Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 12/09/2026stormy days stir my writer's heart - the uncaring clouds, the thunder rumbling, my anxiety dancing to its tune, a memory of what it means to live in these hollows to be amidst the rain, to live at the mercy of the weather, fog and storm and death, is part of what makes life so beautiful here 070
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 06/09/2026one thing i hope to explore and understand through writing is this pervasive feeling that i was born of trash and so i cannot ever be more - that the jadedness of my childhood has rendered me incapable of ever being more than another generation of trailer trash, that im not able to be more 190
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 22/07/2026back to my regular fogposting as i begin to ponder the nature of personhood - my writing has been focused on large-scale worldbuiding, but i stagnated there as i must zoom in and find meaning and philosophy to commit to and explore 190
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 07/06/2026I’ve been doing pretty well lately but for some reason my memory is just really bad - I tried starting a journal and it’s been working somewhat but some days I forget to even write much and it feels like I don’t really think much at all hoping to counteract this so i can think and thus write 1100
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 01/06/2026yesterday, hungover, i dreamt - a meaningless dream, yet as if staring at a screen, it crawled with bugs layering it, a separation of existence from the dream itself, something from a deeper layer of my consciousness than the wisps of memory, crawling and gnawing and buzzing 160
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 29/05/2026every time I see ‘writers need to stop doing this’ or ‘this is too overused in fantasy’ it makes me want to write with a bit of anger in my heart - something with swaths of worldbuilding and dynamics those people could never enjoy, yet well written nonetheless 1120
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 28/05/2026recently ive been considering a side project completely opposite of appalachiaslop in terms of fantasy - outrageous high fantasy with sky ships and arch mages and calamities wrought by mortal hand, old gods still awake rather than slumbering, and of course, beautiful typhonine women 090
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 27/05/2026one thing that feels weird to admit as a writer is im very much bound by my senses in thought and so i often can’t find good words for things i perceive as highly defined concepts in my head - its all a mess of pains and lights and sounds and comparisons that i feel like i dumb down to vocalize 270
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/05/2026journaling my emotional state today and matching it to my mess of memories over the past while made me really realize how much of my life is spent in a very empty state - not even totally empty, but with such mildness that only small bits of muted joy color it usually 160
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 22/05/2026my sister in law just told me shes pregnant as the afterword to a 'hey i think your brother is having another horrible manic episode and just got fired', and they're the same people who can't even take care of the pitbulls they dumped on my dad and i during the worst period of our entire lives 2100
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 19/05/2026buying groceries is really emotional, i feel this strong cocktail of relief, creative excitement, thoughtfulness and hunger when i get to just buy what i want and need instead of budgeting off of having to survive, i woke up early today to get groceries and it feels great 1120
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 16/05/2026i think i have to learn how to forgive myself for having days that i dont produce anything or fix anything even though i have the resources to do so, and that feels like a horrible concept to digest 4150
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 16/05/2026having the ability to do what i need to - money and transportation - has led me to feel a strong impulse to push myself, and it makes days where im brainfogged and dazed even worse, like i could be productive if i just pushed the veil a bit harder, if i just took the right gamble on my health 090
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 16/05/2026made a chicken stirfry to go w basmati rice tonight 2130
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 14/05/2026having a new phone and thus the ability to take calls and text and not be totally isolated when it storms has relieved a deep seated sense of unease that was tearing me apart quietly, just a few hours ago I was isolated and alone as hail pounded on the roof and darkness surrounded me 1110
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 10/05/2026i need to get a grip on my caffeine intake before i end up on a news article, i can handle it when calm but when anxious my heart is already bad and combining 400+ mg of caffeine a day with that as of the past week is a really bad idea 070
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 10/05/2026a month ago i would have been happy just to have food, and i enjoyed buying food, but the past few days i havent even been eating much, i dont feel the desire to eat at all - its mechanical, and i can never finish anything but small snacks last month's me would have fought me for that food 180
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 10/05/2026money is truly evil when you grow up poor because you either don’t have it and suffer from that or you get it and are constantly afraid of spending it lest you become poor again 1181
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 07/05/2026its kind of interesting to realize that while i was always a weird and maladjusted child, the trigger for me to develop the issues i have today is a familial tragedy, yet also the mark where i diverged from my family so heavily 1120
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 06/05/2026today i caught myself using the pronoun 'we' without thinking about it when having an episode and im still not sure if it was a grammatical issue, an accident, or some kind of sign of something i was thinking in the moment but didnt process 1140
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 05/05/2026it just hit me like a truck that the reason im struggling with my writing is ive slowly, slowly creeped into 'telling' instead of 'showing' and i felt a nauseating flash of rage at how i never noticed even though ive been working on my style for seventeen years now 1140
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 05/05/2026my card finally arrived in the mail and the sense of security i get from having funds only i can access and which i can access at any time is immense, i feel safe and i can even support the creators i enjoy now and buy things without having to ask for help or transfer funds 1180
