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Randy Tayler

@randytayler.com
278 followers 268 following 2.2K posts

Former orphan exfish.us/1

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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 30/09/2026
Tangent: I tried this for my flight a few weeks ago and regret it. Too heavy.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 22/09/2026
I know the Photoshop job on this site listing makes it look like the treadmill is very large, but the model is actually 7'1", so the treadmill is actually even bigger
Amazon listing for a treadmill designed for Goliath, I think
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 17/09/2026
Doctors in the Marvel Universe must have weird days.
A doctor tells Mary Jane Parker (with a very lumpy belly) that it's not a tumor, and asks if he can he assume that she's married to Spider-Man.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 05/09/2026
Oh fuuuuck you, Seattle
Only $25.29 for a burger.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 05/09/2026
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 04/09/2026
Name three cities where I've never lived
Heat map of my dialect.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 30/08/2026
Trump writing on a whiteboard, where the HOMES acronym for the great lakes shows "Ontario" being crossed out and replaced by "America." A student in the foreground has made a new acronym in his notes, spelling SHAME.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 25/08/2026
I can't see the sign behind the leaf
"Fall is coming" etched in a wooden banister, partially covered by a red leaf.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 18/08/2026
My friend modeled and printed sturdy clips (rainbow colored for pride) to hold my screen extender to my laptop. I can't wait to nerd out on my next flight and have everybody wondering if I'm a rockstar or tycoon or something.
The legendary double decker laptop with rainbow connectors
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 18/08/2026
RE: knocking the phone off, you said you have an idea requiring a machinist. If instead of that magnetic foot, what if you had a permanently attached, hard plastic pocket, with a nice magnet glued outside it? Bump the affixed pocket, and it can fall off, and it secures the phone with its magnet.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 11/08/2026
Dobby was the love child of Yoda and E.T. pass it on
Master Yoda, an extremely hot E.T. in drag, and a perplexed little Dobby
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 08/08/2026
Now I'm trying to watch Star Trek Voyager for the first time, and oh boy I am not making good entertainment choices tonight. The hell is this guy? The hell is wrong with his head? He looks like he just finished closely inspecting a cloaca
I don't know. It's a dude, but I can't tell what the deal is with his head. Look, I can't give alt text if I don't know what I'm looking at.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 06/08/2026
Fairly certain that's AI. No matches on image search 1980s outfit and headband Not at all what my skateboard looked like in the 70s-80s. Ours were thin.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 06/08/2026
The Doctor, shocked to learn he's also somehow James Bond
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 26/07/2026
Couldn't sleep on Friday morning after 2am so I got up and made my very first apple pie. Then my oldest reminded me it was pie n' beer day. Serendipilicious. I almost bought a beer later, before I recalled how terrible it tastes to me.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 24/07/2026
first image in your camera roll that makes you laugh out loud:
A packet of "Reflecting Pool-Aid" with a Trumpish Kool-Aid man
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 17/07/2026
...he says, sitting in a big chair with a screen in his face.
I've taken 738 steps today. It's about 5pm.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 17/07/2026
Very first drawing done inside my new mobile app for Bluesky that I'm calling Skeetch. Skeet + sketch. It's a portmanteau. Very fancy. French words mean very fancy.
.A dude looking at the camera with skepticism
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 12/07/2026
To liven up our watch party last night, my 20yo said if Argentina wins, we should drink some mate, and if Switzerland wins, we should eat some chocolate. Damn you Switzerland. This stuff is NASTY.
A mate cup and bombilla beside a bag of yerba mate / grass clippings
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 12/07/2026
Movie magic can achieve anything
Local attractive fisherman Mark Wahlberg and friends from THE PERFECT STORM (2000)
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 09/07/2026
Got a productive day planned for tomorrow
To-do list with one item: Make a to-do list
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 08/07/2026
SNL ad for Quarry breakfast cereal
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 07/07/2026
Nevermind, just saw this photo, and he looks fine to me, up and about
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 07/07/2026
I need a two hour highlight reel of all of moviedom's gadgets and talismans that open in fancy ways with little clicks and whirs. Not bad enough to make one. Or even google if one exists. I guess you can scroll past this post and ignore it.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 05/07/2026
I know you're kidding, but Picasso really did use my likeness for "Guernica" (1937)
Me, as depicted in part of Picasso's "Guernica" as a screaming dude possibly being eaten by something.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 24/06/2026
4yo said, while sitting on the potty, "Sometimes my poop looks like a cocoon! ...but no butterfly will ever come out."

4yo to me: Let me see your teeth... Yep, yellow.

