David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 09/10/2026But are they giants? If you're dealing with micro tortoises, that's still a terrific amount, but you're just going to end up spending a lot of time watching where you step. 020 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Straight from the bottle, or served in a coupe, a Nick & Nora? 010 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 06/10/2026You should try not to pop too many tabs at once; it keeps the webpages fresher. 010 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 04/10/2026You should probably have a side salad or something too. 020 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Did you forget to thread your belt through your trousers before putting your belt on? 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Is supper even a thing any more for anyone other than hobbits? 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Perhaps more in your wheelhouse, Chuck - have they birthed an alcoholic apple varietal yet? 011 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I must be further along the path to AI enlightenment as, not only do I not know my home address, I'm also no longer toilet-trained. 010 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 23/09/2026With the highest quality artisan honeys, the bees' bums are squozen by hand, helping them poo out that delicious honey without the need for harmful bee laxatives. 030 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 05/09/2026The star at the centre of our solar system consumes the hydrogen in its core, producing heat and light... Is life on earth sustained by sun poo? 010 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Boat, I've been following you all this time under the assumption that Mrs Bluesky is a big mover and shaker on this platform, and that you've been coasting in her wake - is that not the case? 030 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 29/08/2026If you're talking about the poem 'Woofy Duo Bone', that actually dates from a lot further back, in Mesopotamia. 030 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Another way to ask that question would be, how many more guitars before the Guitar Storage Church is full? 010 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Is it really a surprise that Global Warming took our Iceberg Lettuces from us first? Soon we'll have no cool vegetables left at all! 110 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 21/08/2026She'll always be Gracie from Big Trouble In Little China to me! 060 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 21/08/2026I liked it well enough. Silly fun, with lots of nostalgia. It needed more Orko though. 020 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 14/08/2026One of you is shedding, and one of you is gaining. x 010 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 14/08/2026If it makes you feel any better, Chuck, I find your obsession with people widdling endearing! 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Introduce yourself as what almost killed you: "Hi, I'm the childhood wardrobe that rebelled against being summitted!" 010 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Is that cart where the Ground Zero Lettuce originated!?! 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 09/08/2026All well and good, but who is the Darth Vader to the Hamburglar's Luke Skywalker? 010 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 09/08/2026I would much rather be a doodoo tank than a tech pervert! 020 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 06/08/2026Clearly it's Statler and Waldorf, and James Bond is Kermit the Frog. The real question is, will Miss Piggy be playing the role of Miss Moneypiggy, or Piggypussy? 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 04/08/2026What number am I if I make hard water snake pellets? 010 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 01/08/2026How a person gets down from the computer tells you a lot about their character. 170 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 21/07/2026You better hope that no one from Ba sees this, or you may just find that one of the 200 Rooms is actually your living room! And that you've just summoned Norman the Warrior for a visit, whereupon he'll rain down some Real Time Action on your Interactive ass! 110 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 17/07/2026In fairness, that does seem like the best strategy to catch a glimpse of him... 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 15/07/2026I was at a friend's house watching the game, so phone in pocket, but I expect you can roughly guess my response to how England reacted after they went in front! 110 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 10/07/2026It sounds like you need to have a chat with James! 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 10/07/2026I like to imagine that you've been waiting posed stock-still like a wildlife photographer all match, perhaps even wearing camoflage, waiting for that perfect photo. Well done, Dara. 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 10/07/2026Did you interview Yancy Butler for the article? 020 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 09/07/2026The only way to truly convince would be to hand-write everything using a quill feather plucked from your own body, with ink composed of a proprietary blend of Scalzi secretions. 050 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Perhaps better shovelware filtering on digital storefronts would help a bit? 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 03/07/2026The ones pictured seem to have a Brown Tugar Sancake filling, which might be what is quashing your purplejoy. 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 27/06/2026Haven't you guys only lost Casemiro this summer? I kind of see Mainoo as your Curtis Jones. 100 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 27/06/2026He's bang average, mate. If he were any good, really, United wouldn't be trying to sign 75 midfielders this summer. 100 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 27/06/2026You're wealthy, sure, but how have you found maintaining relationships now that you're more frequently splooging sticky stuff from your bumhole? 000 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 24/06/2026Have you considered packing an Emergency Pie when you're travelling? It could save your life one day. 120 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 12/06/2026But how else is one to cajole you into taking a long walk with them , my dear! 100 0
David Kelly @scubadaver.bsky.social · 12/06/2026You're not fooling anyone, PB. It's obvious to all that you've been taking money from Big Cannon for years. Trying to starve us human beans of guns so that boatkind can rule forevermore. Despicable. 020 0
