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Rae 🦋

@raehrpalmer.bsky.social
230 followers 188 following 295 posts

Plant lover, cat mother and poet in Berlin. Just trying to figure it out, one trauma-dump poem at a time. 🪴

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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
#hunger that taunting feeling hunger for life hunger for death hunger for food that I cannot allow to pass my lips hunger for forgetting hunger for remembering hunger to feel that sharp sting on my skin the juxtaposition of human hunger the taste for life both sweet and bitter #vss365
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Reposted by Rae 🦋
Steve Westby @stevewestby.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Stormy you think stormy and maybe you think thunder and downpour or intense winds but mine was the drizzle the silent storm of endless sorrow that you see through the window and think ah yes again #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Begin as you mean to go on that's how the saying goes Fuck that. Begin in any and every way that you can. This journey is the hardest you will ever #embark on. Shun perfection give it your best let it be messy. None of it matters if you don't let yourself begin. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
We always danced to the same beat but I can feel myself changing rhythm. Defeated staring at the road before us, stretching out double what we left behind. I imagine the future us, side by side, looking back on every #storm we have withstood, knowing this is not the one to send us overboard #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Although the #cord that connects me to you remains unbroken, it is not beautiful. It is a knotted, ugly sight. I have tried to break away by every means: scissors, shears, saws, even canines. Solid stands this thin but durable thing. I wonder how it would feel snug around my tiny neck. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
They said you were made to protect me; that wasn't true You held the #matchbox, but I lit the fuse. The explosion that followed took all of me, yet only pieces of you. Yes, years have flowed since last we met. but I know what you did, father, and one day I'll meet you in Hell. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
#creation observation listen to understand to learn to grow you can create your own reality only if you know how to let go. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
PSA to myself and everyone else trying to grow their frail, fine hair out: go book that haircut you're putting off. You will be very upset when you have to cut off way more than you wanted to because it's damaged. xo
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Reposted by Rae 🦋
𓂀 𓆗Jay𓆗𓂀 @kitchenraptorj.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
On the #coast I'm eagerly awaiting A Boudicca horizon Ten toes down With Rome in flames Let the flogged The chattel Devour the faces of men Who forsake The daughters They fear & spit on I want descendents To uncover a layer Of scorched earth That screams: We had enough & we hunted #vss365
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Gréachán @greachan.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
A samara does not grieve to leave the bough; it falls because its falling is the plan. Some soft design already tells it how to break, to root, to grow where it began. So maybe nothing truly falls apart; the tree still stands through all that will depart. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
#WIPSnips #rush
We’re just around the corner from my favourite part–we get to run up over the Adelphi Footbridge where there’s a great view of the morning sky–when he lets out a little cry and slows, his eyes squinting in discomfort. I stop and turn to face him, my face questioning as I try to pretend I’m not annoyed he’s ruined my building momentum, when I realise how hurt he looks and rush towards him. He’s rubbing his thigh and his lower calf. “You alright?” I call out as I approach. He nods, rubs a few more circles on his calf, and starts again, much slower this time. “Just an old football injury, C. Don’t worry about it.” He throws a grin back at me as I jog to catch up, but I don’t find it very convincing.
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
#vss365 #depart
today, everything feels
impossible
the load is far too heavy
you tell me to share it with you
but neither of us can see
how that's supposed to look
we can’t depart from this
jumbled up duet
cornered and ensnared
together, but apart
I can't help but find that
devastating
because you're my mother
and if you can't find the answers
then how can I believe
that I ever could?
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
#WIPSnips #coach
“It gets easier,” he murmurs comfortingly. “Each time you run, I mean. It gets a little better.” I open my eyes and look up at him, my hand shading me from the sun. 
“What do you mean, every time I run? Are you seriously going to make me do this again? 
What are you, my unwanted personal coach?” He shrugs. “I’m not going to make you do anything, Cleo. I’m not here to force you to live like me.” He pauses, licking his lips. “But I do think you should try it with me for a while, maybe a month or so, before you form an opinion.”
 “A month seems like a really long time to decide you hate something,” I shoot back. Casey sighs. “Look, Cleo, I get it. I hated my first run, too.” He continues, running his hand through his hair. “But the thing is, nothing worth doing comes easy. It’s like any hobby. You suck at the start, but the more you persevere, the better you get.”
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I was just a child; that's the unfortunate truth. I made it through, but at what cost? I paid the price unwillingly. They say that I vanquished my past as though it is a compliment, but it wasn't mine to #conquer. My only goal, to be a child, was one I never mastered. #vss365
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Gréachán @greachan.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
So conquer grief the way old trees conquer years: by growing rings around those tears. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
#WIPSnips #phase
The weirdest thing about living with Casey is the unjust familiarity. We’re siblings, of course, but with only faded, incomplete memories of being kids together. We know hardly anything about each other - I’ve only just learned that his favourite colour is green, and he’s one of those weirdos who doesn’t like mushrooms. I can’t imagine him having an awkward phase. I don’t know who his childhood best friend was, and he doesn’t know about James and how terribly that ended. Despite this, we have to live as if we know each other, as if we’ve spent our lives together. And sometimes it feels like we have. That’s the part that feels most strange, the times when we seem to flow together, like when we speak at the same time or laugh at the same jokes.
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
inhale exhale take it slow close your eyes feel alive allow your serenity to grow learn to be #patient learn to be grateful learn how to breathe to remain unhurried in this progressive world is the most rebellious thing you can be #vss365
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G @gwill2k.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
volatile cocktail — stir crazy, unabashed; your mad suitor calls for you, uninhibited, he aims to drink you last. volatile cocktail — your umbrella lifts against his tip of lips, magenta ice rosary, blesses your heart while he sips. #pennedreveries🍹#cocktail #vss365 #unabashed #poetry
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
oh, just to exist as an #unabashed being is a wonderful thought; one I try to imagine often oh, but to exist as an unabashed woman unashamed, unapologetic is an even sweeter thought oh, to live the life I want without embarrassment or fear? that is my aspiration the thing that I hold dear #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I find it so absolutely #stunning that despite the belittling bestowed on us for the sin of being born female that we still wake up each day and choose to fight to love and to live smiling in a world so intent on diminishing every part of our very being #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
#carrion #vss365
I wish to be a wild animal
with scales, or wings, or fur
who soars, or swims, or scuttles
down low and doesn’t 
obsess about their worth.