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 04/05/2026having the strength to begin confronting the things i shied away from is novel, but also terrifying in its own way - i find myself facing down and even winning against the oppressive environment ive been suffocating in for years, and i find myself asking uncomfortable questions i was afraid to 1100
Reposted by RainDoc Vivi Leandra【 VTC 】- Real-Life Scientist VTuber 🧬🖥️ @docvivileandra.bsky.social · 03/05/2026Oh, by the way, since in my anthropology/worldbuilding threads I've mentioned gender and the gendered division of labor a few times, I should probably do a short thread. To begin with: - Gendered division of labor is historically much weaker than you think - It's not based in strength differences 417256
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 03/05/2026my family keeps wanting to get restaurant food because of the conflux of my brother and sister-in-law (who just always lived like this but can afford it now) and my dad (who just likes spending money) yet im here wanting to eat my oatmeal and homecooked slop as much as i can 1120
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 03/05/2026sometimes it feels like my body's inability to regulate temperature and thus tendency to doom me to shivering cold and numbness is a reflection of my soul's hollowness and warped emotional spectrum, that i dont have enough in my heart to keep myself warm and vital and alive like other people do 280
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 03/05/2026fried sausage slop (sausage, canned chickpeas, bell pepper, spinach) 0120
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 02/05/2026getting to have yogurt and chocolate-covered strawberries when my stomach hurts for once instead of having to settle for old microwaved rice 170
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 02/05/2026good energy drinks make me feel alive in such a completed way - I feel hunger and thirst and my heart beats and I can focus and imagine in such fullness that I feel like a person and not a stray droplet falling into the fog 040
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 02/05/2026they don’t tell you this but if you don’t like your gods, you can just tear them apart with your teeth, nothings stopping you but your chains 180
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 02/05/2026having to make myself lay down and relax for a second because i hit an emotional high so hard my heart palpitations resurgent and i lost my breath, but im going to start cleaning and have lemon yogurt once i recharge a bit 080
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 02/05/2026i got to go to the grocery store today and buy everything i wanted and i feel so amazing, i got fresh mushrooms and spinach and bell peppers and basil paste and garlic herb chicken and everything, guilt-free grocery shopping feels so good i want to cry 5110
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 01/05/2026spending money is incredibly nervewrecking but i have finally achieved my dream of upgrading my pc after seven years of patience with an increasingly-crumbling computer, now i just need to be patient 1120
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 01/05/2026a warm bath, a dozen shots and a bowl of ramen so big i have to hold it with two hands would fix me, i think 170
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 01/05/2026tomorrow i get to buy the good energy drinks i love and get to actually visit the grocery store for the first time in almost a year, very excited - i hope to cook as well, if my migraine tonight fades before i wake up 1120
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 01/05/2026having to tell myself that excess cant cure everything and that i need moderation - that i cant just overeat to feel better, that more caffeine wont solve my fog and pain, that i cant stay up all night or rot in bed all day im at the stage of healing where my spirit feels like a fresh scab 0100
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 30/04/2026ive been trying to sleep earlier to be on the same schedule as my partner, who is on an early shift, but it’s been impossible - ever since i got money, ever since i could eat well, ive been restless and overwhelmed by a need to talk and exist and a sickening hunger no snacks ever help 290
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 30/04/2026one thing i want to be able to portray well is the sense of vital overgrowth in appalachia - the mines poison rivers and the companies tear off the peaks of mountains older than trees, yet in the end, nature overtakes what is stolen, reclaiming it with each rainy spring’s tendril 180
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 29/04/2026I read an article today called 'all my fundees have blue eyes' by coda story's isobell cockerell and i am horrified by how much more deeply evil techbros are than i ever imagined, it is a truly sickening read that highlights who the enemy is and what they disguise as in grim detail 080
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 27/04/2026still trying to find a sense of joy that isn’t a manic rush, id like to be able to sit down and write and feel thoughtful but ive mostly been in various states of distracted, dejected and depressed even though i don’t have to worry about food or drink now 170
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/04/2026check in hand, roll of fifty trash bags, just got to clean my fridge partway 070
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/04/2026day one of having no financial anxiety and plenty of food in the house, it feels weird - my anxiety is still there, but it doesnt know *what* to be anxious about, and so it feels like theres a dissonance between my state of mind and what my anxiety thinks i should have 3150
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/04/2026a horse had a colt and my dads doing a vigil for it because there’s a mountain lion in the area and we had a rare bonding moment about how itd be a tragedy if he died right before having money, but at least we could afford the funeral 140
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/04/2026I cannot wait to get drunk and just let myself collapse and be a dumb twenty something for once instead of having to keep it all together 1130
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/04/2026it’s honestly fascinating how much pain the human body can handle, every time i get a migraine this bad it feels like i shouldn’t be able to continue on with my life - sometimes it crosses into the crippling territory but there’s a level before that where i can continue life in mind numbing agony 150
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/04/2026my brother and sister-in-law hit me with the 'what do you think of having a niece or nephew soon?' earlier today and all i could muster up was 'if it gets you to take better care of your dogs' and i could see the instant fumble reaction as i chose a bit too much honesty 1120
Rain @raininginmountains.bsky.social · 24/04/2026i just spent ten hours on the road with a brutal migraine but we deposited the check and theres a card coming in the mail and my dads going to get cash tomorrow once it clears, i should be able to get anything i want soon and i got a few drinks and krispy kreme in the meantime 070