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The Ultimate Worrier ™

@ribbons.bsky.social
98 followers 102 following 2.3K posts

A few sentient thoughts interspersed between BAD PUNS AND PARODY. My ReSkeets are not just endorsements, they're also requests for sex. I once made $5 online. Pronouns: Me/Mine.

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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 2h
Landowners during slavery were living large. They had people do all their chores. No wonder they didn't want to give it up. Once you life that life, it's hard to downgrade. Some places still have this system, although the people who do menial work are not called slaves.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 21h
The plague might be back. It's started in Russia. Super news.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
In the Middle East, they just chop your head. No botched executions. Heads up. Saudi Arabia executed almost 400 in 2025.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
In Canada they allow people who are not well to commit suicide. It's assisted suicide. No botched suicides. It's a hot topic b/c that law is being misused. However, I think people should have the right to die with dignity.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Shoeing horses looks like a fun job.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
We actually need an armageddon to even things out.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
High tea is dead. Long live high tea.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
MAGA loves mail-order brides, but the friction in getting one can be tough. So I made a mail-order bride vending machine for MAGA slackers. You put some currency in and out pops a mail-order trad wife.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
An erection is a dead giveaway.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The relationship between IQ and the ability to recognize satire.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Some guy was fired after he got injured at work and asked to see a doctor. They said he was late and absent--A lie. This guy had a Google timeline of every day he went to work. That's actually pretty smart if you expect your employer to do shady things.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The US passed a federal law, Big Cat Public Safety Act, in 2022 that prohibits new private ownership of big cats. Some big cats can't be domesticated and they're dangerous. But my nit is that people should be allowed to take risks. If they become lunch, that's on them. Also, Cheetahs are friendly.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Some girl couldn't get a job and jokingly said she might become a tradwife. Damn, that's true! Tradwives don't want to work, but IMO housework and cooking is much worse than a regular desk job. The worst thing is after some time, the man can just dump you and move to a younger model.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
What is specially dangerous with the new right-wing surge is doctors screwing patients they don't see as human. South African doctors did this even in the 90s.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The Sri Lankan people have committed genocide against the Tamils. I'm only mentioning this because Germany's AfD's Lesbian Hitler's Sri Lankan partdner only makes sense if you take this info into context. I don't know her Sri Lankan partdner, but everyone has seen how Lesbian Hitler is. #AfD
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
OpenAI handing out free usage to people is like the CIA giving drugs to addicts to keep them hooked. After some time, they are depended b/c the alternative is too unpleasant.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
What is interesting is that nationalism is not limited to people from good countries. Even people from the shittiest shithole on the planet are hyper nationalists and hate foreigners.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
There is a little latent homosexual lurking in every dictator loving fascist.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I thought kids today stayed at home and played video games. Also, if you want to move to a small town in Germany/Europe, it's not exactly picture perfect.
Kids throw tomatoes, eggs, and piss bags at apartment in Germany.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I read a post where some woman in a gym accused a guy of looking. The thing is, I don't know if the post is real or just to farm Reddit karma. But I don't even look these days.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Some guy is crying b/c he use ChatGPT to do everything and now his account is banned and any new account he creates also gets banned. So now he can't do anything.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I logged into LinkedIn after years and I'm hit with people saying they are homeless and living out of their car and they have applied to thousands of jobs over many years, but are not getting anywhere. And they are not even software developers. Anyway, I logged out. AI will make things worse.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
What's a yogagasm?
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I'm now under contract that everything I say and write has to generated by AI. They are always watching me.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Kids today seem to have no idea of how the economic machine works. No idea that another person's work is never free. No wonder they can't get jobs.
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Reposted by The Ultimate Worrier ™
Sky News @news.sky.com · 23/09/2026
How do we test AI when it's not fully understood?
