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Safe Muffins

@safemuffins.vip
508 followers 96 following 9.3K posts

He/him. Chicago native, residing in NW Indiana. I like games, especially modding games n stuff. I'm an old Gen X curmudgeon of sorts living in a spectator democracy, and I'm pretty grumpy about it. Where to learn more about me: safemuffins.vip

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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 14/10/2026
The sad bit here is, the ones who make it a point to say shit like this, or flaunt their cash? Many of them are the ones who leave these as tips. It should be legal to hunt them for sport.
An image of a fake twenty dollar bill, that when unfolded reveals itself to be nothing more than a proselytizing pamphlet. 

These are always left as a tip by the absolute worst carbon based life forms ever shot out of a uterus.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 10/10/2026
Cobra Chickens are not to be trifled with.
A tweet from the old bird site. 

"I work with a guy from Mexico who doesn't speak a lot of English. A Canadian goose made a nest by one of the paddock gates and hissed at him while he was putting horses out. He comes back to us after and says, "I do not like the cobra chicken."
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 03/10/2026
Indeed. I'm well versed with LL's offerings. I don't go whole hog on LL mods, but I do like adding varying levels of realism to the game. And of course, I also love people's first reaction when they encounter LL for the first time... 🤣
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 03/10/2026
500 mods are rookie numbers, gotta pump those up! But I feel your pain here. Sometimes, NPC replacers can get...weird. Very weird. Deeply weird. I'm currently between plays and auditing my mod load order and rebuilding all of my clothes for a new body distribution system and I just wanna be done.
A picture of my MO2 loadout at the moment...getting near 1200 active mods.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 03/10/2026
The South Park Movie really cut to the heart of it years ago.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 01/10/2026
MOIST PEANUTS.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 30/09/2026
Can... ....someone... PLZ call amb ...ulance....can't breathe... laughing....can't c--can't stop.... laughing. HALP. 😂🫠😂🫠😂🫠😂🫠
A screencap from the Chicago Tribune website of a link to an editorial...

Editorial: Where have all the good Republican candidates gone?
Republicans left standing after the midterms will likely have to rebuild.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 28/09/2026
What have I been doing? I spent all morning loafing around.
A picture of two freshly baked loaves of bread. This picture was taken for the sole purpose of making the most obvious Dad joke.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 28/09/2026
Indeed. They're in the "huffing gold paint" stage. They can't stop, they're addicted no matter how ridiculous they look.
A picture of the gold paint huffing dude from Smoking Gun.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 26/09/2026
I recommend you fuck all the way off Arris. For a better experience, you should work on optimizing your boot times, time outs, and you know...making sure someone can login to the damned modem during signal acquisition.
A picture of the top header of the login screen for my Arris Surfboard Cable modem. With a message that says: "We recommend using our Mobile Application - SURFboard Central - for better experience configuring and accessing new features customized for your device."
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 25/09/2026
If I was going to show up to an interview with a banana split, would be either Bingo or Drooper.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 25/09/2026
INTO THE STUPID PILE HE GOES.
A screencap of the Deathbulge comic "the party". 

Guy in a pink shirt is being branded with a branding iron that says "LAME-O"
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 24/09/2026
This whole line could have been in a sketch from Flying Circus, where they once ruthlessly mocked the upper class. With every passing year, he becomes more and more like those upper class twits he played on Python. I think he was always like this, it's why he played those parts so well.
A picture of a John Cleese tweet from yesterday. 

"This is where the Arabs were ahead of us. By castrating all their slaves, they made sure there were no descendants who could claim reparations"
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 24/09/2026
A banner graphic, showing the giant head from Zardoz. The caption reads: 

Y'all motherfuckers need Zardoz.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 23/09/2026
This is where I'm at now. I'm not one of the Linux bros who keyword ambush people to "just install linux", those guys ARE awful. But as *nix user of decades, living in a time where Linux is now on par with Windows...I am tired of hearing about how terrible MS is when alternatives exist now.
A pic of the girl explains to guy meme. 

Girl is labeled: Windows user complaining about Microsoft. 
Boy on the left is labeled: Linux user tired of caring & hearing about it.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 22/09/2026
The dangerous thing about shit talking me is that you hate the "consequences" of shit talking me. For instance never forget who has access to the router, and who with their network god like powers can ERASE YOUR ASS FROM THE LAN ON A MERE WHIM. But for now, I'll settle for renaming your phone.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 22/09/2026
Apple II+
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 22/09/2026
Today's mood:
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 21/09/2026
The party does everything it can to exclude actual progressives. The Democrats, as they stand right now, are just centrist/moderate Republicans. I fucking hate Noam, but a broken clock is still right twice a day. He absolutely called this one...
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 21/09/2026
I go to the closet, and I rummage through the boxes until I find what I'm looking for. It's just as I left it...wrapped up in a canvas satchel. I take it out and throw it on my ironing board. I get all the creases out. Now, the flag is ready to hoist.
A picture of Captain Harlock, he stands at the navigation wheel of The Arcadia, which is pictured in the background.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 20/09/2026
Aztec for the Apple II. This was one of the first games with a procedural system for generating the play fields/floors. No two games were ever alike. You were encouraged to open every box, blow up walls. Avoid traps and the occasional T-Rex. Exploration was key. I still play this game.
A picture of the title card from Aztec for the Apple II.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 20/09/2026
Welcome to the...
A picture of a sign that says "Ratio Cafe"
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 20/09/2026
My Anbernic RG351V got here today. It is a pretty rad device. Exactly what I was looking for...something I can pick up, play a game, then set down. I love my Steam Deck, for sure. But doing old emulation on it, is kind of a pain. This new device is more purpose built...and a lot smoother to use.
Boot screen of my new anbernic rg351v A photo of my anbernic rg351v running Metroid II. Pic of my new anbernic rg351v, it's running MAME and has loaded Elevator Action.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 18/09/2026
Clearly, this was your IRC alt.
A quote from the old (now defunct) bash.org quote site, with a paste from IRC: 

