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Samantha Markum

@sammarkum.bsky.social
248 followers 139 following 25 posts

USA Today bestselling author of LOVE, OFF THE RECORD📰 + THIS MAY END BADLY💥 + YOU WOULDN’T DARE 🌊

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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
told myself I would be better about eating breakfast BEFORE coffee and then got lightheaded standing over the toaster. how have I even survived this long??
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
happy shock yourself touching any surface all day long for the next 4 months season
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
my clock the second I say "wow I've been working forever, it must be 5pm by now":
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
aesthetic instagram brands will be like CYBER MONDAY UP TO 70% OFF and you click it like a fool to see their organic cotton 3-pair sock bundles have been discounted from $90 to $75
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
me after revising two paragraphs: do I deserve a little treat?
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
sat down with every intention of working on revisions but my eyes are so heavy and I'm already on the couch and oh no now I'm cozy under a blanket and 💤
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 26/11/2024
I'm just a girl standing in front of a manuscript asking it to revise itself
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 25/11/2024
there simply were not enough people laughing in the theater during gladiator 2
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
today my dental hygienist asked me if I'm a tongue thruster and I had to really... take a moment... to understand what was being asked exactly
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
how I feel fixing something myself because my landlord took too long
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 16/11/2024
I have a funeral tomorrow and I don’t have anything to wear that’s sufficiently formal but also dark but also not too overdressed and I just keep calling my mom asking if my next outfit idea is going to make people think I’m trying to make the funeral all about me
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 15/11/2024
is the sun even coming up at this point or is it just dark 24 hours a day now
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 21/09/2023
starting copy edits on a book I love so much, I’m worried I’ll get too wrapped up in rereading these idiots in (secret) love that I’ll forget to pay attention to the changes lol
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Samantha Markum @sammarkum.bsky.social · 28/08/2023
I am here (to exclusively worry that I can't waste my best jokes on social media when I get such a limited amount and must save them for my books and then worry that I don't post enough on social media because I have nothing funny to say lol)
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