To feast upon the carrion
(a price I'll gladly pay)
will remind me that this all
will end, that the only 
certain thing is decay.

But animals have tiny brains, 
not made for the complexities 
of strife. Death is not a philosophy
for them; just a consequence of life.
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
on days like today I think I would very happily #defenestrate myself but you're not supposed to admit a fact like that in the modern world so I will smile politely finish the washing up and keep myself far from the window instead #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
#fiend #vss365
time terrifies me. thoughts of days spent
breathing
into your neck, turning to days
languishing
beside each other, thoughts of you no longer
enchanting
instead, now you exist, the fiend in my story, a
daunting
waste of years spent grasping at wrists
perspiring
as one, eyes locked together, closed,
whining
but in unison, in pleasure, in sync, now
estranging
I guess that’s how the story goes
continuing
on without you, breathing alone
learning
how to make myself grow
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Reposted by Rae 🦋
Jan Karlsson @jangoeswriting.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Every moment, Every breath, Every sunrise, Every sunset, Every bird in the sky, Every cat, Every picture on the wall, Every sigh, Every book, Every movie, Every embrace through love, Every heart, Every song, Every dog, Every cloud, Every dream, Every passing thought, A #gift. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
it all comes apart your #gift turning to dust in my fingers I can feel myself unraveling you say you are the strong one, but my womanhood has forced me to withstand horrors that you could never understand. ironic, isn't it? the patriarchy comes for us all eventually. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
I try to regard this second life I have been given as a #gift, but sometimes it feels like a death sentence. Wracked with fear, I agonise over every decision. I know this is not the life he wanted for me, yet it is the life I am stuck with: finding myself the biggest disappointment of all. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
#forbidden #vss365
I am often at war with myself
forbidden thoughts crowd
at the front of my mind
the fear of losing control

looming imminently

I need to forgive myself
for these things I have
done, and the mistakes
I have made, but it feels

impossible

So I will hide myself away
instead, and pray that

one day

you will find me.
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
I still find myself very nervous to tell people I'm writing a book. But I've officially hit over 5.6k words, so maybe I can admit that it's happening now?
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
#horror #vss365
And what becomes of the adult
moulded by every horror
they withstood in childhood?

How can they possibly learn
to hold themselves close, find
comfort in their thoughts,

and stand themselves up,
tall and proud? How do they
ever truly find a way out?

