iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

Everyone keeps posting about how trump is a draft dodger but that's like... The one cool thing he has ever done?

barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

Reading Democrat messaging on ICE is like seeing Cthulu. Your mind just melts and you go insane as you try to figure out what is going on or who this is for.

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

The labeler that tags accounts that post more than 50 times a day is the most useful thing on here. Really rips the mask off how many people are out there posting instead of hugging their kids or whatever

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

Please don't use violence to protest against fascism you might hurt a fascist!

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 11/01/2026

If I got stuck in an elevator I would instantly kill myself that thing stops moving and doors don't open in four seconds I'm already talking to st peter

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

If you don't speed when you pull up to a red light all the other cars make fun of your car

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

Listen man all I'm saying is I think we all agree on what has to be done with every single ICE pig

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

Just realized there is a non zero chance dubstep makes a comeback in my lifetime and shuddered

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

Yeah they stopped making every single one of those genres in 1998. Dumbass

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Damn looks like a bunch of people resolved to be annoying dorks online in 2026 hate to see it

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Oeuf is spelled how a french dog would bark

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

My danish grandpa keeps gifting me clogs and I don't have the heart to tell him I hate him

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 28/12/2025

There's three fluid types: water coke and milk. It's high time for a fourth. No non newtonian BULLSHIT either

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 26/12/2025

If I saw one of those food delivery robots I would open it up and take a big crap inside

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 23/12/2025

Sitting on a steel girder 370 feet in the air giddily opening up my bento box and beginning to eat my rice ball as all the other guys pointedly ignore me

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

I demand respect from my homies

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 21/12/2025

I am wearing a crazy type of new hat previously unknown to man

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 17/12/2025

Rosa parks no she doesn't she was on the dang bus

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 16/12/2025

You know I am posting ai pictures of trump as a chicken and am weirdly emotionally invested in Ukraine and you better believe my diaper is full and I drool when I talk

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 15/12/2025

Yoda's penis would just look like an old man's penis dyed green. ET's penis on the other hand would be truly unrecognizable to us.

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 13/12/2025

Food pyramid can't stop me from giving myself diarrhea by eating 13 honey garlic pepperoni sticks

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 12/12/2025

AI user should be thrown into a swimming pool filled with barbed wire

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

Economy is so dang bad John Daly is now John Weekly

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 29/11/2025

I keep bopping my oafish stooges on the head and then ashing my cigar on the quickly rising lump that forms but they never seem to learn

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 25/11/2025

I am selling individually wrapped cheese slices and if you have to ask you can't afford it

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

Everyone always forgets that Pinocchio was italian. No wonder he was of such poor moral fibre.

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

*smallie bigs voice* don't gimme the loot

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

Doctor put a cone on me to stop me from jacking off but it didn't work I think they're gonna put me down

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

Oooh I love my oath. My oath means everything to me ohhhhhh golly I sure love upholding my oath ouuuuhghhhh unnnnggghhh urrrhhhhhhm my oaaaath

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

Confidently stepping up to the DDR dance pad and signaling for quiet to the crowd of people amassed around me and then shattering every bone in my right leg after missing the first input

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 20/11/2025

If the butt was on the front and the dick was on the back. The world would be very different.

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 19/11/2025

If I ever saw a flash mob I would start throwing rocks at the performers

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 13/11/2025

Fetterman is in hospital and doing well but don't fret tons of dangerous viruses in hospitals. Still a chance.

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 12/11/2025

I'M JACKING OFF MY LITTLE SLUG IMAGINING A DINOSAUR WEARING SHOES

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 11/11/2025

Wish Buttigieg had the lifespan of a rat too

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 05/11/2025

It would have been so much scarier if the 9/11 hijackings were done by vampires and werewolves

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 02/11/2025

Toilet? Activate shit mode. Safeties off.

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 26/10/2025

Do onion ring curly fries exist that shit would go crazy

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 20/10/2025

There should be a pill you can take that makes your piss purple

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 19/10/2025

Americans quantify anything without resorting to football fields challenge level impossible

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 17/10/2025

It rules so hard these kind of guys are deciding the fate of like every single living thing on earth but they can't even walk down a completely smooth hallway

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 14/10/2025

Anyone know an easy way to get your dog to eat cigarette butts? Tried everything I can think of.

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 14/10/2025

Cops always say they're gonna resign en masse over shit then they start looking around and realize a) no one else will pay them 100k a year to act like sociopaths and b) they wouldnt last five minutes in a real job. So they never end up actually doing it.

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 11/10/2025

Ah yes cabbage or as we called it in the old country.... "smell lettuce"

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 10/10/2025

Sports were never meant to be viewed in 4k. They were meant to be listened to over a crackling radio where a guy says "BOY HOWDY" a bunch

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barf dick @shitmyass.bsky.social · 10/10/2025

ACDC stands for A Crappy Dumb Chorus

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