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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Yes Michael, pants off. This is a FULL inspection. I have ta make sure yer not hidin' any nipples in any strange places! Nipple count: 2 (so far...)

Shirtless Michael Sheen is sitting on the bed and is about to remove his pants. Is it my birthday?!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

What in the nine circles o' hell is a-goin' on here?! Ye want me to spy on random blokes in the shower now?! (Nipple count 2)

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The Ineffable Society @ineffablesociety.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Oh, pancakes! Did you miss the Good Omens musical? Or need to see it again!? TIS Philly will host a viewing and pre-recorded Q&A: October 24, 2026 Langhorne, PA Check-in 12pm Events 1pm-10:30pm Join our server for the Q&A Submission, RSVP, and learn more. See you soon! 😇🥂😎 discord.gg/wJqEsk9tnD

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

My army, eh? My army is the Witchfinder Army, laddie!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Wait a minute... Newt's young lady is a WITCH?!

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Bookshop.org @bookshop.org · 06/10/2026

Anti-Prime Day starts…NOW! 🥳 Today through midnight on 10/7, enjoy free shipping site-wide, all while supporting local, independent bookstores.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Hips and ass are all well and good, I'll grant ye, but what I'm really interested in are nipples. Specifically, the exact number o' them.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Bah! Good luck finding anyone who won't get distracted by THAT!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I SEE NIPPLES! 👀 I'm happy to report that there are the correct number of them, so no witchcraft here. Carry on!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Shower Thoughts ™️ with David Tennant *speechless* NippleCount.exe has stopped working

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Aye, "Lord Dexter" IS a verrra funny name fer a cat! Are ye sure yer not a witch?

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

We shall count them on the beaches, we shall count them on the landing grounds, we shall count them in the fields and in the streets, we shall count them in the hills; we shall never surrender! 🫡 Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Aye, Lance Corporal Funky, we may be in for the long haul. I may need you to step in for me if my eyes get tired. Luckily this specimen is very easy on the eyes...

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

👀 Hmmmm... might have to spend a few hours zooming in and staring to be sure - no no, stay back, it's too dangerous! I'll do it! I don't mind a bit of danger...

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I see the wolfy one still has 2 nipples... always good to do a recount!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

@baddie48ofarse.bsky.social 2 nipples counted. You may proceed with the peeling! Carefully...

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

"COUNT. MY. NIPPLES!!!" - Michael Sheen, probably Don't mind if I do! Nipple count: 2

Michael Sheen shirtless in an open jacket with his arms flung open mid-feral scream. Mark me down as scared AND horny!

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Reposted by Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter

AltSpaceForce 🚀🇺🇲 @altspaceforce.altgov.info · 30/09/2026

Women rightfully view men as potential assailants. Men must as well & then have the courage to intervene. Not just against real time violence. Throwing a punch is easy. Call out your boys when they're being misogynistic. Unchecked words can lead to actions. Silence is acceptance. Speak up.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I'll certainly be there... just outside lyin' in the bracken, spyin' on their evil ways.... 👀

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Can I offer you tea with nine sugars? Or some condensed milk perhaps?

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

No, ye silly, I'm talkin' to the one what has no nipples. Although... yer name IS Demon... how many nipples have YE got, then? 🤨

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

*gasp* DEMON! *flicks on a lighter* By the powers invested in me by virtue o' my office o' Witchfinder, I charge ye to quit from this place and return henceforth to the place from which ye came!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

👀 Alright, that one with the wings has the correct number of nipples, but I'll need a closer look at Snake Boy.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Well, I am certified in antidemonic acupuncture. *brandishes WA pin* I hear it cures arthritis!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Nipples, eyes, @tennantshands.bsky.social 🤲, @tennantsass.bsky.social cheeks 🍑... boy, do we love things that come in twos! 😉

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Happy birthday @terryandrob.bsky.social ! How many nipples have ye go-- I mean, how many candles on yer cake?

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Hallo David, I'm Doctor Sergeant. I'll be doing your nipple check today... Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Free nipple count with the price of admission! *puts finger to ear* What's that? Oh, I'm not allowed to say that? Damn. OK... Free Witchfinder Army regulation pinprick with the price of admission! *finger to ear again* What?? That too? What are we even doing here, then?! *wanders off muttering*

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Ah, it's my patron Mr. Crowley! I'm still not entirely convinced he's not mafia...

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I have no idea what's going on here, but I do know I can count those nipples, and that's all that matters. Nipple count: 2

Shirtless Michael Sheen is looking in the mirror trying to make himself look like a crazy-looking guy in a Polaroid photo in front of him

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Found this strange lad wandering around Soho completely starkers. Good news is, he's clearly not a witch (2 nipples). Bad news is, it appears the looney bin let one loose again!

John Hamm as an amnesiac Gabriel wanders around Soho completely naked carrying a cardboard box and looking ridiculously handsome and silly

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Ah, yes, I see it now. Well no wonder, those pants have to be painted on they're so tight! What kind of a southern weirdo is this?!

More shirtless David Tennant in Fright Night pulling at the crotch of his ridiculous pants 🥵

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Aye, I think you're right... perhaps we need to enlist the expertise of @tennantshands.bsky.social for this one!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Hmmm, now this is a tough case. Crosses? Good. Pentagram? Evil. Nail polish? Yeesh. Only one way to know whether he's a witch for sure! I count 2 nipples, so I guess that's alright then. Now, I'd really like to know what his hand is doing to cause him to make that face... 👀

Shirtless David Tennant (in Fright Night) is making a very wincy face while pulling at his ridiculously tight pants.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Och, everyone's gone soft in this degenerate age. Forget about burnin' 'em, I can't even poke one with a pin once before being asked to "see my acupuncture license." What sort o' modern nonsense is that?!

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