Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I read a PAGEFUL of Good Energy by Casey and Calley Means and learned that I should eat CELERY for its ANTIFLU properties and I should shock myself with low VOLTAGE electricity ("the goodest energy of all") to prevent malaria. Huh! 020
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 04/10/2026After we HONEYMOONED, she started VETOING everything I wanted to do. She KNEECAPPED my fun with WHOPPING number of rules. No BACCHANALIA, she said. No penile IMPLANT, she said. No riding an endangered WHOOPING crane, she said. No riding an angry train CONDUCTOR, she said. 010
Reposted by Scrabble Grams Passages“Eerie Pall” gHostetler @phostetlerart.bsky.social · 03/10/2026October means it’s Tom Servo: Transsexual Vampire Dandy Month. #mst3k 061
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 29/09/2026"Oh, the Pigeon's quarterback is sacked! The scrimmage line moves five yards UPFIELD. This certainly is a DYNAMIC game, right Bill?" said one football announcer SOAPILY. "More DYNAMIC than the Pigeon's quarterback, who seems to have gotten more brain trauma," replied the CAUSTIC announcer (Bill). 🏈 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 28/09/2026...and "BLACKEN the Tuna" is rounding the corner and will easily OUTPACE "I Won Her in the DIVORCE," who is slowing. Meanwhile, "Horsin' Around" is still at the starting gate, possibly because someone forgot to remove her NOSEBAG. 030
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Happy EQUINOX, have a JELLYBEAN! This means either our fields are now PLOWABLE or that the corrosion resistance of CHROMIUM is now NULLIFIED, I forget which. 110
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026[Showing off rock] This ancient arrowhead is definitely MANMADE - what, you think this kind of craftsmanship could be the work of a clever FALCON, or the beasts that BECRAWL upon the forest floor? [Turn rock over to reveal text "23rd EDITION. Made in Malaysia"] Well, this just goes to prove my point 020
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I have to get on my SOAPBOX here; if troops BIVOUAC on my farm without permission it's a violation of the spirit of the 3rd amendment! I don't care if they need to put their hair into CORNROW in my corn row or drill their CAVITY in my CAVITY or if the Russians are on the next farm - git off my land! 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 23/09/2026"You see, George BAILEE, ever since you were a yolk and ALBUMEN, you've really had a wonderful life!" wrote the CORDIAL but not SLAVISH guardian angel. "I think your grasp on biology is weak," replied the banker. "And please don't spell my name that way!" 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 22/09/2026The ELEGANT ladies at my mother's retirement home FACTOR in the number of players when dealing for CANASTA, while the uncouth ones log on a computer BROWSER to play online craps. 000
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 19/09/2026The drunk professor boasted that he could out-subtract and OUTFISH anyone on CAMPUS, but got so blotto he confused the MINUEND with the subtrahend, and failed to convince the dean to AIRDROP lake trout into the CAMPUS pond, so somehow he caught negative five fish. 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Oh, BUSGIRL! BUSGIRL! Don't blow a GASKET, but we seem to have left a VISIBLE, nay, a COPIOUS mess at our table. Be good and clean it up, won't you? Ow! Not with my head! 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Yesterday's: I say, old chum, the LAXNESS with which you've supervised the CHORUS has got the priest all a twitter. I'm afraid we've got to SUSPEND the CHORUS until further notice, and replace it with a recording of King Charles singing "The Lord's My Shepherd." Right. Well, CHEERIO! 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Albatross Prosecutor: It was a raven that PITCHED the idea that the corvids PURLOIN Birdtown's ANTIOXIDANT-rich blueberries, but they all agreed to FACILITATE his plan. Only one issue was UNHANDLED - the bluejays couldn't stop making noise. "IMPARTIAL" all-CHICKADEE jury: [angry chatter] 140
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 12/09/2026The BOARISH GOATEE-sporting man tries to stuff a person into a PIRANHA tank, only to find that his last victim, somehow still alive, continues to OCCLUDE the pipe leading to the tank. 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 11/09/2026I've been wondering this myself. Like it's not (just) that Disney sucks, but that there's no "right" way to do Muppets in 2026 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Our LOVABLE new head of GLOBAL relations, Lakshmi Gonzales, has ample qualifications. She's driven a MINIBUS in Indonesia *and* purchased PREPAID wireless in Sri Lanka! 001
