iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

I cheered when Nigella Lawson described someone’s bread as claggy last night on Bake Off. Cheered.

It’s a photo of our telly. On it is Nigella Lawson in a pink top with blurry greenery in the background. The subtitles say ‘That chai custard has a claggy texture and yet somehow it works.’

Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

If you need a laugh, and who doesn’t, my show Late Bloomer is on E4 Extra at 10pm tonight then available on catch up for a limited time. If you’re outside of the UK, you can watch it on Netflix.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

My latest show, Late Bloomer, that I toured around the world 2023-5 is on E4 Extra tonight at 10pm (and on catch up for a limited period of time). If you’re outside the UK, you can watch it on Netflix any time.

It’s me in my ABBA museum Winner takes it all T shirt. I’m sitting in a restaurant with my elbows on the table and my fingers locked under my chin. There is text and it says Late Bloomer is on channel E4 Extra tonight at 10pm.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Day 4 of a hair wash. Dry shampoo is doing some heavy lifting. Peri menny has thinned it right out. So if you want the rest of my hair, it’s in my brush. Hope Friday is treating you well.

My hair is short and various browns and blondes. It needed washing yesterday but I couldn’t be arsed. Ditto today. I’m also wearing glasses and a black and white striped top. I have ‘house’ make up on. As in, a bit. I’m sitting in a blue checked armchair with my cardigan hanging over the side.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I was very lucky to see my good friend Susan Calman on and off stage tonight. Onstage, hilarious and heartfelt and wonderful. Offstage, she let me pop my boobs on her shoulders. Grab a ticket to see her show.

Susan is in front in a red jumper. I’m behind her in an animal print top. My arms are holding the camera (phone) in front of susan which allowed the knockers to sit on her shoulders.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Loving Nigella on Bake Off. Was nice to be reminded about Iced Gems that I sneakily ate in the reference library at the former South Shields Central Library while reading budgie books. Still, to this day, one of the naughtiest things I’ve ever done.

A picture of the image on my telly when one of the clever bakers had finished their Iced Gems, small circles of shortbread with multicoloured texted royal icing on the top. Delicious.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Hey guys, does anyone know what ‘envelope gravy’ is? Photo taken in a Real Canadian Superstore in Toronto. I previously assumed it was your arse crack when you’ve had a wet fart. ‘Oh no, I have envelope gravy!’ sort of thing.

It’s a big blue sign hanging over Aisle 8 in a supermarket. It lists these things: Cake Mixes
Sugar & Spices
Envelope Gravy
Rice Crackers
Shake N' Bake

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Hey Canada. Specifically Torontonians. Did anyone email?

It’s a notice pinned to a post. It has a QR code on it and it says ‘are you ugly? Email me. I have questions’

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

to Gary, to my family, to all at Chambers Management, to all my fellow clowns for the advice, shared car rides and friendship. I fucking love comedy. 2/2

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Today is my 22nd comedy anniversary! Thank God for divorce. For writing. For laughing. For Kate Fox for getting me on a stage the first time. Thanks to everyone who has ever booked me, everyone who’s laughed, everyone who’s liked or commented or shared a clip, who’s bought a ticket… 1/2

I’m on stage at the Birmingham Glee club at their new material gig, Rough Works. I have short blonde hair and I’m wearing a black speckled dress. I’m holding notes and laughing.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Just booked myself a massage so if you don’t hear from me for a while I’ll either be super relaxed or dead.

It’s a heavily graffitied wall and door. The door is open and there are dark stairs beyond. Someone has painted the word SPA and an arrow on the wall and SPA on the inside (hmmm) of the door. It looks fucking terrifying.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

I could put these on every meal. What is your downfall? What could you put on every meal?

It’s a big old tub of Vadasz fresh pickles - red onion. If an excess of them didn’t make my stomach shout and arsehole cry, I’d eat ONLY them.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I think if I didn’t do comedy, I’d like this job please. Biscuit be-JENGA-rer.

It’s 2 massive jars of biscuits at an airport lounge. Left one is 3/4 full of small shortbread rounds and the one on the right is 1/2 full of bourbons. But they’ve all been stacked in such a pleasing way that it’s definitely someone’s job.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

My fifth show Control Enthusiast (2018) is on E4 at 10pm tonight. Hope you enjoy it. Photo by Aemen Sukkhar Graphics by Gary Williams

It’s the lovely turquoise background of the Control Enthusiast poster. I’m in red with shoulder length wavy balayaged hair (as my husband called it ‘a rainbow of brown’). The text says Sarah Millican
Control Enthusiast with clever subtle puppet strings between my name and the title. In a special fancy red box at the bottom, it says Control Enthusiast
E4 tonight at 10pm

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

My fifth show Control Enthusiast (2018) is on E4 at 10pm tonight and again same time same channel on Tuesday. Hope you enjoy it. Photo and poster design by Aemen Sukkhar Graphics by Gary Williams

