual sex with an unpaid woman is one of the most profoundly validating experiences for many men.

A woman choosing to have sex with a man is usually a colossal approval of his physical and mental characteristics.

January 9th, 2025

A treatment that could lower someone's beauty standards would be immensely valuable and sought after.

The issue of not being attracted to enough people is very common, and often causes people to be single, lonely, and childless.

January 28th, 2025

Sex is one of the most essential activities that men engage in.

Sex is a foundational ingredient for many men's self esteem, masculinity, purpose, and life motivation.

Depriving innocent men from experiencing the pleasures of sex via routine infant circumcision, mandatory military service, or puberty blockers is evil and cruel.

January 9th, 2025

Many women are choosing to become obese to reduce the amount of sexual pursuits and harassment they must endure.

Reducing the prevalence of sexual harassment would help to reduce the prevalence of female obesity.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 10/06/2025

Of course, he's a fucking intactivist.

Anti-circumcision being used as an excuse for xenophobia and bigotry:

December 31st, 2024
The Jewish practice of Brit Milah is evil and barbaric.
The Islamic practice of Khitan is evil and barbaric.
The Filipino practice of Tuli is evil and barbaric.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 16/05/2025

Show me a cover version better than the original Scissor Sisters took a Pink Floyd song depicting escapism as a coping feature for toxic masculinity, and they turned it into the sonic experience of a pleasant trip.

cover art for the single release of Scissor Sisters' version of "Comfortably Numb"

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 20/04/2025

I can only think of this clip from the teaser/sizzle reel when PIcnicface were crowdfunding the film Roller Town (it was made BEFORE THE ACTUAL MOVIE). It's perfectly appropriate.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 09/04/2025

HELL YEAH CEGAVSKE MENTIONED! I love introducing people to "Blood Tea and Red String", because this film is so good at getting stuck in people's heads. (It's also an excellent choice for watching when an edible hits, because it's so dang PRETTY.)

A poster for the stop-motion film "Blood Tea and Red String", a film by Christiane Cegavske.

Two white mice with red eyes, wearing red embroidered jackets with large white ruffs, sit at a cluttered tea table with teacups filled in red, the blood tea. In the background is a superimposed, transparent glimpse of the face of a rag doll, whose body is stitched together with red string.

At the bottom left is this review quote: "A David Lynchean fever dream on Beatrix Potter terrain...as lovingly crafted as it is unsettlingly sour-sweet" from Dennis Harvey, Variety

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 09/04/2025

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 02/04/2025

Just sounds like Thorfinn Karlsefni Thórdarson to me.

A white speech bubble against a blue-grey background with black text inside the speech bubble saying "I have no enemies."

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 13/03/2025

This is one of the most ignorantly vile things I've seen from an American proclaiming alliance with Canada. This solution still demands Canada's subservience to US, without considering there would likely be NO negotiating power or voting rights for the people being invaded. We don't consent.

Dear Canada,

Most Americans do not support this guy or insanity. That said, you can help us to get rid of him.

Say you’ll agree to join the US if you are recognized as 6 states, everyone gets free health care for all, and a new election.

Then let’s vote this awfulness out.

Thank you!

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 06/10/2024

Here's a screenshot with the alt text, as well:

Liverpool fans braced for months of futile optimism
04-12-15

liverpool

LIVERPOOL fans are gearing themselves up for six months of ultimately pointless optimism.

With the return of Daniel Sturridge and Jurgen Klopp in charge, there is a new mood of confidence that the team can clinch the title, only not quite.

Liverpool fan Nathan Muir said: “I really believe that this season we can do it, but won’t do it.

“I can see us going all the way, three points clear with two games to go, only to lose to Watford at home after Mignolet throws the ball into his own net with no player near him.

“This is what Liverpool Football Club is all about. Passion. Heart. Desire. The shirt. Wanting it more than the other team. Wanting it so much you become paralysed with fear at the thought of not getting it.”

Muir added: “We’re like a man who’s desperate to impress the woman of his dreams on a date, and it’s all going brilliantly until he vomits on her pudding.”

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 22/01/2024

Joining that with evidence--the Canadian version launched in stores around the 2022 winter holiday season.

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silverseafoam @silverseafoam.myatproto.social · 04/01/2024

If you want to meet both extremes in the middle, Fazer makes a milk chocolate bar with a salmiakki filling.

Image description: A chocolate bar with black-and-white diamond print on the lengthwise upper third of the packaging, a red stripe across the middle of the bar with the text "Fazer Salmiakki", and solid black across the lower third of the packaging with white lettering saying "salty liquorice-filled chocolate" in both Finnish and Swedish.

The text on the bar reads: Fazer Salmiakki
Salmiakkitäytesuklaa (Finnish for "salmiakki-filled chocolate")
Mjölkchoklad med salmiakfyllning (Swedish for "milk chocolate with salmiac filling")

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