Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 20/04/2026There's an entire sub-genre of Youtube reaction videos that is just "black people being surprised that white people can be good at things," and it's fucking hilarious. 100
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 06/07/2025Having learned more about Mary Lou Retton's politics, I hereby disavow my earlier skeet about wanting to see her play Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 06/07/2025Justice is a pay-to-win game with macrotransactions. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 25/12/2024Am I the only one who genuinely wants to see The Night The Reindeer Died from the intro to Scrooged? Not to mention a live production of A Christmas Carol starring Mary Lou Retton as Tiny Tim. That’s quality programming. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 25/12/2024Remember the height of the pandemic, when the government just cancelled rent and absolutely nothing bad happened? I remember. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 19/12/2024It’s bizarre seeing people continue to act like AOC is some maverick champion of the working class. The hype train should have ended the moment she voted to strike-break for the railroad barons. That was a disqualifying vote. They won’t get better if we keep letting them get away with these things. 100
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 16/12/2024I want a reboot of All in the Family where Archie is exactly the same as he was in 1972, but Gloria and Meathead were born in 2014. “Ehh, who’s skibidi terlet? Why can’t youse kids talk like normal human beings? Eeeediiith!” 010
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 11/12/2024Crazy watching the narrative rapidly shift from “what a hero” to “this is no way to do things!!” by alleged progressives posting smarmy memes and tearfully opining about the “kind of world” they want to live in. Fuck right off with your status-quo bullshit. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 11/12/2024While it is very, very funny to imagine the McDonald’s narc getting screwed out of his reward money, it isn’t going to happen. The monied dickhead class is absolutely terrified by the class solidarity they saw over the past week, and they know they need collaborators if they want to survive. 100
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 11/12/2024I never thought it was possible for there to be a Luigi sexier than Mario’s brother, but here we are. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 08/12/2024Bands with amazing songs everyone knows, but nobody seems to remember the artists: The Band - The Weight, The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, Up On Cripple Creek. The Last Waltz is the greatest concert of all time. The Grassroots - Midnight Confession, Live For Today, too many to list here. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 08/12/2024It’s interesting how bad actors co-opt popular movements, slogans, and ideas. For example, United Healthcare co-opted the concept and iconography of unity, but we see now that true unity is 95% of the internet coming together to simultaneously piss on that CEO’s grave. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 08/12/2024I have been up for three hours and two minutes. I have finally finished taking a shower and putting on fresh underwear. WHERE DOES THE TIME GO I lament as I lie in bed aimlessly scrolling through dozens of open browser tabs. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 08/12/2024Anyone else ever put off going poop because you’re just not in the mood? 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 08/12/2024The United Healthcare CEO shooter can divide by zero. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 08/12/2024It’s embarrassing watching alleged progressives continue to fawn over the Hunter Biden pardon. That pardon was corrupt as hell, and undermines the concept of justice that the left pretends to believe in. Oligarchs doing oligarch stuff does not become good just because they’re your oligarchs. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 07/12/2024Democrats: “We’ve tried nothing, and we’re all out of ideas.” Voters: “Have you tried gun control?” Democrats: “What did I just say?” Voters: “How about universal h…” Democrats: “NOOOOOOOthing…” 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 07/12/2024Democrats in 2040: “How can we reach our voters?” “I know! We can remind them that at least we’re not Donald Trump.” [Thinking] “You know, that has failed us the last four election cycles in a row, but THIS TIME it might just be crazy enough to work.” 010
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 07/12/2024“Statistical Kowalski” would be a great name for a band. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 07/12/2024Crowd-sourcing names for the revolutionary who plugged that United Healthcare prick. So far, I’ve heard The Claims Adjuster and The Actuary, and those are both so good I’m not sure they can be beaten. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 06/12/2024There are 100 kinds of people: those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 06/12/2024My body knows I have work in the morning and I need to be asleep, but my brain wants to shitpost and solve Advent of Code problems. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 06/12/2024I have work in the morning. It’s 4:00am. I HAVE DEFEATED THE SANDMAN, but at what cost? At what cost? 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 06/12/2024Why is it always something bad? Why is it always, “There’s a bullet out there with your name on it?” How come it’s never, “There’s a warm croissant out there with your name on it?” 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 06/12/2024That health douche getting whacked really has me thinking: There could be a bullet out there with my name on it. Thanks to my trusty Dymo labeler and a .38 round I found rattling around with some breath mints in my car’s cup holder, I am now impervious to ranged attacks. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 05/12/2024There is nothing more progressive than posting 1,000 times blaming voters for not voting for a supposedly leftist candidate who spent her entire campaign bragging about how much she loved guns and how wet she was to keep supplying Israel with arms to prosecute a genocide. 210