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 10/09/2026There was a BOOMLET in the population of the Perturbed Parrot (ENDEMIC to the AMAZON) with MINIMAL management intervention. Those birds like to fuck! 🦜🦜 010
Reposted by Scrabble Grams Passages“Eerie Pall” gHostetler @phostetlerart.bsky.social · 09/09/2026If'n y'alls gonna be at @smallpressexpo.bsky.social this weekend, pick up a copy of the FREE comix newspaper Magic Bullet, with my newest comic, AMERINOMICON in it. Guaranteed more poop jokes per square inch than any other comic at the whole expo. #comicsky #comics #magicbulletpatreon.comMagic Bullet #25 | Paul HostetlerI've been running comics in the Washington, DC free comics newspaper "Magic Bullet," available only in the finer news stands, comics shops, 112
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 04/09/2026I drove through a massive POTHOLE, then parked ATHWART another POTHOLE to check for DAMAGE. Is it too much to ask for a road surface that's TABULAR?? 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Winning 7th grade science fair projects: 3) building a PINHOLE camera; 2) turning waste oil into BIOFUEL; 1) attempting to ENGAGE with the world in a MINDFUL fashion (a cognitive psychology experiment). 020
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 02/09/2026At first GLANCE through its records, this book BINDERY seems to have worked on quite an odd variety of volumes: the third MANDALA of the Rigveda, a DYNASTY tie-in novel/cookbook (Alexis Cooks Up Revenge), and The Axis of Weevils: A Weevil Identification Guide. 000
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 01/09/2026If your leg is injured, whether by a BOWHEAD, another cetacean, or something BOVINE, and it starts to PULSATE, then ATROPHY, and then you lose it altogether, rethink your plans of revenge. Instead, call Hurdy and Gurdy. Hurdy and Gurdy: we sue animals! 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 31/08/2026How do we create a new baby BOOMLET? It's counterintuitive, but demographers say the best way may be to RELIEVE stress on potential parents by banning the DEVICE that spreads CAYENNE on their genitalia. 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 30/08/2026On this, the 250th anniversary of our NATIONHOOD, I contemplate our country's essence. Can it be found on the endless MOTORWAY? In our UNCHECKED aggression towards smaller countries? In our never-quite-DORMANT original sins of slavery and native genocide? 120
Reposted by Scrabble Grams PassagesAlexandra Petri @petridishes.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Lake America Grates (Again) www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...theatlantic.comEverything Is Called America NowEvery lake is Lake America, and every Gulf is the Gulf of America. 1418542
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 27/08/2026"Why do you insist on taking ASPIRIN? It can DISRUPT proper clotting. Better pain relievers ABOUND!" "I'm not FINICKY - just a traditionalist. You can have my ASPIRIN when you pry it from my cold grey stomach ulcers!" 011
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 26/08/20262011: In that BANDIT and religious FANATIC ridden ENCLAVE of Afghanistan, coalition soldiers quickly found that the safest thing to do was stay in their fort and watch "The Catty Canadian COOKOFF." 010
Reposted by Scrabble Grams PassagesBob the Janitor @krillerpenguin.bsky.social · 23/08/2026I recently read the old story about how the USS Reliant in The Wrath of Khan was made with its nacelles under the ship because producer Harve Bennett approved the design looking at it upside down and the production team went with it. I guess this is unrelated because that was an accident. 011
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Every year, me and my TACITURN, former PRODIGY friends get together and start QUOTING the movie "GROUNDHOG Day." "I'll have a turkey with PROVOLONE." "Pitch me some BITUMEN." "Trick question! Lemmy HEADBANGED more than anyone could ever HEADBANG." "Pay no attention to the man behind the CURTAIN..." 021
