iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I'll be signing books today from 9:00 am at Macy’s on 151 West 34th Street, New York. I will be there until I'm forcibly removed by their security.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

I think I may have found Harry Potter’s lost umbrella! If it’s yours, Harry, please get in touch and I’ll happily pop it in the post and send it back to you—no magic required!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Girls toys were certainly a lot different when I was a kid!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Sex always reminds me of Christmas Day morning because it happens once a year; I usually end up disappointed, and my parents videoed my first time.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Just been to Harry Potter World based on the new book.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

This new series of The Muppet Show is certainly more satirical.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

Today reminds me of the day I went on a safari. Somebody forgot the corkscrew, and for several days we had nothing to survive on but just food and water.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 27/04/2026

I saw a Trump version of the Zoltar fortune-telling machine on Paignton Pier. I asked it for some motivation, hope, and what the future holds for mankind over the next 2 ½ years. — It shut itself off!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

To me, beds are just envelopes that mail you to your dreams.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

The worst place to be stung by bees is at a nightclub because it just looks like you're doing some very cool dance moves. Oh sure, you win the dance competition, but at what cost!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

They say that pregnant women emit a radiant "glow", which is why they make terrible snipers.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

Just been reliably informed that my copy of The Beatles Abbey Road album is a fake. Can’t believe I never noticed the mistake before.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

Just received the weirdest message on my computer!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 05/12/2025

Every Christmas, when I see Santa Claus for the first time, I always say, "Hi Santa, how long has it been?" And he always replies, “A year!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 17/11/2025

Remember when Queen performed 'Muppets Of The Universe', 'We Are The Muppets' and 'Tie Your Muppet Down' live on the Muppet Christmas Show? Or is that just another one of my weird dreams?

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 03/11/2025

Jack Daniels whiskey helping rock bands see magical leprechauns since 1875!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 13/10/2025

People always want to know how come I am such a good skier when I’ve never actually taken any skiing lessons!?!? Well, my success is all down to this vinyl record my grandad gave me.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 13/09/2025

My grandpa Beelzebub Gotobed is always complaining that the younger generation never shows the older generation any respect! Well, just to prove him wrong, here is my grandpa enjoying a special dish of his favourite steak and chips.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

If ever a picture was worth a thousand words.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 15/08/2025

Awoken last night by a commotion coming from the bathroom. When I went to investigate, I could not believe my eyes. I bet Andy from ‘Toy Story’ never had this trouble.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 02/08/2025

Well, it could have been worse. It could have been Trump trying to gatecrash my party!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 26/07/2025

My great-grandmother would have survived the sinking of the Titanic if she hadn’t spent three hours looking for a non-smoking lifeboat.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 16/07/2025

Remember the time I hypnotised Paul McCartney into thinking he was the Hulk!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

The lost black and white classic Ingmar Bergman film, “The Seventh Muppet” has recently been restored and remastered. The film depicts the violence and the struggle of modern life through a game of chess played between a disillusioned Kermit The Frog and the figure of Death.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 31/05/2025

Have you seen the latest Donald Trump sex tape that's floating around? It’s sort of hard to follow. He keeps switching positions and chickening out every few seconds.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

Stand-up not going too well. Thinking of going in a different direction.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 11/05/2025

The girlfriend just asked me, "What's that pile of clothes doing on the bedroom floor?" ….I said, "It's a dead Jedi!!"

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 24/04/2025

Apparently they are very popular in Canada, China and Greenland.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 12/04/2025

It's never illogical Captain to look absolutely fabulous!!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 23/03/2025

I remember the day I put so much gasoline in my car I couldn't get in it!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

Just getting ready for my early morning shave.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

Sorry I’m late posting today but I got told off for blocking the blowhole on Ed Sheeran’s inflatable dolphin.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

Today I phoned Mario Bros Plumbing to come and fix my toilet. They arrived in good time but just jumped in my toilet and disappeared. Didn't make any attempt to fix it! 0 out of 5 stars!!

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

WAITER: Sir, do you have any allergies we should know about? ROB: Yes, I have an allergy to peanuts. CHARLIE BROWN: Let's go, Snoopy. It’s obvious we’re not welcome here.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 08/01/2025

I’d forgotten how young I look in this picture. この写真では自分がどれだけ若く見えるか忘れていました。

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 04/01/2025

Cooked my first Japanese meal today. I cooked mushroom gyozas and chicken yaki udon noodles with a soy and ginger dip sauce. Delicious!! 今日は初めての日本食を作りました。きのこ餃子と鶏焼きうどんをしょうが醤油で作りました。美味しい！！

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

One of my sister’s kids has just brought me two bottles of bourbon and said, "Here's your Christmas juice uncle Rob," and now she's the one I'm leaving everything to.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

It’s arrived! Rob Gotobed’s NEW comedy book is in the shops now!!🤪🤓🥸🧐🤠 This book contains the very best of his stand-up routines and what his fans believe to be his funniest radio, television, and stage show scripts ever!😊👍🤣 www.amazon.co.uk/Captain-Casu...

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

ロブ・ゴトベッドが新しいコメディ本を出版しました!🤪 このユーモアのある本が大好きです！それは私を大声で笑わせました。🤓 今まで読んだ中で最も面白い物語が収録されています!!!!!🥸🧐🤠 特にハロウィンやクリスマスに関する面白い話！👻☠️🧛‍♂️🎃⛄ 🎄🎁 🎅 Rob Gotobed の愉快でクレイジーなジャパニーズコメディーショー！🎁 🎅⛄ 🎄🤣🤣 www.amazon.co.jp/-/en/dp/B0BT...

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

Brilliant! My favourite Christmas show ‘When KISS Saved Christmas!’ is on tonight.

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

I got drunk last night and ate half of my kid's gingerbread house. Does anyone know a good gingerbread contractor?

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Rob Gotobed @robgotobed.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

Buzzy, my favourite pet bee, has gone missing again! If you see him, please get in contact.

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