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Rain

@raininginmountains.bsky.social
75 followers 62 following 436 posts

aspiring author, west virginian lesbian, 22 my account to work on original stories and talk about appalachian stuff, mental health, and other things I feel bad about doing on my larger, more social account

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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
stormy days stir my writer's heart - the uncaring clouds, the thunder rumbling, my anxiety dancing to its tune, a memory of what it means to live in these hollows to be amidst the rain, to live at the mercy of the weather, fog and storm and death, is part of what makes life so beautiful here
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
how i crave to say no, to point to those far better than me, yet i cannot surrender actualization: even knowing i am flawed, even feeling inferior and worthless, i cannot ever abandon my own experiences and become the mouthpiece of others
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
is this what it means to be Appalachian, to me? can i be proud of this? is there beauty in this horrible curse, in feeling like i am lesser than all who i speak with because i was born wallowing in filth and can no longer smell my stench?
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
how does one become proud, become happy and clean and organized and focused, when they have become strong enough to live only by ignoring the filth, the chaos, by embracing the distractions? it feels impossible, yet in the same vein, almost self imposed
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
those around me act to endlessly enable it, adding to my own workload in cleaning their messes and curbing their habits, but i don’t feel any better than them, i was only doing so well even when their strain was minimal
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
i dont even think poverty is the problem, virtue among poverty is plentiful, but i feel shackled by the piled filth and learned apathy and lack of education ive seen so much of - it feels like the strength i developed to survive it has rendered me completely unable to leave it
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
one thing i hope to explore and understand through writing is this pervasive feeling that i was born of trash and so i cannot ever be more - that the jadedness of my childhood has rendered me incapable of ever being more than another generation of trailer trash, that im not able to be more
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
i have a lot to think on but my struggle is finding answers that satisfy i am not well-read, so i worry about writing of something shallow that will be critiqued as the work of someone too uneducated, too narrow in their focus to ponder the implications beyond that scale
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
recently ive also been thinking a lot about seasonality and time and what it means to live within versus beyond that - how we live in a world where people run restaurants that import ingredients by airplane from across the world, how we grow out-of-season food in vast scales, etc
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
ive been working on a high fantasy project lately and sort of want to explore the nature between instinct/compulsion and order/restraint, how the restrictions of the 'civilized' world lead to talent fading and dulling because they cannot be their truest self
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
back to my regular fogposting as i begin to ponder the nature of personhood - my writing has been focused on large-scale worldbuiding, but i stagnated there as i must zoom in and find meaning and philosophy to commit to and explore
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
I’ve been doing pretty well lately but for some reason my memory is just really bad - I tried starting a journal and it’s been working somewhat but some days I forget to even write much and it feels like I don’t really think much at all hoping to counteract this so i can think and thus write
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
the fact that it remains in my memory feels important, and iwant to understand why i dreamt of such a thing, what it means to see life crawling like that
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
yesterday, hungover, i dreamt - a meaningless dream, yet as if staring at a screen, it crawled with bugs layering it, a separation of existence from the dream itself, something from a deeper layer of my consciousness than the wisps of memory, crawling and gnawing and buzzing
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
I despise when people treat writing like a competition to optimize, calling some things overused or trying to dictate creativity based on what is most effective - it’s one thing for a writer to do that to get paid, but for someone to say that about other writers is a vicious curse
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
every time I see ‘writers need to stop doing this’ or ‘this is too overused in fantasy’ it makes me want to write with a bit of anger in my heart - something with swaths of worldbuilding and dynamics those people could never enjoy, yet well written nonetheless
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
recently ive been considering a side project completely opposite of appalachiaslop in terms of fantasy - outrageous high fantasy with sky ships and arch mages and calamities wrought by mortal hand, old gods still awake rather than slumbering, and of course, beautiful typhonine women
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
i tried using art for this when younger but never really dedicated the time and effort it takes to become a visual artist beyond doing some graphic design, mostly i end up just expressing myself through poetic vagueposts when organized language fails me
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
mine works ish but i have asthma so i only really smell when im cooking something or it’s really distinct (like petrichor), i struggle to remember to write it bc of that even though i know a normal persons nose works twenty four seven
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
it feels nice, at times, and makes me feel more intelligent than the words im capable of producing, but it also leads me to feel like i babble without truly communicating the depth, despite knowing a language and two thirds of another
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
one thing that feels weird to admit as a writer is im very much bound by my senses in thought and so i often can’t find good words for things i perceive as highly defined concepts in my head - its all a mess of pains and lights and sounds and comparisons that i feel like i dumb down to vocalize
