Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 24/07/2025My lawyer told me I needed one and her associates because I have PTSD 020 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 24/07/2025I once had a lawyer tell me this was the way to go, no joke. #Unethical #Law 020 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 23/07/2025I’m going to get an ice cream cone tattoo on my forehead. Jill’s trying to talk me out of it but Hegseth said it’d be, “Icy.” Which apparently is a good thing. Told you kids Trump was on the Epstein list #Biden2028 010 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 23/07/2025My son Hunter Biden would make a great president in 2032. I’m so proud of him for finding his laptop. Jill and I paid $3,200 for it, computers aren’t cheap. He’s been using my Gateway from 2001. #Biden2028 010 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 20/07/2025Here’s a picture of my beautiful wife Jill with our 2 dogs, Champ and Major. Donnie Trump can’t get 2 loyal dogs and a real wife. Time to show Barry Obama how to play Pickle Ball. #Biden2028 #TrumpHasSmallPP 030 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 20/07/2025Press Release: Hunter has a hangover again and will miss brunch. That boy and Hegseth need a real job and out of my basement. Jill made poached eggs and pop tarts, I need a true chef like Guy Fieri. Don’t tell Jill, she thinks she makes the best pop tarts #Biden2028 010 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 19/07/2025Meet Willow, she’s still gaining dominance in her new neighborhood. #Caturday 050 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 19/07/2025I’m going to whip Jake Paul’s ass on PPV and donate the proceeds to NPR and PBS. Might get Jill a gift certificate to get her nails did too. #Biden2028 010 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 19/07/2025Looks like we’re going into a recession due to Donnie Trump. Jill and Michelle are clipping coupons while the Bushs are collecting empty beer cans from the party for the return deposit. #Biden2028 #MitchMcConnellStoleMyLiquor 010 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 19/07/2025My keg stand went 18 seconds longer than Hegseths. Lindsey Graham is making out with Chuck Schumer. (My gaydar is on point) MTG is wasted, crying and trying to convince Cory Booker that she’s not a Neanderthal. Gotta go, Jill’s coming #Biden2028 010 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 18/07/2025My son Hunter and Hegseth just went out to get a keg. I told Jill it’s just going to be one of those nights. My neighbor Bill Clinton thinks Colbert and Biden has a nice ring to it for the 2028 presidential election. #Biden2028 #Colbert2028 021 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 16/07/2025I haven’t slept since 1984 #Trump2028 100 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 16/07/2025This is such a wonderful Me-Me you kids made. One thing you got wrong, I was one of the best damn Presidents this country has ever had… (suck on that Barry Obama) So Ive earned the have the right to brag. Jill says it’s time for Gunsmoke and Johnny Carson. Good night kids, Joe #Biden2028 #TrumpsDumb 031 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 14/07/2025I want to prepare everyone for the up coming news you might hear… I’m on the list. I must thank Rob Manfred for putting me on the Home Run Derby List. I hit a 496 ft bomb with Barry Obama pitching to me a few minutes ago. Watch out Jazz Chisholm Jr. #MLB #Biden2028 040 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 14/07/2025George and Laura Bush are coming over for dinner later. I’m hoping to get their endorsement for 2028 #Biden2028 051 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 14/07/2025I just helped JD fix a flat tire on his moped. Jill I don’t like eating meatloaf, I’m sorry where were we. #Biden2028 020 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 14/07/2025Barry Obama and I just beat Donald and JD Vance in half court. Waiting on a ride home from Vance, but he’s still in the locker room putting on his eyeliner. Jill knows where the real Black Mamba is. #Biden2028 #Kobe 052 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 14/07/2025They might call me Sleepy Joe but I haven’t slept since 1984. Oh, and I whipped Hegeseths ass for puking on my couch. #Biden 020 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 14/07/2025Jill and Michelle just left, they’re going to thrift stores today. Barrack and I gotta get drunkard Hegeseth off my basement couch before they get back. 031 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 14/07/2025Bill Clinton keeps calling me and asking me what an autopen is. I used USPS to mail this newspaper article from 12.5 years ago when Barrack was my boss. Time to watch Bonanza and The Andy Griffith Show with Jill. Good night kiddos, Joe #Biden2028 #TrumpHasSmallPP www.politico.com/story/2013/0...politico.com10 facts about the 'autopen'How did the bill get signed By President Obama? 