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shrimp

@shrimp.fail

126 followers 278 following 252 posts

you tellin me i fried this rice? he/him

Posts Replies Media

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 03/02/2026

uh pretty sure its the other way around

A sign that says “MANAGER’S SALE” and “ICE MELT SALT” above a stack of bags

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 20/01/2026

there’s a god dang cheeto in the bone temple!!!!

The character Dr. Kelson from 28 Years Later and its sequel 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple.

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 05/12/2025

A meme from The Simpsons. Lisa looks at a display case titled “The Ham Net from Hamnet” with a picture of a ham wrapped in netting

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 02/08/2025

finally get to experience The Wizard of Oz as Victor Fleming intended

A screenshot from Halo

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 19/07/2025

NO ONE FUCKIN KNOWS MY NAME OH FUCK IM GONNA CREAM MY PANTS IF I EVEN GET ONE PERCENT OF THE VOTE FUCKKKKK

A freeze frame of the quoted video of Jim Walden sky-diving with his mouth open like he is screaming

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 24/04/2025

incredible logo design happening over on x dot com

An advertisement for a keyboard called “Magger68” written in a script font that makes it look like the N-word

000

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 15/04/2025

matty yglesias replying to his own post

Bo Burnham with a sock on his hand. From a song from his Netflix special Inside.

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 15/04/2025

A screenshot from the movie Zoolander where the character Derek Zoolander is a merman. Underneath is a caption that reads “Ingredients is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty”

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 28/02/2025

this week’s severance episode gets two thumbs up!!!!

The character Devon from the TV series Severance holds up her two hands in fists with the thumb extended as she cries

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 22/02/2025

this week on severence mark sees a phish show

A screenshot from the TV series Severance of the character Mark with the subtitles “everything was, like, so white”

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 31/12/2024

that’s funny cause “ex money” is the technical term for twitter’s valuation

A tweet from The Spectator Index that reads: “JUST IN: X CEO says that payment system 'X Money' will launch in 2025”

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 31/12/2024

“supports throat health” yeah that’s what they all say

A shelf of boxes of tea bags. The one in the middle is “Organic Throat Coat”

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 24/12/2024

A Tale of Two Cities ❌ It was the best of times, it was the worst of times ✅ It was times

An advert for a company called Magibook. The headline reads "Turn HARD books into EASY books with Magibook! Maximize your reading potential and avoid difficult language today."

Underneath is two covers of The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Above the first cover is the original version of the opening sentence (captioned "Turn Hard Books"), which reads "In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since."

Above the second cover (captioned "into Easy Books") is a simplified version, which reads "When I was young, my dad told me something that I still think about."

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 21/12/2024

my favorite part of the woman body? haha…. well, id have to say the

A photo of a box of candy bars called “Knoppers”

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 12/12/2024

luigi doesn’t need a gun anymore he can just do this

A screenshot from the movie Zoolander of the titular character making his “Blue Steel” look

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 29/11/2024

Top frame: Marge Simpson sits alone in a room. The caption reads “At times like this, I guess all you can do is be thankful”

Bottom frame: Marge sits alone staring into the middle distance. No caption

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 21/11/2024

An image of Zapp Brannigan from the TV show Futurama. He is logging in a robe with a glass of champagne with a crudely drawn speech bubble at the bottom, as if he is speaking the quoted post

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 19/11/2024

people who call themselves "twitter refugees" sound like this

A screenshot of the TV show Community. Britta is sitting at the top of bleachers in a beret. The subtitles read "in the breat purge of about two minutes ago"

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 19/11/2024

blessed by a bodega cat this morning

A black and white cat curled up with its feet at its head in a red cat bed

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 18/11/2024

bad news about what book it’s based on and who wrote it

A screenshot of an article that reads:

films. Additionally, this HBO show is not based on anything Frank Herbert himself has written; rather, it is adapted from his son Brian Herbert's prequel novel Sisterhood of Dune. If this is the
first you've ever heard about this book, well... it's because it's not particularly good.

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 17/11/2024

yeah i use an echo chamber every day

000

shrimp @shrimp.fail · 17/11/2024

is he johnny depp?