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Shmelly

@shmelly.bsky.social
61 followers 4 following 409 posts

I don’t tweet unless I’m stoned

PostsRepliesMedia
Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
Depends on the model specifically, but most helicopters have a glide radio of around 1 nautical mile per 1,000-1500 feet of altitude. It’s not a lot, and it’s much less than a fixed wing, but it’s enough to work with. Especially since helicopters need a lot less space to land.
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
I’m taking a speech class online, and there is truly nothing more humbling than stuttering to my camera for 5 minutes like a damn moron
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
Burped on my girls pussy whist eating her out
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
I just need to flex that I could 100% land a commercial airliner if both pilots passed out for some reason
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 20/02/2025
I agree. The wright flyer was awful! Zero practical application
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
Perhaps I overreacted
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
Tf am i supposed to do now, go outside???
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
they can’t take tik tok from me
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
im crashin out
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
Im willing to invite violence over tik tok shutting down in the US
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
Why is the Squid Game 2 Russian Roulette scene an actual cinematic masterpiece
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 06/01/2025
Can someone explain football to me? My team made it to the playoffs for the first time in like 10 years or something
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 04/01/2025
I would rather exclusively text someone over Snapchat than see their ugly green aindroid text bubble
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 02/01/2025
Can’t wait to get home and fat shame my cat
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 01/01/2025
I was the first person in the world to know about jimmy carters death and I have absolutely no evidence but im so fr
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 29/12/2024
Was it ballin?
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 27/12/2024
Just relaxed to go pee but I relaxed too much so I had to abort mission and sit down to poop
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
You people make me regret learning to read
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
Tums are lowkey so yummy I just be eating them sometimes
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
I made the hairs in my shower say “hoes mad”
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 17/12/2024
$1.95
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 17/12/2024
Whimper audios on sale $1.75
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
Just found the complete 16-disk collection of “The Cosby Show” at my local thrift store. Might have to cop.
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
clause
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
Sanmta
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
Show me your broom
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
The best tweets are the ones born from rippin the penjamin
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
Reading cursive lowkey gives me motion sickness like damn that line swirls around so much
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
Just scheduled a meeting with my therapist (11 banana shooters) at my local mental health institution (the corner store)
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
You never know, maybe one day they’ll show my tweets in a courtroom
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
I can never let my employer find this account
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
“What child is this” -dude who found a random child
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
That’s a fuckin good idea, I like where your heads at. You got a 8x3 plot in my RV if you want it.
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Usually helps if you put whiskey in the coffee
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Target threatened to tow my RV though
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
The voices in my head are whispering threats against CEOs
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Good fuck that guy
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Starting a bluesky creator content house. It’s an RV in a Walmart parking lot in Helena Montana. Plenty of room if we sleep in sleeping bags on the floor. DM me if you’re in.
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Vampires lowkey freaky like why you wanna suck my neck so bad ahaha
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
Just spend $250 to purchase guitar hero set just to play it on medium
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
That sounds awesome, I’ll bring my Nintendo 3DS that I used to record the weezer concert I went to
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
did it stink
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
I would kill a CEO for an extra tub of kimchi
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
most witches have a flying broom, dasher has a flying wheelchair
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
amogus will forever be my favorite word
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
A literary masterpiece to rival the works of shakespeare
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 09/12/2024
The pressure of making fire tweets is getting to me
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Shmelly @shmelly.bsky.social · 09/12/2024
I’m making waves out here
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