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Safer Paper

@risottodazoto.bsky.social
105 followers 112 following 719 posts

a god/semi-sentient mushroom with delusions of grandeur archiveofourown.org/users/Xpaperpla…

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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Work is so boring today that I didn't mind having to put a new roll in the annoying ass paper towel dispenser. If the barcode printer ran out of ribbon, I'd be on that ball in a flash. I'm currently thinking up all the reasons why this rabbit might be smoking and pretending it's work.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I did the thing like I'm cool! I am also basically a two trick pony with some outliers.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I like crunchy leaf season 🥰
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
It's so late!!
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I'm going to see Ghost in the Shell tonight for its 30th anniversary. The showing doesn't even start until 9:50 pm. I may die. Don't they know that people going to a 30th anniversary event are old??
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I have been condemned to handwriting. It is not going well. I've gotten my iPad up to 28% but my battery pack sucks and there's not enough sun to even get a trickle of charge going from solar. The muse is really enthusiastic about this though! Maybe I'll go home tomorrow.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Nothing makes me feel existential quite like the milky way. I can see the galaxy, but I'm in the galaxy??
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
If I liked marshmallows, this would be the best dying fire.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Mogget did not appreciate me decorating Magical Trevor Mk. 2 and the lack of kibble involved in the process.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Wow the new Ghost in the Shell is bad. Like, I'm genuinely angry with it for fucking up so badly, bad.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
The wrong 80-year-olds are dying
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I'm back on my iron chef game and it's so homoerotic. A younger man with a longer sword planning a coup against my iron slut--sorry chef.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
HAHAHAHAHA I have taken the Internet away from my so-called "smart" tv and will not be returning it. No more very important AI updates for you, glorified third monitor!!
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Ice cream truck summoning circle
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
I finished a thing and it's way too hot to wear 🫠
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
This is such excellent cover design. I can't stop looking at it
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Reposted by Safer Paper
AO3 Status @status.archiveofourown.org · 23/07/2026
#AO3 has recently seen a wave of phishing comments claiming to be made by "AO3 Trust & Safety" notifying you that your account has been restricted. These claims are not true. Do not click on links in these comments or pay for verification. Read more at otw-news.org/5n972k6a
AO3 Update
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
No problem!
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
I feel like I should probably be judged for this, but I can't tell the difference between skunk and weed.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
I love spiders. I was trying to kill a mosquito and this sassy mofo just ran out of its corner, grabbed it, and ran back quick as a flash like a shuttle runner of death.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
How is it that they make waterproof, submersible, rechargeable vibes, but can't manage the same for a portable shower pump? What do you mean don't get it wet??? IT'S A SHOWER!!
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Funny thing about no one out here except two strangers hired to work on one of the cabins is how it either leads to axe murdering or may we please use your nice outhouse, this one is horrific and we've got steak, potatoes, and salad for you, I'll holler when it's ready.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Teresa of the Long Silence can carry a lantern!!! 10/10 best mannequin security I've ever hired
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Nothing quite like trying to pee at the rest stop while Google shrieks at you to turn left out of the parking lot. Calm your fucking tits, Google, we will survive this trial.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
The things you never knew existed! Wheel chair fencing!
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
My gas tank is full, my alarm is paused until July 20, I have failed at grocery shopping but probably someone will feed me, I haven't packed anything but books and booze. Ready for my vacation!
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
I've had my car since 2008 and have always thought I need to get a seatbelt adjuster so the torso strap stops lying against my neck. Today I finally got one and in the process of installing it learned that my car has very handy built in adjusters for the height of the torso strap. WTF
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
I really need Viz to come out with a Dorohedoro box set. Their boxes are so good and I don't want to order two copies each of 23 volumes of manga and get an email from invoicing saying "really PP wtf did you mean to do that?"
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
My stupid Clow/Clowd cards thought has taken up residence in my head and I fear I might actually end up writing it down. I know nothing of trading card games or how they work though...
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
One of my favourite things about the 3D remake in particular is putting Cecil and Rosa together at the top of the party and Kain at the bottom and making Kain use Cry in every fight.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
It probably seems like I give new HR guy a lot of shit, perhaps unjustly, but he was tasked with processing today and good god, I refuse to believe the man has children with how bad his sticker application skills are.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Yellow rainfall warning. Watch out. Water sports isn't polo.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
I love FFIV so much
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
I've been thinking about if I'd like to do another sefikura fairy tale this summer and if so which one. Today I read an easy reader which was very inspirational and definitely captured the nuance of the tale. It was level 2, even!
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Wedding rehearsal today. I like how when you arrive in a small town in southern Alberta there is always the fake log cabin style building and contained within is the Shell, the Subway (sign faded, looks like it hasn't opened in 20 years but will sell you a sandwich), and the liquor store.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
I was reading book summaries and it occurred to me that I'm going to be the aunt my nieces never knew they had. So I want to change my will and leave them something weird to deal with. Like a cursed xylophone or a haunted trailer park.
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Reposted by Safer Paper
Naphyla @naphyla.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
hello hello, i'm temporarily opening 2 slots on vgen! these will be skeb "surprise me" style portraits. this isn't for an emergency or anything (the only emergency being my yaoi funds are low lol), but sharing is still much appreciated! 🙏
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
My hed iz pastede on yay! On the bright side it's still more interesting than 90% of the generic blob cover art. I've spent a good 15 minutes laughing and showing it to other people. Quality entertainment!
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
One day I'll sleep well enough to walk by the Brittany and Normandy travel guide that's sitting on the free books table and understand that Brittany is real. My sleep-deprived brain, however, equates it with Camelot.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
The other half of our duplex is up for sale and I think it's a crime that potential buyers don't have to submit an application to live next to us. No children! No dogs! No crocus kickers! I'm going to listen to obscene smut on speaker while sitting outside and loudly talk about the drug dealers.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
I really like just not getting woken up at stupid o'clock on a holiday. But I also like, when I forget to pause my alarm, being able to just go FUCK OFF before going back to sleep at stupid o'clock on a holiday. It's a real dilemma.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
I don't think that the random bathroom spiders have enough appreciation for my being a spider appreciator. Because moving things that aren't me reflected in the mirror are either ghosts or Satan and I can't be blamed for reflexive self-defence against ghosts and Satan. The giant spider lives though.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
Processing books is like eating a Viva Puff. Delicious/fun with stickers and stamping, then no need to even consider doing it again for at least two years.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
I was bribed into helping in processing today. It's been an hour and so far I've determined that stamping nicely is really hard and if I had a convertible desk, I would actually stand a lot less than I think I would.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
This morning Mogget got me and the coffee maker mixed up. He was quite upset that I, an evil assassin, tried to give him his churu instead of the kind and trustworthy coffee maker. Monday mornings are hard for everyone.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
The world is an angry place, but beerfest is weirdly the antithesis of that. Hyper-well organised, friendly, happy people despite the potential for angry drunks and other bullshit. Bump into someone? Sorry, sorry, sorry, have a good day.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
I got my car's tires changed today. The shuttle driver asked if the warehouse where I work was my house. It was weird.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
There comes a point where winter really needs to just fuck right off.
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
Today my supervisor praised me for my ability to frame "does not listen to instructions" as constructive criticism. She had been struggling 😂
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Safer Paper @risottodazoto.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
I'm making ale and onion soup and thought I should test the ale to make sure it's nice before putting it in onions that have been cooking for 20 hours. Only I haven't had a full-strength drink since December and holy shit that went straight to my head. It's a very nice beer at least.
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