I wish there was an easy answer,
but all I can tell you is this:
Every day, every minute, every

second, they are searching
earnestly, for a glimmer of hope
and the promise of a fairer day.
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
I don't mean to #tether myself to everything awful for me I simply cannot help it. I am called to the chaos, a fatal attraction to which I hold no power against although, honestly, if given the choice, I would choose you again and again and again #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
once you held me, soft and close, murmured promises of protection, your own oath you swore you say this wasn't your #intent but that doesn't stop me bleeding here, lying on the floor and though my body aches for you so longingly, I don't think we can call this love anymore. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
#betrayal #vss365
I have treated my body treacherously
for many long, arduous years
the betrayal is forever marked,
written all over my skin in jagged
judgemental lettering. It's not that
I don't love my body. I've loved it
more than most. It was just much
easier to take my anger out
on myself over those who
had truly wronged me.
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
#vss365 #feral
I know I am a woman,
grown, my destiny held
gently in my own palm.
Yet, inside, the #feral
child hides. Clambering
up my body's walls, she
peers out through my
eyes. She longs to take
hold of my limbs, wishes
to take control; her rage
is deep and vast. And 
though I hold her back 
for now,
I don't know if I can last.
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Reposted by Rae 🦋
DaniGraceWrites @danigracewrites.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Survivalist Swallowed whole by concussive air I beg to breathe no more, But they say you must stay Enduring the whips & scorns of time Because suffering is beautiful— a necessary part of the life you abhor And escape is unfair to all others Who chain you to the sticking point. #poetry #Skywriting
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Alongside being a poet I'm also a proudly born and raised woo-woo girlie ✨
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
I have these days where I feel like a #phantom when the sadness decides to take over and my body lies hollowed out invaded days where the light hides itself from my eyes and I lie in bed still. silent. using all of my energy just to keep myself breathing #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
He's home 😭🥰
A black cat being held by his Human™️, staring at the camera with wide eyes and wearing a green bandage on his leg
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
If I tried to write a #letter detailing all the things you've given me the world would run out of stationary before I was even halfway done #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
We had to rush one of my cats to the emergency vets yesterday because he ate a daffodil leaf. I think he's going to be absolutely fine, but they had to keep him overnight and he's still there. The wait for any news and to see when we can pick him up is awful.
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
#water #vss365
Spend time with yourself in nature.

Let the warm water lap gently at your feet
washing away everything that no longer serves you.

Let yourself be steered by the wind 
as it whips energetically around your hair
taking with it all that wants to harm you.

Let the trees tower high up above your head
and serve as a reminder that there is so much
more than this short life, and let that abolish
your need to make yourself small.

Yes, spend some time in nature,
but make sure you do it alone
because it is only when we sit 
face to face with ourselves
that we have any chance to grow.
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
Healing fatigue is real, and something everyone will experience during their journey. Let's talk about it: surl.li/iiuoos #substack #healing #trauma
Three wooden mannequins sitting on top of a wooden block, their heads down, looking exhausted. Text reads: the exhaustion of healing.
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
the marks you left stain like #ink on my skin fuck, sometimes I wish I'd never let you in. #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
And we're back! After a long hiatus, I'm returning to #Substack with an essay about writing, the effects of cringe, and trying to be true to yourself. Read the latest post here: bit.ly/4d5fwa6
Close-up picture of yellow spring flowers. Text reads: The Calm After The Storm
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
#vss365 #exalt
Mistakes? Of those, I have many;
regret and I laugh like old lovers.
I am not perfect, of this I am sure
burdensome flaws pursue me.

But when the red closes in,
when faults are all I can see,
I hold myself together 
with the true memory of me.

And I will exalt my past self
for the rest of my life, ‘cause
with the things she’s overcome
I’m astonished we’re alive.
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Reposted by Rae 🦋
Sanya @sanjar.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
first she'd #exalt the daybreak then steady the pen before facing the page’s smooth bark & entering its bare plain drawn repelled desiring withdrawing at last inscribing herself on the blank surface hoping that through words erasures surges a meaning might answer back #vss365 #poetry
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
it took a lifetime to #conduct my defences against you it took longer still to keep them standing solid, strong it took you two days to bring them crashing down how long to build them again I do not know I would let you tear them down a thousand times more to keep me away from sorrow #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
a blazing throne towers in the sky atop it you sit looking down everything lies in your command not even the planets are free from your touch; their #revolve their whole path around you. Yet sadness takes hold as you sit there, alone dreaming someone comes close enough to hold you #vss365
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Rae 🦋 @raehrpalmer.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
surrender to the joy of wonder allow curiosity to #fascinate you and everyone around you curl into the dirt creeping under your fingernails and take a breath in tandem with the trees know you're enough just as you are 'cause how could you not be? you're dust from a star. #vss365
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G @gwill2k.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
may the music greet u may the words say hello may u be counseled by truths u have known may the music #fascinate u may the words seep into ur bones may u be chaperoned when out on ur own may the music transport u may the words become ur own may u be consoled when achingly alone #vss365 #poetry
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