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
I know this state fades, all things do, but it’s just an interesting comparison, a sheer difference
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
it’s sort of like living in a white noise state and then suddenly you have music and the music can be good or it can go bad but it’s different than white noise, I have a solid answer when asked ‘how are you’ for once instead of a vague discomforted ‘im doing okay’
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
I hit a high after a liminal state somewhere between sleep and wakefulness and felt spikes of elevated emotion, and it was such a sharp contrast - a dozen ‘mild joy’ notes of a day paling compared to the smallest happy moment of that state
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
journaling my emotional state today and matching it to my mess of memories over the past while made me really realize how much of my life is spent in a very empty state - not even totally empty, but with such mildness that only small bits of muted joy color it usually
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
viscerally remembering a couple weeks ago when i said irresponsible people like that shouldnt be able to have kids and my dad dropped 'okay, hitler'
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
its so incredibly fucked that im like emotionally paralyzed at the thought of it, i dont even know what to feel - they shouldnt have a kid, its the most immoral choice they could have made, yet its too late to stop it
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
my sister in law just told me shes pregnant as the afterword to a 'hey i think your brother is having another horrible manic episode and just got fired', and they're the same people who can't even take care of the pitbulls they dumped on my dad and i during the worst period of our entire lives
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
🫂🍻
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
i feel like its probably not normal to be crying over having the money to buy groceries but as i typed this out i started crying and i think that might be the rawest emotion ive felt this month
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
i got to get all the stuff needed for overnight oats except protein powder (im too picky to get random off-shelf protein powder), i got lots of fruits and nuts, and we stopped by a country market to get some quality lunch meat and smoked cheeses, i could live off this for a month or two
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
buying groceries is really emotional, i feel this strong cocktail of relief, creative excitement, thoughtfulness and hunger when i get to just buy what i want and need instead of budgeting off of having to survive, i woke up early today to get groceries and it feels great
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
lets learn how to not hate ourselves for a moment of repreive together
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
thank you ! one day i will master it
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
thank you for this, its not something i can naturally feel anymore but i agree in theory and hope to one day believe it with all my heart
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
i think i have to learn how to forgive myself for having days that i dont produce anything or fix anything even though i have the resources to do so, and that feels like a horrible concept to digest
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
having the ability to do what i need to - money and transportation - has led me to feel a strong impulse to push myself, and it makes days where im brainfogged and dazed even worse, like i could be productive if i just pushed the veil a bit harder, if i just took the right gamble on my health
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
🍻🍻🍻
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
the chicken was super juicy and the vegetables got a nice pepperiness to them, it turned out awesome and I have a ton of it even after sending some w my mother to make sure she eats something after her post all-nighter sobering hibernation
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
🍻🍻🍻🍻
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
made a chicken stirfry to go w basmati rice tonight
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
I can totally understand how isolation can lead to madness, even just a day of it once drove me against a wall
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
a few times when left like this too long my mind spun in circles of the idea that some horrible tragedy struck my family or even the world and I would die alone in my trailer, waiting on people who would never return, and now even if the power goes out, I have a battery’s worth of contacting
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
having a new phone and thus the ability to take calls and text and not be totally isolated when it storms has relieved a deep seated sense of unease that was tearing me apart quietly, just a few hours ago I was isolated and alone as hail pounded on the roof and darkness surrounded me
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
i need to get a grip on my caffeine intake before i end up on a news article, i can handle it when calm but when anxious my heart is already bad and combining 400+ mg of caffeine a day with that as of the past week is a really bad idea
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
i need to evaporate into the clouds and float
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
i dont want to eat but i have to eat or else i feel worse, i hate how it feels to eat but i hate the pain more
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
i feel like im in a dream that feels tinged in sickness even though its beautiful, and i dont feel anchored to my body in any meaningful sense right now
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
a month ago i would have been happy just to have food, and i enjoyed buying food, but the past few days i havent even been eating much, i dont feel the desire to eat at all - its mechanical, and i can never finish anything but small snacks last month's me would have fought me for that food
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Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
my dad told me it would be okay to buy something temporary, he and my brother are doing that with cars, and sell one or the other later but I cannot erase the bone deep anxiety at spending more money on a possibility of future resale
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