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 21/08/2026I SUSPECT Aarni Aaltonen of being a completely AMORAL scammer, the kind who would sell his own mother a "fancy" DUOTONE print for 50 FINMARK, even though they're easy to make in Photoshop these days. 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Jesse Bob, you better UNTHINK this policy of total SECRECY. EITHER we tell the nice CENSUS lady how many people live in our shack or we won't get representation to throw away on culture war candidates! 020
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 18/08/2026The batter hits the ball up and towards the third BASEMAN. He gets under it - he's calculating AZIMUTH and range - what's this? He succumbs to a heretofore UNACTED upon desire to have a DAIKON snack! The ball lands beside him! But the batter is also eating a DAIKON instead of running! -DAIKON ad 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Hello, is this the orphanage? I'd like to FILIATE a CAPABLE child / CAMERA assistant. One that's strong enough to haul my gear down a canyon or up a VOLCANO. In return, I'm willing to supply room and board and be called "Dad." 🌋 010
Reposted by Scrabble Grams Passages21st Century Schizoid Tran @grayathena.bsky.social · 17/08/2026just keeps happening 4697138
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Frat president: Then after we BAPTIZE the new recruits with a COWPLOP, we take a secret photo. Don't GEOTAG the photo, just in case it escapes containment. Haha, this will be great! I only wish we had some NARWHAL feces to use! 010
Reposted by Scrabble Grams PassagesBob the Janitor @krillerpenguin.bsky.social · 09/08/2026You actually cannot spell American Flag Blue without the letters A-L-G-A-E. 054
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 09/08/2026He chattered incessantly and FLORIDLY, like an angry CATBIRD, a salesman for a MULTILEVEL marketing opportunity, or a bat trying to ECHOLOCATE. I suggested he eat some CHOCOLATE or HONEYDEW, figuring he was EXPENDING too much energy. "No, my friend, I can yammer all day," he said with a smile. 020
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 08/08/2026The DEEJAY we hired was so UNSLICK that he only played samba and still wore a Nelly-style BANDAGE on his face in the year 2026. *And* he refused our requests to play "Hot in Herre." What choice did we have? We SAMBAED the night away! 020
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 07/08/2026I'm going to FORBEAR from robbing you and starting a life as a BANDITO, not because of my conscience or my MYALGIA, but because I'm feeling DROWSY. Goodnight! 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 06/08/2026After the ceremony, the guests walked down the FOOTWAY to the GAZEBO, pausing to congratulate the groom and give a BALEFUL look to the bride, who had entered not down the aisle but via a low flying helicopter and SKYHOOK. 000
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 05/08/2026A challenging part of machine politics is when you have to REFEREE disputes between constituents of your BOSSDOM. Two guys each claim a FULGENT FLAGON is theirs, and I'm like, hey! What the fuck is a FULGENT FLAGON? 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Too bashful for your party No way I'm disco dancing I'm an introvert, you know what that means I EFFACE myself on the CATWALK Yeah, on the CATWALK On the CATWALK, yeah I EFFACE myself on the CATWALK I'm shy BECAUSE my EMPATHY I'm sure you're tired of me Yeah, I'm too bashful for this song 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 02/08/2026After months of INACTIVITY, I CHANNELED Lin-Manuel to write and direct a musical about the Crusades in which each pro-war TROUBADOUR performs DANCEHALL. I really thought this juxtaposition was OPTIMAL, but found I had to TOUGHEN the performers to handle IMPENDING fruit and an occasional BRICKBAT. 011
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 01/08/2026To all the creeps out there, to those that CATCALL, or are HANDSY, or who wear a PERFUMY body spray that can be smelled blocks away: we will OUTWEAR you. Women are strong; creeps are just creepy. 010
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 29/07/2026The BALLBOY with the AVIATOR shades was PERSONA non grata, due to his DECEIT, treachery, and sometimes making off with the players' balls. 000
Scrabble Grams Passages @sgpassage.bsky.social · 27/07/2026We're POORISH, so we're not in first class eating a POPOVER on the poop deck of the GALLEY. We're in fifteenth class, meaning we have to row, especially in broiling or SUBZERO temperatures. 000