#4281 +(27833)- [X]

<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 18/09/2026
You may not like it, but this is what a peak anime power couple looks like.
Emeraldas and Tochiro, from Harlock Saga.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 15/09/2026
I bet you'd be happier to be home with one of these. Oh! Well, would you just look at that...
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 14/09/2026
We used to be a real country, that made real products.
A picture of the Radio Shack "Refrigerator Pig". You put this in your fridge, and when you opened the door it would oink/squeal at you. 

This was an actual product.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 14/09/2026
MFW I see yet another story about Trump's butthurt about the Kennedy Center.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 13/09/2026
Bailey was a great dog. She was quite old for a boxer (12)...but she was an awesome pup. She is missed.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 10/09/2026
Picture of a dog sitting in someone's lap. There's a pizza in front of the dog and the dog looks like it's quite relaxed. The text overlay: 

Top: Yeah, I'm into fitness. 
Bottom: Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 03/09/2026
Pretty much the evergreen collective mood right now.
A picture of a woman warming herself by a dumpster fire. The Dumpster is labeled "the collapse of the United States" the woman warming herself by the fire is labeled "memes"
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 27/08/2026
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 27/08/2026
WTF TMZ. WAS USING THIS IMAGE REALLY NECESSARY? AS IF LOSING CULLEN WASN'T BAD ENOUGH, YOU NEED TO MAKE THE CUT EVEN DEEPER?
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 25/08/2026
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 24/08/2026
User Friendly really nailed it 20 years ago. The situation has not changed, except that SCO is now defunct yet the case refuses to die.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 10/08/2026
For those folks who are trying to rehabilitate Rahm Emanuel for the next election cycle I have an encouraging message for you:
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 09/08/2026
Hey, could kindly fuck off within the next 4 minutes?
A message notification from some polling crap. Probably a push poll.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 09/08/2026
This timeline is trying hard as hell to break my reality checking policy. It consists of this image, whenever I think something can't be real, it has to be fake...I consult this image to remind myself of the threshold. But this timeline...it is blurring some lines now, and I am not happy.
A picture of a Giraffe and a Unicorn. The caption above says: 

"How are unicorns fake, but giraffes are real? Like, what's more believable? A horse with a horn, or a leopard-moose-camel with a 40 foot neck?"
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 07/08/2026
So, our electric griddle was starting to die...and rather than buy a new one, I finally managed to find an oven topper. This. Thing. Is. Magnificent. Bought it, and a grill brick. It's like being in a restaurant kitchen. It's wondrous, and it will never die. We can also take it camping with us.
A picture of a flat top grill topper sitting on a stove top. Not our actual stove.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 06/08/2026
Addendum:
A post from 'ethantjerino' that says "RAM retails for over $800 for 64 gigs currently. Flock Camera systems have 64 gigs of RAM inside them. DO what you will with this information" The picture in the post shows a Corsair Vengeance 64gb RAM kit for $879.99 USD on Amazon.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 03/08/2026
This is my 2 pound meat tenderizer. I inherited it from my mother. I will accept these laws if, and only if I am allowed to verify the genitals of the person inspecting my child with this instrument with the understanding that it may take multiple swings to get an accurate analysis.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 03/08/2026
It's 2026 and we can automate this process by 3d printing Demon Cores.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 26/07/2026
Bread complete. It turned out wonderful. (It is normal sized, not 8 ft long)
A picture of a freshly baked, just out of the oven loaf of white bread sitting on a cooling rack.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 26/07/2026
I scratched my itch for Civ, now I've moved to another timeless classic:
Title screen for the old DOS game: 

Scorched Earth: The Mother of All Games.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 25/07/2026
Just Civ things. Sometimes, the most absurd statements break some of the game tension. This made me bust out laughing.
A picture from Civ Vi. It's Tomyris telling me that they've got Blue Jeans and Rock and Roll and are prepared to use them.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 24/07/2026
My youngest daughter is part Sicilian on her mothers side. She just came into my office to hand me this...
A picture of a toy horses head which seems to have been ripped off a toy horse.
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 17/07/2026
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 16/07/2026
This is what you're supposed to expect when your planet is on fire, right?
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 16/07/2026
The state of search engines is really starting to piss me off. Anyone have a good gecko browser based plugin/extension that lets me block domains from search results on Duck Duck Go?
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Safe Muffins @safemuffins.vip · 14/07/2026
I mean. We were warned about this in 1982.
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