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

I’ve been doing some more colouring in. I find it soothes my brain. I’m going for patterns at the moment. Small sketchbook means I get the satisfaction of finishing more often. Gary has named this one ‘Your interesting friend’s rug’

It’s a pattern. I will do my best to describe it. It uses these colours: pink, light pink, coral pink, yellow, red, lavender, apricot. It’s all straight lines coming in at a diagonal from each corner. It shows a little perspective and depth and because I did the corners first and gradually worked inwards, the depth is in the centre. The colours are kind of in an order but I was half watching Men in Black at the time and working by lamp not big light, I sometimes got the order wrong. But I like that. I like there not really being any mistakes. Just going with it. The sketchbook is 12cm by 12cm because I love a square and I like finishing things.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Thank you for watching Late Bloomer on E4 last night. Some people have been asking about a new tour. There are no plans for another tour at the moment but if you join my mailing list, you’ll hear any future news first In the mean time, look at the size of my first home grown cucumber. Proper girthy

It’s the wooden bench in my greenhouse. Above it is my left hand, palm almost flat, holding a bloody huge cucumber. Not massively long but thick. I feel proud to have grown this from a very small plant by best friend gave me. The tomatoes are doing great too. Now I just need to know how to grow bread and Crème Eggs and I have all the food groups covered. Also in the picture is my denim gardening apron. I get very clarty* when gardening.

*clarty is Geordie for filthy, muddy, sticky.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

My most recent show, Late Bloomer is on E4 tonight at 10pm. If you’re outside of the UK, it’s on Netflix. Photo by Matt Crockett Dress by Zuri Hair and make up by Chrissie Baker

It’s the Late Bloomer poster image. Green background and me in a yellow dress with pink books on it. I’m resting one hand under my chin and the other hand under first hand’s elbow. That makes more sense than you think. In Yellow is my name and in white, it says Late Bloomer. Under that, in white: on E4 tonight at 10pm.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Today’s post therapy treat. What was your last one? A glass of water (feel dehydrated) and a Wispa Duo. As my good friend Andy Robinson said, one for now and one for a bit after now.

Terracotta coloured foot stool and on it is a pint glass a little over half full of water. Beside it is a Wispa Duo which if you don’t know is two slightly smaller than usual Wispas (lovely chocolate bar) in the same packet which in the adverts is apparently ‘One for now, one for later’. NOPE

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

We’ve been gallivanting again. This time Gary & I went to New York before his tour starts up again. Photo: I didn’t know you could do portrait mode & selfie mode at the same time. Enjoying the results. Make up: I think my best make up is ‘put it on ages ago & did stuff that made me a bit sweaty’.

It’s a photo of Gary and I in Times Square. I’m on the left in a grey T shirt (actually a Rick Astley tour t shirt) with gold necklace, clear framed glasses and remnants of red lipstick. I’m glowy. Let’s call it that. It’s very flattering, sweat, isn’t it? Gary is on the right in a bright blue Spaghetti Junction T shirt named after the Birmingham road system as opposed to like a great Italian restaurant. Behind us, all blurry as intended, are the bright lights and bright colours of Times Square. It’s one of my favourite places in the world.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

I’m away at the moment in my array of wonderful Cub and Pudding dresses and my £10 service station WHSmith sunglasses. Hope you’re having a good August.

It’s me. Head and shoulders. Greenery behind. I’m sitting on a bench. I’m at the age when I’m relieved when I see a bench. My hair is windswept and blonde. My sunglasses are big and dark and cheap. My dress is red and white gingham check and lovely and floaty and pretty. There’s a cross body bag strap across my shoulder. Important to have hands free at all times. For ice creams and stranger dog stroking and photo taking.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

then dashed outside to get enough signal to ring Gary. I paid off my car loan with the £5K prize money. Not bad for someone whose first audience at the fringe that year was 5 people, 4 of whom I knew. Well done to all my fellow clowns performing at the fringe this year. I’m a tiny bit jealous ❤️ 3/3

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

I had excellent friends with me who confirmed they’d said my name before I went up. In my speech, I thanked my man and my management (both are still by my side) and met Clive James (who presented me with the award) and hugged Brendon Burns (who, as the previous year’s winner, announced it) 2/?

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

18 years ago today, I won the Edinburgh Comedy awards Best Newcomer award for my show Sarah Millican’s Not Nice. Face of pure joy. 1/?

It’s me in 2008. I’m younger. That’s how time works. And thinner. That’s how time works. My hair is mousey (original colour) and shoulder length. I’m wearing an orange top and also, not in the photo, really nice new jeans. My face is full of joy. This was taken as I walked off stage.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Beautiful. I do this. Full on then flake out.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

What a lovely thing to say. Thank you so much.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

My show Bobby Dazzler (2023) is on Channel 4 tonight and 4Seven tomorrow. Really hope you enjoy it. If you don’t have those channels, you can watch it any time via my website. Photo and poster design by Matt Crockett Graphics by Gary Williams Dress by Zuri

The image is from my Bobby Dazzler poster. It’s a golden background and I’m standing in the best possible dress. It’s a Zuri dress with a swirly multicoloured patterned. I have my hands on my hips and I’m laughing. My hair is long, blonde and shiny. The problem when you call your show ‘Bobby Dazzler’ is that you have to look like a Bobby Dazzler. For those not in the know, a Bobby Dazzler is a person or thing that is remarkably fine, brilliant, attractive, or excellent.
Underneath is some text in a red and blue box that says:
Bobby Dazzler
Channel 4 - Friday 21st 11:05pm
4Seven - Saturday 22nd 10pm

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

I’m fairly new to gardening but I think my dildo plant is coming on a treat.

