iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Rebecca Blaylock

Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 28/12/2024

What are we DOING here? We're just meant to sit and act like this insane plagiarism and climate threat that requires more money than anything has ever cost is worth it? Are we meant to pretend that ChatGPT is worth this aimless, meaningless destruction of capital and our environment? For what?

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Thank you! It was so relaxing. I’ve never done it before but would definitely recommend!

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Next time you’re in London let’s hope it coincides with Collage Club!!

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Tonight at @lshtm.bsky.social Collage Club: reworking a beautiful Landworker’s Alliance calendar. Lovely way to decompress after a busy day and long supervision!

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

Some nice trees between home and the library. Grateful for my corner of London.

A row of trees against a clear autumn sky casting long shadows on the grass.

A tree still with leaves which are turning lime green.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

I do! Now I’m intrigued to find this long lost relative!

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

I’d be really surprised if so, I’ve never met another Blaylock I’m not related to!

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

That’s so kind thank you! Ah the grief bomb… comes from nowhere swiftly followed by a grief hangover. The price we pay for love 💕

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

I hope these reflections help someone out there who might be going through the same thing, or navigating academia whilst grieving. Maybe I’ll add to it, let’s see!

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

I am forever changed by being a carer and being with Dad as they died. I might not be able to remember everything, but I think I am a kinder person, more empathetic, and more confident than ever at speaking truth to power. These are very useful skills for a PhD and the world of health equity.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

And finally, MEMORY. I feel like my memory has been really impacted by the last few years. I’ve had to be really meticulous in the way I do things and have sometimes asked people if I can record meetings as I struggle to listen and take notes at the same time.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

This might be because they go off less frequently, but there’s also something very surreal about someone dying. I think it only gets more bizarre and unbelievable the further you are from the event.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

However, another upside! Who knew there were so many upsides… I honestly think I would still really struggle to do a “normal” job full time. I often get to Thursday night and I’m shattered. I can get through most days now, but I feel like when a grief bomb goes off it goes off big time.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

However, there is something very lonely and isolating in grief. PhDs are famously lonely and isolating too. Seeking out community and supporting each other is so important but it’s not always easy. This is definitely something I’m feeling a lot atm.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

ONE YEAR IN: it is too complicated to talk about how I experience grief now, because I can’t quite articulate it myself. It doesn’t fade or go away, and I’m not sure about the analogy of the jar growing around it tbh. I liken it more to a virus that mutates and affects you in different ways.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

It’s important to find a balance between starting a fresh and embarking on a new stage in life (which comes with guilt of leaving your person behind), and helping people understand the journey you’ve been on to get there. Supportive supervisors really helped, as did introducing key people to Pip.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Whilst the PhD gave me more flexibility, I think the depths of grief I was experiencing really impacted my ability to make friends in my new workplace. I was feeling all the feelings and wanted to talk about this person who they had no idea existed. They hadn’t been on the journey with me.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

In hindsight this is when things really fell apart. I was a wreck physically and mentally. But starting a PhD as opposed to doing a ‘normal’ job allowed me to be in charge of my own time a bit more, seek support and build my schedule around things that helped me wade through the days.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

The 1st anniversary holds a lot of weight with those who are grieving. This might not be the case for everyone but it did mark a shift in my grief. Things went from me simply concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other and keeping myself alive to feeling the full force of my grief.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

STARTING THE PHD: I could choose from two start dates and decided to delay until a full year had passed since Dad died. There’s no way I could have started before then. I don’t remember much from that year at all, but I don’t think it was that great.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

I only remember snippets from that time, as grief has a handy way of making you forget a lot of stuff. Another surprising upside is I don’t remember anything from the interview. I think this is a good thing as NIHR interview panels are notoriously big and quite hardcore 🤣.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

were incredibly kind. The person at my uni @lshtm.bsky.social who arranged my mock interview took the time to edit out the bits where I cried from the recording that was made for me to review and refine my interview techniques. I will never forget how kind that was.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

