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Matt

@scriptumsent.bsky.social
239 followers 227 following 350 posts

and gathering swallows twitter in Bluesky

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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
3yo wants to play doctor so I complain of a tummy ache. She runs an “x-ray,” turns out I have multiple broken bones but she has something that will make me feel better. Brings me an old gift box and says to open it: it’s a crucifix.
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
6yo’s annotations on the pamphlet he found at Mass today
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
6yo telling me that the word “napkin” means “a family of rest”
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
[watching the end of The Lion King when Simba defeats Scar] 8yo: the king has returned 6yo: and the knave is dead
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
6yo telling me about his dislike of the letter X because it is a “disrespectful letter”: “It doesn’t have its own sound, it just steals from two other letters”
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
6yo says he wants to be a lawyer when he grows up Me: Do you know what a lawyer is? 6yo: Yes. A lawyer helps other people find loopholes. And I’m very good at finding loopholes
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
Just paraphrasing the story of Joseph and his brothers to the kids at bedtime and couldn’t get through it without tearing up
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
8yo watching Aladdin, where it’s explained that you can’t wish for more wishes: “I would wish for more genies”
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
3yo daughter now doing this thing where every time we finish a movie together and the credits song starts playing she’ll say ”Daddy, dance with me!” and pull me up off the couch to start twirling
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
Devil on the mountain: All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me American evangelicals: Deal
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
3yo daughter has started exclaiming “what the heg!”
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Reposted by Matt
Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Anti-human, anti-life; corrosive of sociality, civility, decency, dignity, piety, and fear of God; cynically contemptuous of truth in its abject nihilism; a stain on Christian witness for those who make themselves complicit—the cancerous rot of MAGA must go.
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
“Rats are haters.” —3yo daughter
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
“Guy who has strong opinions about the Super Bowl halftime show” is such a funny character. Best case scenario it’s a good performance and you go “that was mildly entertaining.” How do you get worked up about it on like a personal level lol
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
Missed the AI Dunkin ad, looked it up. The slop is getting desperate, it can’t carry on like this. We’re going to win this thing.
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
Me: why are you being fussy? 3yo daughter: it’s hard to say
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
3yo daughter (pointing at elderly man in a cartoon): he’s old Me: what about me, am I old? 3yo (annoyed like I’m acting ridiculous): noooo, you’re new! (beat) 3yo: but you’re getting old. then I’m going to need a new daddy
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 04/02/2026
Kids’ illness rallying in its second week
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
Share a TV show you love with 3 seasons or less.
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
8yo on God’s providence: “He’s playing wizard’s chess against Satan. That’s basically how the universe works.”
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
The long 1990s have come to an end
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
Thinking about this some more, I think the loss of honor as a category is tied up with the widespread erosion of memory. To value honor or consider an act as honorable requires a higher vantage of time that transcends immediate utility and embraces (1/4)
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
[Reposting from the other place:] What’s striking to me is the total disappearance of “honor” (even in a misplaced sense) as a conceivable good or motive in public life. True virtue even more so but I feel like the decline into short-term private pleasure-seeking has been so precipitous that (1/2)
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
8yo is telling riddles and demanding that every guess be supported with reasons for its proposal. He keeps rejecting my guesses for being insufficiently argued prescinding from questions of correctness.
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
When I threaten war over not winning the Nobel Peace Prize, the committee will finally see how wrong they got it
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Vance currently putting up Jordan numbers in this department
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Anti-human, anti-life; corrosive of sociality, civility, decency, dignity, piety, and fear of God; cynically contemptuous of truth in its abject nihilism; a stain on Christian witness for those who make themselves complicit—the cancerous rot of MAGA must go.
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
Merry Christmas!
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 09/12/2025
Found some stand-up bits I wrote and recorded (just audio) a few years ago and got surprised by some the jokes I’d forgotten… surreal experience
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
Don’t really care where they’re from, as long as they’re safe for the baby
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
The Shining… just spend the winter at home
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
Princess
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
Seeing 7yo reading Harry Potter by nightlight after lights out
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
Wake Up Dead Man: A Theological Mystery
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
3yo daughter has gotten so into Pokémon (thanks to her older brothers) that she is now saying things like “yellow evolves into red” when we approach a traffic light
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
Idea: a novel composed entirely of epigraphs
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
Daughter turning 3 (today): “Am I big? Can I reach things?”
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
5yo’s joke: “What do two half-teeth make? A cavity, because two halves make a hole.”
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 29/06/2025
5yo: did you bring my sunglasses? Me: to go swimming? no 7yo (wryly): [Brother’s name] is accustomed to luxury
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 16/06/2025
Update: “Whenever I see Satan I’m gonna throw him in Papa’s pool so his disguise gets ruined.”
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
5yo’s joke: “Why was the football a bad sport? It kept getting kicked out of the game!”
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
7yo is explaining that after being a sophomore one moves on to become a “hardmore”
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 10/06/2025
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
“If I ever see Satan I’m going to chop him with a jackknife.” —5yo son
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
Had been looking for something all over the house, remembered to say a prayer to St. Anthony, and found it literally 5 seconds later
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Reposted by Matt
Bryce @statcrux.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
If you’re so inclined, check out my new story in Gulf Stream Magazine gulfstreamlitmag.com/2025/05/03/f...
gulfstreamlitmag.com
Floridian Beauty
by Bryce Taylor Boyquet by Kale Hensley Floridian Beauty We were Orlando boys. Our seasons marked by the changing of sports. The autumnal colors of football fields with their pom-poms and helmet-be…
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
Went in the other day to wake up 2yo from a nap and she was nowhere to be found. Searched the whole room before she emerged bleary-eyed from the closet. Now every day after we say goodnight she will migrate to the closet (shutting the door) to sleep and cackle with glee when we find her there.
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
the state of peaceful happiness
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Matt @scriptumsent.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
You’re just giving the bread false hope… it’s toast
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