iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 14h

no comfort streamer live to fall asleep to 😓

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I wish I were better at games and more into them so I could play them with my friends and talk about them and stuff

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

todo list for when I'm back home: take a proper train, cry, be alone (good), jerk off, go to training again on Monday (maybe) (probably)

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I haven't watched a chill twitch stream in too long maybe that's what has been missing. I am watching a chill/silly art stream and I'm sitting on a train, and my aunt can't sit next to me, this is the best, I am where I want to be

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I might have a very idealized view of it but I think I would like to have a monogamous relationship with a person I love and cherish, is that controversial?

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

once again I'm asking why "excited me, turns me on, makes me happy, etc" and "makes me anxious" seem to be so close together.

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

trying to figure out what triggers that *slight, unspecific* anxiety. interacting with, and seeing posts and interactions of absurdly attractive people on bsky and elsewhere might be a common denominator 🫠

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I guess I just hope the weird feeling and slight anxiousness about it online won't transfer to irl. I don't think it will, if it hasn't already. it will be okay. I wish the rushed desire sometimes would be more excited than nervous, but it's okay.

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

HAKDJAHSKAKSNNSNSNDBENDBSBRJKRBFJXONEBFJFHEBFKEHBEKSJCBEKDNRBJFBEHEIRJ 😖

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

might as well continue it here. idk I just saw a post about holding guys to a higher standard, and I agree a lot but also realize I'm definitely not meeting that lol

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

FUCK I can feel the "am I not enough" thoughts return. I like you all so much but I feel like I don't fit in so often 😖 I want to run away but I also don't want to loose you. I feel like I'm allowed to sit at the cool kids table but I have no idea what's going on.

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

sometimes i wish i could be a fly on the wall. i feel like i don't know many things. how people are, what they do, what hides behind vague statements. it feels like the biggest self sabotage possible but so alluring

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

sometimes I realize how much everything has changed and I get sad and anxious. am I someone who just always longs for the past? I didn't think so, but right now, apparently I am. I feel like my life (/mood/mental health/general wellbeing) is on an upwards trend. but I really can only tell the

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

ARGHHHH some people are meeting up for sport this evening in the city and I want to join but 1. impostor syndrome 2. I'm kinda not feeling 100% I have a sore throat and I was tired all day I hope I don't get SICK hdbrjwhhskdnejksnejwkdnrhjdnbxjwjdbfhuxbrvfdbdbxiejvfhxhrbfbf dbxjens ndjf dbdjejnenebr

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

ONE HUNDRED AND TWO POSTS??? if you told me two years ago I would be having this many feelings both good and bad, and in general what my life would look like, I would have not believed you a tiny bit

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

kinda bad sleep again. feels like I woke up so many times to short bursts of anxiety and I don't even know what about mostly. also weird mix of anxious and horny this morning and yesterday? what's that about. idk if I like it

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

I should try that "adulthood" thing maybe. or that "making out" thing

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

I have such a stupid fear of being rejected or not belonging to this community because I'm like not 100% into what 100% of the people are into 😖

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

those sudden urges for physical love and affection 😖

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

when you think something is hot but then it turns out to be the perfect anxiety trigger 😖😖😖🥹😭

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

jjdjfhkaksmsndjs takes so little to make me feel insecure 😖

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

people live such immensely different lives. I wish that was more visible, many people seem so "normal" that the one odd thing about you makes you so weird as a whole. but, like, those people probably feel the same about me? or do they?

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

I don't necessarily envy it. but it's so weird, foreign to me. like, should I envy that? objectively, no. not a problem at all. but the past indifference, and recent change, makes me anxious. kinda. not terribly so, but just enough. should I? how even? what first?

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

I would like to put myself into more situations to meet people, and talk to people. it's so much easier said than done, but that one "success" is so so encouraging

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

why have i heard so much about clubs the last 2 days i want to go to the club

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Okay, decided i do actually want this here. It would have been my dads 60th birthday today,

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

maybe this once again? idk. kinda weird evening since I came home.

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

don't know if I'm horny or sad or lonely, if I want to talk so much or hide away

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

fav streamer went live this very second the day is saved

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

something is missing from my day and idk what. I feel like I gotta DO something. and I did a lot today already!!! I don't feel like having dinner (yet?)

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

I kind of wanna go to a thing today but I don't know the people so well and it's a hassle to get to and I would be the new and bad guy and I feel like we would have talked about it before if they thought I should join

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

woke up so many times tonight, and ended up on my phone every time 😓

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

anyways, pretty alright morning so far

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

hey don't read this I made this so I *don't* annoy anyone with all that

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I've only been sitting in a car so far today the actual work day didn't even start yet and I just want to go to bed already 😭

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

feels like I want to be seen so much and fully hide away all at the same time. it feels good to share everything, and it's so fucking terrifying to think about someone reading it

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

mornings and weekends (sundays) have been the hardest. this morning I got hit with a wave of anxiety too, but I can already feel it's fading. maybe it gets better, those used to last the entire day

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

32 posts in 2 days? maybe I *did* need some venting/yapping space

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

when I post on the main account and just the most amazing and beautiful people comment there, I really can't believe that sometimes. it's so so so so so nice. like WHAT DO YOU MEAN you're so cool you shouldn't even be looking in my general direction I'm not worth it

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I've been dreading work. idk if it's because it's really stressful rn or if it's the mental state outside of work that's affecting me

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I'm scared I'm becoming afraid and repulsed of anything sexual

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

no I won't switch to the other account I don't even have the desire to, I'm just used to it. gn

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

can you just cuddle with your friends and homies is that a thing

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

my therapy programme suggested to write down bad thoughts, and set a time for later to think about them, and set a timer for 15mins so you don't think about them more. I wrote down one thing earlier so now I'm gonna look at what that was and do that

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playcanary but sad @sadcanary.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

how did I have such emotional coldness for so long. I feel like I stayed away from all kind of personal, emotional or any other relationship, and idk why. and now I'm 27 and going through stupid shit and have the emotional stability of a 16 year old

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