Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 01/06/2026Driving by the skate park, one little kid skating alone, and seven vultures watching them from the tree above. 010 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 06/03/2026If you get mad hearing everyone wonder if they have the tism, it’s probably because you have the tism 001 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 11/02/2026A company called Johnson Controls, I don’t want to know what they really do 011 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 06/01/2026Looks at Jesus Looks at 15 single footsteps in the sand Back at Jesus Me: So you’re saying I’m fat? J: I mean, you’ve put on a few.. M: You’re an asshole 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 27/12/2025Years ago I had a Waldo Twitter acct. I’d just search for “Where’s Waldo” posts and pop in to say, “ohp, you found me, good job” 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 25/12/2025The house from A Christmas Story was a fire trap. The movie is a dream Ralph is having, while in a coma, after being the only survivor of a tragic Christmas morning fire. Really makes you think 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 21/12/2025Tis the season you dirty little minxes www.tiktok.com/t/ZTrn7yJHf/tiktok.comReposting this gem, for all your freaks out there! Credit @TheRescignos on YouTube Lyrics/music by Mike Hadge, starring Caitlin Thurnauer, Rebecca Weiner, Mary Falkenstern, with Paul Rescigno and Rob...TikTok video by Severedthumb 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 18/11/2025My Wife: Do you want to try something a little different? Me: 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 23/09/2025Crazy day at the beach; My son found a still working lighter in the surf, Some very energetic women stopped on the beach to take pic for us, we bumped into those women in the next town down the coast, one was trying to light a cigarette, my son pulled the lighter out to help, it was her lighter. 030 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 17/09/2025Robert Redford was the Paul Newman of Keanu Reeves RIP 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 07/09/2025I miss the simpler times, when we all just piled on kanye 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 03/09/2025I don’t believe himapnews.comTrump says social media conspiracies about his death were wrongPresident Donald Trump says social media conspiracies over his death were wrong. Asked if he had seen posts indicating he was no longer living, the president initially said "Really? 020 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 02/09/2025Me, trying to be funny as the plane crashes: and what is up with airline food? 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 22/08/2025Gone too late apnews.com/article/jame... James Dobson, Focus on the Family founder and key leader on the Christian right, dies at 89apnews.comJames Dobson, Focus on the Family founder and key leader on the Christian right, dies at 89James Dobson, a child psychologist who founded the conservative ministry Focus on the Family and was a politically influential campaigner against abortion and LGBTQ+ rights, has died at age 89. 030 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 10/08/2025Me, living like a caveman:….and that’s the diet I eat, just like cavemen did My guest: that still doesn’t explain these dildos carved from stone 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 31/07/2025*Forces my cat to drop a chipmunk* extreme Gandalf voice: RUN YOU FOOL! *Chipmunk sits there pretending to be invisible* 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 26/07/2025An MLM scheme but it’s just me getting my back scratched without having to return the favor 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 25/07/2025Trader Joe’s founders real name is Tradermelius Josephelston 010 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 25/07/2025How did I simultaneously know and not know that slapping was a televised sport? www.tiktok.com/t/ZT6hYc7LQ/tiktok.comA monster KO to keep his unbeaten streak alive 💪 What's next for @mr.makini.manu in the super heavyweight division? [ Rewatch all the action from $VET #PowerSlap14 NOW on YouTube ]TikTok video by Power Slap 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 24/07/2025Now Hulk Hogan? The universe is fucking with us, just do it already 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 24/07/2025*see something, say something* Me: Officer, I was looking in a mirror and saw this Thicc Ass! 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 14/07/2025I did a standby for a free “community pancake feed” (cult event). The sermon to this mostly black group, was about how god feels about sinners. A game was started where the kids were grouped as good/bad, where the good were the white and bad were the black. This pastor just about didn’t make it out. 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 07/07/2025*Gets leg bit off by a shark, Me: point me to the closest scale 010 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 07/07/2025Me raising my hand at the first civil war meeting: when do we get the cute green outfits? 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 02/07/2025Sitting here wondering what it would be like to excrete like a slug 010 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 13/06/2025Beginning to think, my scout masters assertion that the best way to fight hypothermia is to undress and climb into a sleeping bag with another person, was a ploy 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 12/06/2025That was not a lie to get you naked, that was a truth that got you naked 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 11/06/2025I’ve got a structured settlement, but I don’t need cash right now. What am I supposed to do with that? 030 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 06/06/2025A bartender walks into a bar because he’s a bartender and that’s how they get to work 0239 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 30/05/2025Just landed in New York, fighting the male urge to say “get a rope” 000 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 30/05/2025I started buying Costco jeans about 15 years ago, I stopped when a girl much younger than me asked “why do you wear old man jeans” and my wife agreed 010 0
Adam @severedthumb.bsky.social · 17/05/2025Youth pastor: You know who else had fuckeable hands? 010 0