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 05/12/2024I asked the alien visitors if they could bring us world peace. They called me fat and told me to go fuck myself. Also, they were drinking Busch Light. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 03/12/2024What's the most unwinnable game of fuck/marry/kill? I say it's your grandma, your other grandma, and the third person doesn't really matter. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 03/12/2024Bluesky+: Fewer Nazis. Blueskey-: Orders of magnitude more losers publicly hornyposting about their sisters' throbbing cocks and teen wolves fucking them in the woods while trans vampire wytch covens watch and play soggy biscuit. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 03/12/2024I’m not really sure who @jeffgeerling.com is, but he was in my dreams last night. We had gone to see Sebastian Maniscalco, who’d had to jump down from a 2nd floor balcony to physically eject a heckler who was threatening to sue him. In the parking lot before driving away, Jeff told me he loved me. 100
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 02/12/2024@bsky.app needs an “anti-follow” option. I want to see how many people hate you. The lack of a follow does not give people enough power to show their feelings. We need to see how many people actively disapprove. This would also make it harder to buy your way to prominence with fake followers. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 02/12/2024The serving size on a can of Pringles should be “one can of Pringles,” because anything else is a lie. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 02/12/2024Everyone is celebrating the Hunter Biden pardon like it’s a huge win for the concept of justice, when in reality it’s just another reminder that the divide isn’t between Republican and Democrat, it’s between the rich and powerful and the rest of us. They simply don’t live under the same rules we do. 110
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 02/12/2024I have a truly marvelous joke about turtles which this text box is too small to contain. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 02/12/2024Me: [Lying in the dark with my eyes closed, fantasizing in great detail about how I will handle the taxes when I win the lottery] Sleep: [Nowhere to be found] 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 01/12/2024Thumbs-up/thumbs-down is the only meaningful rating metric. 100
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 01/12/2024I am always surprised when other people are surprised that someone who OBVIOUSLY SUCKS turns out to suck. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 30/11/2024Question: Am I supposed to follow the people who follow me? I’ve seen it mentioned, but I have no idea what the etiquette is. I am not good with phones, computers, social media, media on its own, socializing, dancing, sex, identifying the region a wine is from, knowing how many characters I am allow 110
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 30/11/2024July Talk’s first two albums had an amazing raw rock sound. I listened to some of their new stuff earlier this year. I hate to use such a cliché, but it felt like they’d completely lost their edge. The new tracks I heard were all pop-infested navel-gazey pseudorock. It really bummed me out. 110
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 29/11/2024The things I don't like are all terrible abominations that should be illegal and the fact that you like them reflects poorly on you as a person. The things I do like are good actually. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 29/11/2024Imagine getting rhymed at so hard that you require police intervention. 100
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Born too late to buy cheap real estate, born too early to understand meme stocks. 010
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 28/11/2024I like using William Shatner to anchor things in time. James Dean: ethereal, legendary, seems to belong to another time and place. Barely a month older than Shatner. The USSR: founded, rose to world prominence, ruled a chunk of the map for decades, then crumbled. Born only 8 years before Shatner. 020
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 28/11/2024If we all make small, subtle errors in our posts that are easy for humans to correct for, but difficult for machines, maybe we can stop the large language marbles from stealing our women. 020
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 28/11/2024In Virtuosity, the Big Bad AI says he has fifty terabytes of storage. In 1995, I almost blew out my larynx scoffing at that ludicrous claim. Today I have almost twice that haphazardly connected by tangled cables to the cast-off old desktop I used to host my Unraid server. They cost me like $1,500. 120
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Just to be safe, I’m poisoning the AI well by delicately crafting artisanal shitposts consisting of vapid word salads that are neither funny nor interesting, even accidentally, and contain no verifiable facts. Join me in the resistance, brothers and sisters. 010
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Garbage in, garbage out. Then garbage back in, and out, and back in, then out, peter cetera, peter cetera, peter cetera. Thus is the AI centipede cycle of regurgitative learning. Steal our jobs? Fucking lol. 000
Bruce Rumspringasteen @sharkanetics.bsky.social · 27/11/2024One thing Bluesky is teaching me is that smug, repetitive memes and bad takes are not any better when they come from people who nominally share my politics. 010