INTERVIEW: the invitation for interview came about two weeks after Dad died and before we had the funeral. I considered withdrawing and applying again- although I have no idea if that would have been allowed in my circumstances. Preparing for the interview was awful even though lots of people…

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Whilst I really wanted to get the fellowship, I also had something to keep the whole thing in perspective. Wouldn’t recommend manufacturing a major personal crisis to go alongside the application but in hindsight I think it weirdly helped.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

APPLYING: I applied for my @nihr.bsky.social fellowship whilst caring for Dad. A surprising upside to this was it gave us both something tangible in the future to focus on. The application, whilst a beast, was far from the biggest thing going on in my life.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

I’ve spoken about my Dad and their death quite a lot in other places, but for now I will just focus on the experience of navigating a PhD and the world of grief…

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

My dad, Pip, died in September 2022 just 12 weeks after being diagnosed with a brain tumour. So I’m still in what I would describe as early-ish days of grief. That might sound surprising to someone who hasn’t been through it as two years sounds like a lot of time.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Given it is such a universal experience, I’m yet to see many people talk about the experience of doing a #PhD whilst grieving. I’m going to start a thread of my reflections- I may or may not add to it. #Grief is so lonely and even if it helps just one person then it’s worth over sharing! 🧵

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

I have no idea how far my reach is currently…But if there is anyone out there considering an @nihr.bsky.social doctoral fellowship, I’m very happy to share my experiences and help where I can. Please get in touch if that is you! #phd #fellowship

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

V interesting work coming from Rishita- do check the job requirements and eligibility before you inundate her with questions!

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

The pressure to now post something that isn’t a cat or yarn-related 🤣 Jokes aside, thanks for the shout out!

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Can confirm it isn’t wonky in real life

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Reposted by Rebecca Blaylock

Billy Quilty @bquilty.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Thanks @lshtm.bsky.social for putting my "accidental aRt" up in the new building at Tavistock Place! I knew GCSE Art would pay off some day.

Accidental aRt made in R and ggplot2 when trying to make a figure showing how different S. pneumoniae serotyping and genotyping methods agree with each other.

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 18/11/2024

👋 hi, I’m Rebecca! Professionally, I’m interested in health inequalities and how health systems (re)produce them. Personally, I’m a keen knitter, lover of the outdoors, and am often pining for the east coast. 🌊☀️

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Reposted by Rebecca Blaylock

The Purled Bird (aka vickievet) @vickievet.bsky.social · 12/11/2024

Jumping ship from Threads after jumping ship from Twitter. This feels like a fitting first post. My first attempt at intarsia knitting #memes #knitting

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Reposted by Rebecca Blaylock

Chelsea Polis @cbpolis.bsky.social · 09/11/2024

I haven't seen one out there yet, so I created a Sexual and Reproductive Health starter pack! Let me know who I missed that's here. Looking forward to building back community here, especially as we gear up for these next few years. go.bsky.app/6WuJVjj

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 10/11/2023

This was exactly the kind of thing I meant www.theguardian.com/world/2023/n...

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 30/10/2023

Worth remembering that these are the cases brought into the public domain. I shudder to think what is happening that hasn’t been surfaced yet. Anyone in the community who is complacent about the need from decrim really needs to reflect on their position. www.tortoisemedia.com/2023/10/30/b...

tortoisemedia.com

British police testing women for abortion drugs - Tortoise

Forensic reports seen by Tortoise show police requesting tests for mifepristone and misoprostol

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/10/2023

… 🎤*tap*… is this thing on?

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Rebecca Blaylock @rblaylock.bsky.social · 26/10/2023

Had three men visit our normally women only workspace yesterday… cue three hours of disruption, questions about how to use computers, fidgeting etc. they left, beaming, “wow, you guys are so productive!” 🤦🏻‍♀️

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