Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 20hThis was a blast to do again. Only struggled a little to remember how to talk to other human beings like a normal person. 1252
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 30/09/2026The C64 version is giving me a sense of temporal vertigo. Cursed artifact that's gonna snap me back to 1986. The last forty years can't be allowed to happen. 171
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 25/09/2026In retrospect The Pizza Fuckler maybe wasn't the best idea for a mascot. 6252
Reposted by Sharkey 🦈Lost Turntable @lostturntable.bsky.social · 11/09/2026For years I was suffering from a debilitating condition called Sleep Related Painful Erections. I may look happy in this picture, but I was in living hell. Content warning: I get into graphic medical detail, and discuss suicidal thoughts. (Reposted with better header) medium.com/@jameseldred...medium.comMy Penis Tried To Kill MeContent warning: This post deals with graphic depictions of a medical condition that involves the penis, the prostate, and related body… 1813622
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 24/09/2026This one always bugs my shit right out on account of Final Fight is *right there.* It has exactly one cop, and he's a corrupt piece of shit that tries to shoot you. 1174
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 23/09/2026This week forty years ago we were blessed with episode 2 of The New Monkees, wherein Marty fell asleep on a copy machine. Numerous duplicate Martys were set loose in the mansion. Wackiness ensued. There were no survivors. 0114
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 23/09/2026You are trying to make friends. Roll 1d4, your new acquaintance has decided that you are a 1: vampire 2: witch 3: robot 4: egg They cannot be dissuaded from this conviction. 190
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 19/09/2026what if we bring back Aki Ross except with gross vibes and also it can't talk good. 2141
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Looking forward to the default JRPG post apocalyptic future where we're fighting each other with swords and matchlocks and shit while collecting DVDs you need to bring to an apparent fuckin wizard who is like holy shit, have you not seen Mean Girls? Hang on I just need to find the right cable. 2314
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 12/09/2026*explaining to the kids* "I'm older than chicken nuggets." *eyes glowing, rising upward* "I am older than Happy Meals" *lightning arcs while funnel clouds form in the sky* "I AM OLDER THAN RANCH DRESSING" 1298
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 12/09/2026I refuse to recognize any of this unless Wolverine is a smelly little bastard who sleeps with a body pillow that's just a map of Japan. 1170
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 09/09/2026Padding out my resume like Possesses mass that can affect celestial objects Expels superheated breath up to 311 Kelvin Completely replaces 98% of its own atoms every year Composed primarily of an acid that can dissolve most substances Word, Excel 0250
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 09/09/2026If you change your haircut I will not recognize you. Meanwhile if someone is wearing five pounds of star trek makeup I'm like "holy shit that's Iggy Pop." I'm either very specifically faceblind or just racist against humans. 1161
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 07/09/2026remember when ppl were like hey maybe don't make kids work 12 hour days and can we have weekends off and the government was like fuck you have some bombs 0207
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Some day I'm gonna finish the stupidest fucking Commodore 64 exclusive adventure RPG and then you'll all be sorry. 4272
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Egg Corridor is still a fuckin bop. m.youtube.com/watch?v=cy9e...m.youtube.comCave Story OST - T09: Mischievious Robot (Egg Corridor)YouTube video by Frygoon 34516
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Kermit and Miss Piggy are both members of the same species that exhibits extreme sexual dimorphism. 2215
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Put me back in the matrix. I want to be a mediocre white guy in the 90s who is bored with his safe life at the end of history and wishes he could fight in a mythologized war of ideas. Or a just war against fascists. You know, like his parents and grandparents. But without actually having to do that. 0140
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Deltarune is to Undertale as Desperation is to The Regulators as Jojo parts 1-6 are to parts 7-9 1111
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 01/09/2026When I disabled all the AI shit in gmail it unceremoniously dumped about thirty thousand bits of junk mail from my spam folder to my inbox. Which is breathtakingly petty, sure, but I finally unsubscribed from a bunch of shit and cancelled services I forgot about so joke's on you, fuckers. 2291
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 31/08/2026"What a fool you are. I'm a god. How can you kill a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. No Recall or Intervention can work in this place. Come. Lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy." *Stabs heart* 070
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Sometimes I think some shit like "all cops should be required to carry malpractice insurance." Then I remember, no, all cops should be dissolved in acid. 3201
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Celebrating a decade of ordering the exact same twelve pack of hot pink pirate flag booty shorts because of gay autism. 0171
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 25/08/2026I'm not a religious person and I don't care to attach cosmic significance to celebrities, but I can't not feel like one of the last remaining pillars of the world just got kicked out from under it. Like a load bearing crystal shattered or one of the Tzadikim is gone or something. 1244
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Goddammit every time I open my phone he's like Oh what's up we doing something? No, keep playing with your ninja turtles you adorable piece of shit. 2321
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Flooring it in my time machine, passing dudes on their way to kill hitler so I can get to ten cent beer night at Cleveland stadium on June 4th 1974 2193
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Step 1: Summon skeletons Step 2: Summon skeletons Step 3: Summon skeletons Step 4: Summon skeletons Step 5: Summon skeletons ... I dunno that's all I've got 7211
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 16/08/2026"I could fix everything if I were just made immortal dictator of Earth," I say as my 100th SimCity catches fire and sinks into the sea. 3246
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 15/08/2026This upcoming batch of kids will probably never lick an envelope and get a paper cut on their tongue. Wishing that shit on people probably dies with us, unless we bomb ourselves back to sending letters. 1100
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Quentin Quire is a good character actually, and I'm not just saying that because I'm always one bottle of pink manic panic away from a spot-on zero effort cosplay. 061
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Need a hack where Homely and Ugly are like you know what fuck all y'all and don't show up. 0143
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 03/08/2026somethingsomething somethingsomething chicken cherry cola 🎶 5121
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Got the potato one of those puzzle toys where you put treats behind little doors. Asshole proceeds to sequentially open only the doors with treats, eat them all one at a time, then *closed all the fucking doors* and looked at me like what the hell was the point of that then. 2201
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 20/07/2026Being bored by Marvel movies doesn't make me smarter than you. I am smarter than you but that's not why. 1183
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 20/07/2026Popular thing that everyone likes is stupid, actually. You should feel bad for liking it. 2130
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 12/07/2026Satan is like hold on Mitch, I'm getting another call 1254
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 11/07/2026Thought the night would be cool enough out that the wasps might be dormant so I could do a little sneaky mass murder. It wasn't and they weren't. Expecting a knock at the door and it'll be ten thousand wasps in a trench coat like COME OUT WE JUST WANT TO TALK. 2150
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Wish I'd saved the 1up blog where I said it's impossible to put a camera in glasses without looking like a pervert Elvis Costello cosplayer cus I did not expect that to be the one wisecrack that'd be super relevant twenty years later. 0371
Sharkey 🦈 @sharkey.bsky.social · 04/07/2026You can fault Magneto for calling his guys the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants but you know damn well if he had like The Party of Evil Queers there'd be a line out the door for that shit. 0275