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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB.

@rm86.bsky.social
343 followers 281 following 426 posts

Railway Route Controller, trying to run a patch of railway across the North and North East. Sometimes I succeed. Likes trains, which is probably just as well.

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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
WHSmith: "Why is nobody buying anything in our shops?" Also WHSmith:
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Railways: "We're replacing a junction. We need a tightly-timed block of the area for one weekend. A one hour overrun causes chaos." Roads: "We're digging a small hole. We need a 6-way controlled exclusion zone akin to Bikini Atoll immediately. We might actually start work in eight weeks' time." 😑
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
You pop to Morrisons for five minutes and you miss the PM's resignation speech. Never mind, it's like missing Last Night of the Proms - a shame, but it's always the same and you know there'll be another one next year.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Woke this morning convinced that our entire fleet had suddenly been replaced by a delivery of long-lost locos that looked a bit like the 'Fell' diesel and, for whatever reason, had been discovered in Holland. Alas, t'was but a dream. 😐 Have a, more conventional, Dutch train.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
Me welcoming all my new followers
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Found my Mormon name.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
I love looking at the venues for provincial touring productions. Who, except those with zero sense of adventure, could fail to wonder what a night at the theatre in Hedge End is like? Or how they can book the (fairly substantial) Key in Peterborough alongside Lavenham Village Hall?
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Reposted by Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB.
Jason Hazeley @jasonhazeley.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
A mock-up of the Ordnance Survey Pathfinder map of Trumpton, featuring other fictional UK place names, including Dibley, Emmerdale and Crinkley Bottom.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
It's nice to come into work when there's a little something for your collection waiting for you. ❤️😀🚂
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
Drop a crush from your youth. (Have four, I wasn't fussy. Can't you tell I grew up in the 'nineties?)
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
A little bit of Germany serves you well. 🇩🇪
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Reposted by Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB.
Dan McPainInOneSpecificKnee @danmckee.bsky.social · 03/02/2026
I’m always saying this
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
I've been on my travels. 1719 rail miles, lots of lovely scenery and some jolly good food. Yeah, it's been grand. 😀 Day one: To Inverness:
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
The idea of, at some point in the future, being a set of bones that sets gas board workers and police officers into such a state of befuddlement as only the intrepid local clergy can solve is a distinctly appealing one.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
"Come an' have a go if yer think yer..."
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Decided to bag my first EMR 'Aurora'. Pleasant enough. Little different to your typical IET, though admittedly the seats are a bit better. First Class catering offer still a post-COVID embarrassment, unless you have a thing for New York Deli or egg mayo (I don't). Yeah. So so. 😐
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Been a right old grump today. So, shift over, there's only one thing for it... Trains. This is likely to be my last trip aboard one of Chiltern's Mk3 sets and is, therefore, my last trip aboard a scheduled Mk3-operated service in England.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 10/01/2026
Fun fact: Once you hear the theme to Catchphrase in Thin Lizzy's 'The Boys Are Back In Town' or the Blankety Blank theme in Wham's 'Club Tropicana', finding music from British TV quiz shows in popular songs is quite the wormhole to fall into... Have a train.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
The struggle is real...
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
I hope he sticks it out. Buddy Holly and his gang grew tired of touring randomly around Minnesota and North Dakota with no logical pattern and we know how that ended up... ...with a *really* long song.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
Seeing out the last vestiges of 2025 daylight in my beloved York. Happy New Year, folks.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
Suppose it's better than having a goose smashing through her back door, amirite?! Fnarr.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
It says something about the state of the world that I can brutally assault my ears with these 1998 episodes of #TOTP and still float into a dreamy nostalgic utopia of terracotta wallpaper and Ellesse sweaters... ...as so capably modelled by your humble scribe in, by remarkable coincidence, 1998.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
Last year, I thought it'd be good fun to find and review the Christmas tree at each of London's twelve mainline terminus stations. You all seemed to enjoy it, so join me again for the Great London Christmas Tree Review (Railway Edition) of 2025! What larks! 🌲 🧵
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 14/12/2025
"Featuring Pan's People."
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
*plays Thames TV theme in head*
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 09/12/2025
"On my trolley tonight I have sandwiches, crisps, sweets and fizzy pop!" Didn't realise I'd stumbled into a children's party. Half expecting to be press-ganged into wearing a party hat (young me didn't do hats) and 'joining in' (didn't like doing that, either). Have a train.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 09/12/2025
I couldn't give a flying proverbial about colours and flag references and whatnot, it's just that it looks less like a train livery and more like the tracksuit Keith Allen wore in the 'Vindaloo' video. There's no flair or panache to this at all. 4/10. Could do better.
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Coinman of the Month @meetzow.bsky.social · 08/12/2025
Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair
Preview of news program with title "who should be fed chair?"
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 28/11/2025
Happy Bernard Black Friday to all who celebrate.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
Speaking as a child of the East, when in Norwich, one must pay due respect to the oracle...
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
Me flirting:
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
"Describe yourself in five words."
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Predictions for next year: - Irn-Bru sales will spike - Everyone will be very proud of their suddenly-discovered Great-Great Grandad from Forres - Rikki Fulton will make a miraculous comeback - Window displays of Gary: Tank Commander DVDs will abound in Tonbridge HMV Mark my words.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
🎵 He was educated the expensive way, He knows his... 🎶
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
They do realise that Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal' was meant to be satirical, yes?
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
Every now and then, I wish I didn't like trains so much. What. A. Shift. 😫 That wish never lasts long, mind... Have a train.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
Yes, I can be a pernickety bugger, but I don't think I'm being unreasonable in thinking that whether one of its regions does or does not still have sections of line controlled by semaphore signalling is the sort of thing that Network Rail probably *should* know?
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
In a similar vein, the mid-'80s BBC Video ident which sent toddler me screaming from the room. youtu.be/fq4ftiByb6M?...
youtu.be
BBC Video ident
YouTube video by ratpackmanreturns
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
Meanwhile, in local Faceache groups...
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
I think quite a few women have pulled off Bond.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
Seems legit.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
"Your best route from Leicester to Nottingham is via Dundee, Addis Ababa and Sark. I can't help you with that. A Rail Replacement duck is in operation, and acts as a powerful reminder that, sometimes, when life throws you onions, you just have to fall over."
media.tenor.com
a painting of a lake with surprise written on the bottom right
ALT: a painting of a lake with surprise written on the bottom right
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
"On behalf of the committee... ...the sign in the Gents saying 'Wet Paint' is a statement and not an instruction... Now, let's have a cheer for Roger Whittaker!"
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 08/10/2025
Looking to form a heavy metal band? Not sure of a name? Just listen to Radio 4's Farming Today! I bagsy 'Pig Unit' and 'BSE Explosion', coming to an edition of NME near you...
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
I have a reputation for breaking things, but the power to make railways disappear just by hovering my mouse cursor over them is a new power that I'm not sure I deserve. 😂
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
She's kicked the Bouquet. 😔
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
Otherwise known as me after a cooked breakfast...
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
I have no argument with this. Maybe growing up within easy (and frequently-utilised) reach of Stevenage has some bearing on this, but I do love me a New Town. People sneer at them now, but so readily forget the unbearable Dickensian conditions they replaced in the lives of their early inhabitants.
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Capt. Osbert Twinge Bt. KCB. @rm86.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
SPREAD CREAM NOT CHEESE DISEASE!
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