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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

"COUNT. MY. NIPPLES!!!" - Michael Sheen, probably Don't mind if I do! Nipple count: 2

Michael Sheen shirtless in an open jacket with his arms flung open mid-feral scream. Mark me down as scared AND horny!

Reposted by Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter

AltSpaceForce 🚀🇺🇲 @altspaceforce.altgov.info · 30/09/2026

Women rightfully view men as potential assailants. Men must as well & then have the courage to intervene. Not just against real time violence. Throwing a punch is easy. Call out your boys when they're being misogynistic. Unchecked words can lead to actions. Silence is acceptance. Speak up.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I'll certainly be there... just outside lyin' in the bracken, spyin' on their evil ways.... 👀

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Hallo David, I'm Doctor Sergeant. I'll be doing your nipple check today... Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Free nipple count with the price of admission! *puts finger to ear* What's that? Oh, I'm not allowed to say that? Damn. OK... Free Witchfinder Army regulation pinprick with the price of admission! *finger to ear again* What?? That too? What are we even doing here, then?! *wanders off muttering*

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I have no idea what's going on here, but I do know I can count those nipples, and that's all that matters. Nipple count: 2

Shirtless Michael Sheen is looking in the mirror trying to make himself look like a crazy-looking guy in a Polaroid photo in front of him

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Found this strange lad wandering around Soho completely starkers. Good news is, he's clearly not a witch (2 nipples). Bad news is, it appears the looney bin let one loose again!

John Hamm as an amnesiac Gabriel wanders around Soho completely naked carrying a cardboard box and looking ridiculously handsome and silly

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Hmmm, now this is a tough case. Crosses? Good. Pentagram? Evil. Nail polish? Yeesh. Only one way to know whether he's a witch for sure! I count 2 nipples, so I guess that's alright then. Now, I'd really like to know what his hand is doing to cause him to make that face... 👀

Shirtless David Tennant (in Fright Night) is making a very wincy face while pulling at his ridiculously tight pants.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Eep! Good doggie... er, nice doggie... glad ye've got yer collar on so I can safely count yer nipples... steady on... good boy... Nipple count: 2

Feral shirtless werewolf Michael Sheen in a collar. Woof.

Werewolf Michael Sheen in a torn black shirt and a collar holding a sword and looking hot as usual

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open, period Though I suppose if Newt opened one, perhaps he'd "fix" it. Now there's an idea... 🤔

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Hallo, young David, I just need to take a quick count-- HEY!! Where're ye going?! Ye daft lad! Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Hmmm... I count 2 nipples here, but I'm pretty sure mushrooms are meant to have 0. Which means they must be witchy! Probably end up in a cauldron of potion being stirred up by some hag...

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

They forgot to include one important question: HOW MANY NIPPLES HAVE YE GOT? 🤨 Please do answer their questions, though, and ask yer friends to do the same.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

"Do we really need to do this AGAIN, Sergeant?" Aye, Michael. We need to count them EVERY 👏 SINGLE 👏 DAY 👏 Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

"Go ahead, count our nipples. We dare you!" Nipple count: 4

Michael Sheen in a gold bikini beats Carrie Fisher any day.

David Tennant, in a black tank top and miniskirt, black heels and wavy blonde wig, stares unashamedly into the camera

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

OK David, show us how many nipples ye-- *pans lower* OH. Erm... nipple counting will have to wait. 👀 @tennantshands.bsky.social there are hands in here somewhere, I think...

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Is this a witch? A Satanic priest? Billie Joe Armstrong??? I NEED ANSWERS! Nipple count: 2 (I hope)

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Aye, those greedy corporate bigjobs are covered in nipples, I assure ye! They are the evil in our midst! Or my middle name isn't Thou-Shalt-Not-Give-Thy-Money-To-Evil-Billionaires!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Sometimes the hands-on approach to nipple counting is best 😏 Bonus eyes for @tennantseyes.bsky.social ! Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

I've sent him into the jaws of doom! Even now, young Pulsifer could be suffering unimaginable tortures at the hands of the daughters of night! They could be doing all manner of things to him right at this moment! I only hope he's counting nipples! Nipple count: ??? @colleendoran.bsky.social 😉

Young Newt definitely lost count while being subjected to certain "tortures" at the hands of the daughters of night (one in particular). A panel from the Good Omens graphic novel of Newt and Anathema after they "reached oute to one another." The earth moved for everybody.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