It’s a decent sized cucumber. The size of a fat courgette. And it’s still on the plant but sitting comfortably in my hand. I’m proud. But still have a dirty mind.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Just had a brilliant 4 days away in wonderful Stockholm with my love @garydelaney.bsky.social. Great food, loads of walking, incredible museums and handholding in the sunshine. Love it. This is post curry, mid walk back.

It’s me and Gary (left to right) and we look very happy. There’s a darkening but not dark yet blue sky behind us. And some buildings and a fence. I’m wearing my grey Jaws T Shirt (current favourite) and my cross the body bag and a gold necklace. My face is glowy (sweaty) and my lipstick a bright red. I’ve stopped wearing powder as I’ve decided I like to look alive. Gary is in a checked shirt. Great meal, day and trip.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

My third Special Home Bird (2014) is on Channel 4 on Friday and 4Seven on Saturday. Photo by Andy Hollingworth Graphics by Gary Williams

It’s me in a black dress with short brown hair and brown glasses. The background is blue and pink and looks like the image of a house. I’m talking and pointing. The text in a pink and blue box says Home Bird Channel 4 - Friday 7th 11:05pm. 4Seven - Saturday 8th 10pm.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

It’s one of the channel 4 channels

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

My second show Thoroughly Modern Millican (2012) is on channel 4Seven at 10pm tonight if you have that channel and fancy a laugh.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

My second show Thoroughly Modern Millican (2012) is on channel 4 at 11:05pm tonight. Photo by Andy Hollingworth Graphics by Gary Williams

It’s me at a mic with short blonde hair, 14 years younger, wearing a blue dress. There are small lights behind me. In a pink and blue box are the words:
Thoroughly Modern Millican
channel 4 - Friday 31st July 11:05pm

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

This Friday and Saturday! My second show Thoroughly Modern Millican (2012) is on UK telly. Photo by Andy Hollingworth Graphics by Gary Williams

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

We (me and my wonderful friends) went to see the incredible Michelle Wolf in Cheltenham tonight. So good. SO GOOD. I feel invigorated and tingly. Laughed so much. Grab a ticket.

It’s the four of us backstage at Cheltenham Town Hall. On the left, my two wonderful friends, i’m at the front taking the photo and the brilliant Michelle is on the right. All smiling and a little sweaty. Excellent night.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

I’ve had a cheeky few days in London seeing friends and shows and art. Jo Brand and I booked a table in a lovely restaurant and then it was empty. We had a wonderful long chatty lunch. Adore the bones of her. She has a brilliant new book out soon and a book tour too! shor.by/DeclineAndFa...

It’s Jo and I sitting at a table in a quiet restaurant. We both have an arm resting in the white tableclothed table. Smiling. Great food, great chat.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

London! I saw Laurie Kilmartin’s show last night at Soho Theatre and it was brilliant. Sharp hilarious jokes that often took me by surprise. Loved it. You can see why she’s double Emmy nominated. She’s back tonight. Grab a ticket. Starts at 7:15pm. sohotheatre.com/events/lauri...

sohotheatre.com

Laurie Kilmartin: The Non-Refundable Plane Tickets Tour – Soho Theatre

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

Outsider is on 4Seven at 10pm tonight if you fancy a laugh and have such a channel.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

Happy Saturday all. Coaster by David Shrigley. Glass free from the pub.

A pint glass 1/3 full of water. Pic is taken from above so the coaster is visible through the water. The coaster is by David Shrigley and is yellow, red and white. It says Do Not Doubt Yourself. Also in the pic is a cream patterned rug, a black table, the corner of a DVD player remote and the handle of my white Federal Delicatessen mug.

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

Reminder that my 4th show (of 7) Outsider (2016) is on Channel 4 at 11:05pm tonight if you’re up late and need a laugh. It was recorded at Brighton Dome and was a really fun one. Have you seen Outsider before?

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Sarah Millican @sarahmillican.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

My 2016 show Outsider is on Channel 4 tonight at 11:05pm if you fancy a laugh. If you’re outside of the UK, you can watch it via my website any time you like. Photo by Aemen Sukkar Graphics by Gary Williams

It’s me in a black and white striped dress (John Lewis) with my thumbs up (yep, both of them). My hair is long and wavy and dark brown. There are lights behind me. The text is in a burgundy and red box and says Outsider
Tonight at 11:05pm
Channel 4

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