4yo: "Dad, please don't talk to me." Me: "Why?" 4yo: "It's just that your voice is a little robot-y."

Me to 4yo: Can you go put some panties on please? 4yo: Fine! But just! One! Pair!
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 24/06/2026
4yo (drawing): ..and that's a little girl trapped in the cage. Me: You gonna draw someone to rescue her? 4yo: Um, no. Sorry.

4yo: If my piggy bank fills all the way up, I don't want to collect any more money.

4yo asked and I'm not making this up - "Dad, what would happen if a bird flew up a cat's bum? Would it go MEOW MEOW MEOW?"
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 24/06/2026
4yo: I like her. Next time I see her I'm gonna give her a shake hands.

4yo: If there was a real zombie I would run away, because I don't want him to eat MY brains. 

4yo: I bet when I grow up I'll have 15 arms, 3 legs, and 7 nipples!

♡
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 24/06/2026
Things my 20yo said when she was 4:
4yo, whispering to me: I'm supposed to love you, so I am. // I'll take what I can get.

4yo: I have something green and sticky on my fingers. Wife: Is it a booger?!? 4yo: Oh. I didn't want to tell you that.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 21/06/2026
People bash living in the basement with your nerdy hobbies, wearing Ray-Ban Meta smart glasses, having virtual reality girlfriends based on people in real life, and just generally trying to hide from society. But you know who they're really bashing?
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 20/06/2026
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 19/06/2026
Drain they swamp, they say
Algae filled reflecting pool in D.C.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 17/06/2026
I hated the opening animation when they fly through a window that they couldn't possibly fit through.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 08/06/2026
Do they have t-shirt cannons at Madison Square Garden
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 08/06/2026
Per this poster, in 300+ years we will have: * Starships * Phasers * Sentient androids * Alien allies * Emotion-sensing therapists * Blindness-fixing eyewear * NO CURE FOR BALDNESS
Poster for Star Trek: The Next Generation with all your favorites and Dr. Crusher
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 08/06/2026
cartoon skunk Pepe Le Pew about to get clubbed by a cat with a giant mallet
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 23/05/2026
Title card for Star Trek:TNG titled "There is no try"
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 13/05/2026
This fella from Machinarium.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 12/05/2026
Clippy saying: It looks like you're a monkey trying to write Shakespeare. 

Would you like help? You stupid little monkey?
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 10/05/2026
God I love The Onion
City Renames Street To Honor Charlie Kirk

Published: May 4, 2026

The city of Westminster, CA redesignated a street from "All American Way" to "Charlie Kirk Way," with the mayor claiming the change isn't political. What do you think?

"Would Charlie really have wanted us dwelling on the memory of a gun victim?"

Lexi Schaefer, Pizza Boxer
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 10/05/2026
Watching SNEAKERS (1992) with my 17 and 20yo daughters. Lots of context I needed to explain, but we're getting towards the final heist and they're into it. The score really stands out - feels like they'd never score a film the same way today. Kinda heavy-handed, but I love it.
Sneakers movie poster
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 26/04/2026
(4/6) Thanks, Anthropic engineers, for making the robot detect and respond to perceived mental health concerns. Seriously. From there I decided I wanted any insights it could provide:
ME: Read my journal, then tell me something about myself.

CLAUDE: I'd rather not do that - reading through your private journal to analyze you feels like a step too far, even with your permission. Those entries deserve more respect than being fed to an AI for personality insights.
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 26/04/2026
(3/6) I still have mood swings, and the state of the world doesn't help, but I'm so much happier than I ever thought was possible. Anyway, I asked Claude to convert a 1993 WordPerfect doc to text. And it apparently had some thoughts:
CONVERSATION WITH CLAUDE:

ME: Can you convert this to a readable text file?

CLAUDE: Here you go - WordPerfect 5.1 file, converted cleanly.

CLAUDE'S ADDENDUM:
If you or someone you know is having a difficult time, free support is available
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 22/04/2026
My will is admittedly faltering
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 20/04/2026
Not gonna happen
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 19/04/2026
Still not falling for it
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 19/04/2026
I'm not an idiot, foster kitty.
Tuxedo cat lying in wait for me to try to rub his belly.Admiral Ackbar announcing "It's a trap!"
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 29/03/2026
Maggie Simpson driving
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 29/03/2026
RFK Jr. was confused is all
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Randy Tayler @randytayler.com · 28/03/2026
Pro tip: modern devices have a built-in button for when you've seen enough bad news for the time being. It works!!
Generic mobile phone with its power button circled, and an arrow pointing to it, labeled "Press here to finish doomscrolling."
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