It's easy to experience this level of inner peace and joy when you know that @theineffablecon.bsky.social is only ONE DAY AWAY! Have fun you crazy kids, and may you carry that happy feeling with you long after it's over. Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

@tennantsass.bsky.social Sorry, am I counting nipples or arse cheeks here? @tennantseyes.bsky.social Those piercing eyes are flustering me! @tennantshands.bsky.social ... HANDS! Nipple/cheek/eye/hand count: 2 🫠

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Reposted by Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter

Discworld Convention @dwcon.org · 16/08/2026

Lost property from DWCon2026! See something that’s yours? Email membership@dwcon.org to discuss how we can get it to you. Items not claimed by 31 August will be donated to charity or chucked.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

FIGHT, Michael, fight off that demon! (Looks like he forgot to use his Demon Guard.) Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

If he can count nipples, then he can count on my vote! 🫡

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

For when I'm caught without my bell, book and candle, I trust InfoWars brand Demon Guard! For the exorcist on the go! 🫡

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Um... uh... sorry, I'm having trouble concentrating on counting nipples in the face of... *gestures at everything* Nipple count: 73? I feel like I've been counting for hours...

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Michael, how many nipples have ya go-- oh, aye? Well, that's alright then. Nipple count: ✌️

Shirtless Michael Sheen is holding up two fingers. In case you weren't sure how many nipples you were looking at.

Shirtless Michael Sheen is listening intently to what you have to say

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Az: Listen, I don't want to banish you from the Garden, but Sgt. Shadwell said anyone with more than two nipples is a witch and needs to go. Adam: But I only have two nipples! Az: Then what's that really big third nipple there between your legs? Adam: ... Seriously?

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

O Romeo, Romeo, where dost thou placeth thy paws, Romeo?! 🤨 No wonder he's got an Italian name, his hands are definitely Roman! @tennantshands.bsky.social Nipple count: 4

David Tennant as Romeo is having a serious snog with his Juliet, definitely getting to second base.

A program cover from the Royal Shakespeare Company's production of Romeo and Juliet starring David Tennant as Romeo. The photo is of him and Juliet, both shirtless and locked in an intense embrace. Hubba hubba.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

OI, YOU THERE! How many nipples have ya-- OH! 😳 My apologies... sorry to interrupt. I'll just show myself out... *runs away* Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

I have been assured by the creator that this is completely witch-free art. 🫡

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Reposted by Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter

Tennant's Thighs @tennantsthighs.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Misuse of chairs, pt 1.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Are those 2 sets of pert lil' nips under those blue shirts, or are you just happy to see us, David and Michael? Nipple count: 4

David Tennant is peak adorable twink in this photo of him in a shiny gold chair wearing tiny little shorts and a mercifully tight blue shirt over which he's affixed black heart-shaped pasties with tassels. The gods are smiling upon us this day.

Michael Sheen is facing the camera directly with a professional-looking smile in a blue soccer shirt that's expertly showing off his pert nips. Oh, happy day!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

The Witchfinder Army, like any modern organization, has its share of technical difficulty. Ours is named Newt.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

The emperor has no clothes... time to COUNT THE NIPPLES! Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

This young jezebel INSISTED that I count 'em! She wouldn'tna leave me alone! Nipple count: 2

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Reposted by Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter

Tennant's Eyes @tennantseyes.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Those happy eyes needed to be joined by this light up a room smile and face! Just look at how his eyes ✨️sparkle✨️ #davidtennant

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Oh, my. This is certainly a more, shall we say, hands-on approach to counting nipples. I'll bet @tennantshands.bsky.social and @sheenhands.bsky.social are very jealous of Michael's scene partner here. 👀 Nipple count: 2

A young, shirtless Michael Sheen gazes happily into the sky as he straddles his extremely lucky scene partner, who is lying beneath him and pawing his beautiful chest in this black-and-white photo. This is certainly the most FUN way to count nipples!

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

If you see this, quote the energy you bring to BlueSky.

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

This one certainly looks like a witch with that pentagram on his chest, but I only spy two nipples, so... I guess he's just a sissy southern goth emo pansy type! Och, this degenerate age we live in... probably calls his cats funny names... Nipple count: 2

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Reposted by Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter

Tennant's Eyes @tennantseyes.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Angel Eyes and he sure does have them! #goodomens #crowley

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Aye, Michael, there will be... if ye be found ta have more than two nipples! Nipple count: 2

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Sgt. Shadwell's Nipple Counter @sergeant-shadwell.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Kicking things off with a strong entry by Michael. Nipple count: 2

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