news.sky.com
How do we test AI when it's not fully understood?
How far are we from AI developing recursive self-improvement, where AI systems write their own code?
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Pedophile Sheikh Ahmed, brother of major pedophile Dubai Ruler Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, has died. www.newyorker.com/magazine/202... Also, the Tate brothers won't be released. It's good news Tuesday.
newyorker.com
The Fugitive Princesses of Dubai
As the emirate’s ruler espoused gender equality, four royal women staked their lives on escaping his control.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
There is a dildo God in Hinduism called Shiva. It is a literal penis carved out of stone with three horizontal lines (the genitals) drawn on it. However, if you tell them that, they will be upset.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Lesbian Hitler wins again. The news is bad, but she's a lesbian from a Nazi family with a Sri Lankan lover who hates people of color. She has adopted children b/c noone would lend her a penis. If Hitler had a vagina, would you risk it?
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Persistent begging for an app that costs $8 for lifetime unlock. His Gmail timezone offset tells me that he may be in the US. The guilt trip is nice: what has the world come to if people won't give others what they want for free? I'm not worried about bad reviews from freeloaders b/c it's Android.
Someone begging for an $8 android app.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
You should always keep your passport in a ziploc bag. I used to keep it in a paper envelope, and once when I kept it in my jacket pocket, it got soaked with sweat. It'd been worse if it rained.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
A Masturbator is the person who masturbates. A Masturbatee is the person who the masturbator masturbates to.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
If you were an immigrant, would it be more dangerous to approach a neighbor who is a MAGA voter or one who is an AfD voter?
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I don't like to lie to people, but sometimes it makes sense. I remember when I had dogs, I was buying a lot of milk and eggs and the cashier asked me if I had kids. I said, no, those are for my dogs. She looked sad, perhaps b/c she can't even afford them for herself.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Humans have been cooking with fire since prehistoric times. Now fire bad. Me no like. Me want fire.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The thots of Chairman Mao.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Why can't a grown man love a pigeon?
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
The "knees" people are fighting the "cans" people: 🇨🇳 Chai knees 🇯🇵 Japa knees 🇹🇼 Taiwan knees 🇭🇰 Canton knees 🇱🇧 Leban knees 🇸🇩 Sudan knees 🇧🇹 Bhutan knees 🇮🇩 Java knees 🇮🇩 Balin knees 🇮🇩 Sundan knees 🇬🇾 Guyan knees 🇬🇦 Gabon knees 🇧🇯 Benin knees vs ...
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Normally, if you shit yourself, you'd stop. But not Joanna Wietrzyk. She just kept going. It's might be an Australian thing. 7news.com.au/sport/puma-d...
7news.com.au
Aussie Hyrox athlete cops huge blow as PUMA line dropped
The retail line of workout gear quietly disappeared from the global sports brand’s online store.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Does any man worship their woman? This is what she wants.
Woman who wants her man to worship her.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I came across an interesting comment when reading about the Psycho from hell landlord in Canada.
When shit happens, it's just business with corporate landlords. With people, it gets personal.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I was so excited last night. No. I wasn't getting laid. I tried a new sleeping pill called Lemborexant. It came out a few years ago: not addictive or anticholinergic or anything. 5 mg didn't work. 10 mg didn't work. Fuck. That means Dual Orexin Receptor Antagonist (DORA) drugs don't work for me.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
This girl's landlord was a Hasidic Jew. He was checking her out and she called the cops. Then, he stole all her jewelry. Some people are telling me to always rent from companies. When I was young, you always rented from individuals and these things never happened.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I'm going to try an experiment by raising the price 60% and then giving a special offer (which is the actual price).
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
If I sold stuff on Shopify or some other site, I'd be rich by now. Sell a pic of that lady with the text GET OUT OF MY UNIT!
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
The whole Internet has seen this psycho: Landlord Raj Tiwana of Tiwana Farms property. Volume up!
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
The Neo Nazis are foaming at the mouth in Germany. One man, Elon Musk, can do a lot of damage. In the 1950s, the government would have just taken him out.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I was able to understand jokes and sarcasm when I was young. Kids today understand nothing.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
If you sign away your IP for free and they fire you the next day, you got nothing.
Employer wants rights to the software that employees created long before joining the company.
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The Ultimate Worrier ™ @ribbons.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Fantastic.
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