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ShampooCake

@shampoocake.bsky.social
26 followers 18 following 1.2K posts

A gay reagent.

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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 9h
"Ich wünsche dir einen schönen Unfall auf dem Weg nach Hause." Kollege 1 zu Kollege 2
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 12h
It's Friday, the Weekend, the real me dies at woooork!
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 12h
Idea for a horror movie: The Elder Ejit: Late Shift
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
"Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment... at all?" "I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere." -The Nanny
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I took a pen from work, didn't even notice it was still in my pocket. They're currently in the process of breeding horses to have me quartered. No need to hang me beforehand. I'm already hung.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
How do y'all causally forget to mention you're engaged? Like, for months?
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
durex should make a condom laced with chilli and call it spicy time
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
*googles* how do I tell if my toaster is jealous of my microwave
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
*googles* does my toaster like me?
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Done with work, time to slip into my hermit cosplay
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I hate people who make other people cry at work. Makes me want to make them cry.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Dino nuggies are essential in recovering from the flu. They make you feel better almost instantly and revitalize a battered soul.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Sometimes sitting on the sofa feels so good. Especially if I'm going to be late to work if I keep sitting there.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The absolute horror of training new hires and finding out they can't do basic math or interact with customers in a pretty lax setting. Here's to a new day. Cheers!
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Shift? On Sunday? I thought this was a christian country. Shame upon you for disrespecting THE LORDs decree.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I love how we went from 32ºC to 16ºC in two days. Like flipping a switch that also electrocutes my dick and balls.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Just let a man don his armor and halberd to go to work. We have so little...
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I don't swallow, I slurp.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Sorry, I can't date you. I have an imaginary bf I use to imagine what it's like to have a bf. He might get mad.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Doing a "Lady and the Tramp" with annother guy but it's a dick.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I love my local river. It's shallow, full of shit and disappears when it get's hot outside. We have so much in common.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
I had this misogynistic regular yell about his order being wrong and I said "That's really feminine behavior." Did I get in trouble? Not really. Was it worth it? Oh yes.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Ah, you're an ally you say? Prove it, suck me off.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
So happy the season changed. One more day of Summer and I would have been a little gay puddle.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I cook and I clean but let me tell you, I got no ring
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Call me a flute bc if you put your mouth on my ass I'll make some horrific noise
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Bring me a bottle of peach ice tea and you can have my peach
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I love it when costumers call in 2 minutes before closing. Like, Miss, we were open for 11 hours. Is that not enough?
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Hey baby boo, let me frost your tips.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I don't know what my current level of "sick of this shit" is but I know it's pretty high
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
I will vibe code an app that hacks all nearby bluetooth buttplugs and sets them to max intensity
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
We're about to hit 40ºC. No need to go to hell, it came to us.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Summer makes it painfully clear how little shade there is in public places.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
It's too warm to work. It's too warm to sleep. It's too warm to eat. It's too warm to anything.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
I've got human fatigue
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Try handing me a 50€ bill for your 2€ coffee. I dare you. You'll not be coming back here.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
I love paying 4 euros for a monster at the gas station bc I was too lazy to go the shop two hours ago
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
I could turn a piece of burnt toast into a forest fire, that's my special skill
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Ppl be saying things like "I can fix him" meanwhile I'm over here going "I'm gonna make you worse bc that's what I do"
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Highly inflated wealth and ego
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Reposted by ShampooCake
Der Volksverpetzer @volksverpetzer.de · 12/06/2026
Die rechte Presse lässt die Artikel mit KI schreiben, die dann von rechten Bots auf X geteilt werden, und die einzigen echten Menschen sind ein paar verirrte Hauptstadtjournalisten, die das lesen und glauben, jetzt das ganze Spektrum der Meinung der Bevölkerung zu kennen.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
I've been on here for about thirty minutes and I'm speechless. I thought I'd be doing some shitposting.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
What the fuck
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Reposted by ShampooCake
Alejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net · 10/06/2026
THERE IS AN ACTIVE POGROM IN NORTHERN IRELAND. FASCISTS IN SKULL MASKS ARE GOING DOOR TO DOOR PULLING MIGRANTS OUT OF THEIR HOMES AND SETTING THEM ON FIRE.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
It's starting
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
I may be gay but I'd gladly get choked out by B2 from Nier:Automata
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Can we start wearing decorative armor and weapons around? I want to start my day in a full plate armor set and a halberd to buy some bread.
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Screwed infrastructure? Yes, we have. We have lots.
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Reposted by ShampooCake
PaulaInTulsaOK #IsHeDeadYet? @paulaintulsaok.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
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ShampooCake @shampoocake.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Curious, do ya'll like your own posts? I dunno, I feel like that's like jerking off in public.
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