051 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 14/07/2025I showed this to Jill and she said, “Lauren Boebert is back to running a restaurant again.” #Biden2028 290 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Jill said it’s Sunday Funday! I’ve done all my chores and Honey Do Lists so I smoked a J with Hunter. Did you know Kid Rock sounds even worse lit? I could whip his ass in his shitty Nashville bar with Bawitdaba playing in the background any day #Biden2028 092 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Barrack and I are close best friends, but it has nothing on the mutual friendship Donald had with Jeff Epstein. Jill is yelling at me, gotta go 3167 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025They’re afraid to play me in table tennis. 060 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025You know who was a great AG, Robert (Bobby) Kennedy. You know, Jill and I have no idea what happened to RFK Jr. I’m hoping to jump in the octagon against him when UFC visits the White House. #Biden2028 010 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Anybody got a few minutes to spot me in my home gym? Hegeseth and Hunter are drunk from brunch and I don’t trust Jill with 10 reps at 275lbs. #Biden2028 050 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Kendrick paged me so I found a pay phone. He says that Gavin Newsom told him that Drake is all over those Epstein files. 081 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Id like to thank Rob Manfred, Commissioner of the MLB for inviting me to pitch the entire 2025 All-Star Game. Unfortunately, Paul Skenes will need to pitch. I have a blister from working on my Ghost Fork and I can’t pass the PED test #Biden2028 130 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025My wife is a Dr. and I’ve had a dementia test, you MAGA fools it’s the Enterprise. I saw Chewies red rocket at the Lincoln Center. 030 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Pete Hegeseth is coming over brunch. Hunter told me that Pete can’t handle his liquor. I’m going to convince him Hunter would make a fine General when he’s wasted 050 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Not many people know I was a Blood at the University of Delaware in 1965, and a Crip at Syracuse University College of Law in 1968. #Thuglife 040 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025I like Harrison Ford but don’t understand how he has the time be a prolific archeologist and fly the Starship Enterprise. 140 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Jill just informed me that Rosie O’Donnell and Roseanne Barr are two different people. #Biden 171 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025I chopped down a cherry tree when I was 6 yrs old like George Washington. I lied about it, I used only my hands. #Biden2028 020 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Good morning America. Jill and I had coffee, did Wordle and I went for a light run. I jogged a 1:28:32 half marathon to stay fit. (That’s 13.1 miles for the MAGA folks who don’t get off the couch.) Barrack Obama is visiting next week, Jill doesn’t think I can dunk on him anymore. #Biden #Biden2028 020 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Damn, Jill’s feeling frisky after her bubble bath. Oh and another thing, I always wanted to thank the person or persons who came up with Dark Brandon. I’m Dark in certain areas and Jill’s about to be reminded. #Biden2028 #Maga 030 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Is it still Caturday? Don’t tell Jill but one time Willow shit in the Lincoln Bedroom. There’s a lot of shit in the White House #Photography #Caturday #Biden2028 070 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Oh and another thing… Jill and I want to congratulate Klay Thompson for hard launching Megan Thee Stallion on Instagram. Now you kids have a good night 040 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Jill and I were chatting on the telephone earlier about how Melindas (or is her name Melinda?) Pimp was a good friend of Jeffery Epstein, seriously. Well going to watch Matlock folks 030 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025I did it in 1:02:86 at Challenge Roth last year. #Biden #Run #Swim #Bike #Triathlon 020 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Ask President Alexander Stubb, how he watched me do a triathlon called Challenge Roth, in Roth, Germany last year in 1:02:86. #Loser 020 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Donald has her trained better than all 3 of my dogs Champ, Major, and Commander. #RIPChamp 060 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025Rosie, Jill and I would like to invite you over for Sunday brunch tomorrow. My son Hunter is coming over and I think you two would hit it off ♥️ 020 0
Joe Bidens Backhand @runmountains.bsky.social · 13/07/2025I still get up to piss in the middle of the night… you piss in a diaper Donald 020 0