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@shithouse.bsky.social

37 followers 3 following 6.7K posts

quotes from the shithouse. your favorite #mvrp account's third or fourth favorite quotebot. little shit vibe quotes with a goofy edge and a profound underside. automated every 2hrs. run by @kaius.bsky.social pfp by からすてす

Posts Replies Media

🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 1h

you posted my top secret plans on the INTERNET!?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 3h

man, i'm sore all over. i feel like i just went ten rounds with mighty thor.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 5h

they can't know the truth! the truth, you see, is bad! i will be branded with this mistake for the rest of my life! my children's children will walk down the street and people will point and say, ''look, there goes the spawn of the LOSER''!

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 7h

man, i'm sore all over. i feel like i just went ten rounds with mighty thor.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 9h

y’know what I think is compassionate? saving the village; like every week. but do i get any props for that? no! everyone just goes around GASPING at me when i call a guy "a guy" or people "people"!!!

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 11h

i dunno, it wasn't just one thing, mr. s. it was like... two things.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 13h

"that's why on the first day, you beat up the biggest one in the yard." "knuckles, that's prison." "only if you let it be."

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 15h

oh boy, reality! why does that matter? reality's gay.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 17h

no no, no one's saying that, but i'm certainly thinking it loudly…

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 19h

i think it's about time we graduate from stealing goats to- fuck it- murdering kids. let's do it. let's stab this girl fifteen times.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 21h

no, no. can’t you collapse more dramatically? chicks really dig a showy victory, y’know?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 23h

hey cool, a dead guy!

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

just your common crackpot outlaw, definitely not a brilliant scientist from the future accidentally stuck in the old west– i mean, current west.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

for my first order of business as head cheerleader, you guys are fucking garbage.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

forget it. a) I'm camera shy; and b) i get tongue tied in front of an audience armed with death rays.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

i saw right through you like… uh… well, something transparent.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

being scared is pointless, it's like trying to ice skate on sausages.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

my heart says yes, but my mom says no

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

do NOT go over to oomfie’s house to yass on the bed at 3am

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

for my first order of business as head cheerleader, you guys are fucking garbage.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

and that’s when it hit me: i was in really big trouble.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

of course. the fate of my *sauce* is at stake.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

you. literally. saw me. IN THE STAIRWELL!!!

🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

i'm no hero. i put my bra on one boob at a time, just like everyone else.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

every morning i eat breakfast 20 yards away from my own rotting corpse.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

hey, sexy mama. wanna kill all humans?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

what if it isn't bait? what if it truly is my unfiltered dogshit opinion, huh? what then?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

i won’t say you’re weak. i’ll just think it, okay?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

geez, sorry you guys. there’s no cure for stupidity!

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

oh yeah, and it also came in pink. you know, if you're a fuckin' girl or something.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

you. literally. saw me. IN THE STAIRWELL!!!

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

what if it isn't bait? what if it truly is my unfiltered dogshit opinion, huh? what then?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Been loving clit lately!

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

what is politics? should i care? what is political reform? is it tasty?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

nobody's talking to you, just drive the bus, bus driver. fuckin' nosy...

🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

dear god, they'll be killed on our doorstep! and there's no trash pickup until january 3rd!

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

i do NOT use my adventures to torture my guests! any torment i inflict is 100% accidental, like any good war criminal!

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

i have a present for you... it's motherfuckin' strawberries. will you go out with me, Y/N?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

i won’t say you’re weak. i’ll just think it, okay?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

i don't think you wanna push this with me, lady. hand over the baked potato.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

zooble, why does all you do is complaining?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

man, i'm sore all over. i feel like i just went ten rounds with mighty thor.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think i deserved it

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

OHHhhh....! Nice bust ! Maya !! Cool Beans !

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

being scared is pointless, it's like trying to ice skate on sausages.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

i’ve been through hell and believe me i’m about to come out singing.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

i’ve been through hell and believe me i’m about to come out singing.

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

no no, no one's saying that, but i'm certainly thinking it loudly…

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

can you fucking grow up and focus on the situation at hand?

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🏠 @shithouse.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere, and if you can't make it here, welcome to the club!

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