radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 14/03/2025Godzilla squaring up to fight Ghidora with a bunch of fighter jets is wild, imagine showing up to a boxing match with a swarm of bees 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 17/01/2025You ever find a logical loophole in a nightmare and then your brain is like “mmm, you’re not getting away that easy” and throws even crazier shit at you 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 28/12/2024“WHO DID THIS” I scream at the heavens, brandishing my empty Brita filter, knowing damn well it was me 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 04/12/2024Just got a white elephant from a White Elephant, I’m never gonna financially recover from this 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 30/11/2024Every morning I stare at my neighbor’s garden gnome with a hammer in my hand, daring him to blink 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 28/11/2024You ever wish your ears could shrivel up when it gets cold? I do constantly 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 27/11/2024Every round of Quiplash I answer the prompt with “A Big Turd” I win every game My friends beg me to stop “A Big Turd”, I answer 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 26/11/2024Tales of Horror: the guy in the bathroom stall next to yours is Really Loud 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 25/11/2024History Fact: houses began being built pointy at the top in the Middle Ages to protect against giants 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 22/11/2024My HOA has informed me that rearranging my Halloween skeleton into a turkey doesn’t count 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 20/11/2024“No one understands the level I’m operating on” I say, rolling the Play-Doh into a snake 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 19/11/2024In a just world glasses would have eyelids, but no, we are condemned to wipe them manually. I think of this often 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 18/11/2024Me, sitting down to write the next great American novel: the The 400lb sin-gorilla on my back: your dishes aren’t done 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 25/12/2023Dr Seuss: so there’s these little elf people named Whos living in a magic winter village Me: Understandable Dr Seuss: and then there’s this big green hairy troll who hates them Me: got it Dr Seuss: and he has a dog named Max Me: hold up 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 21/12/2023Do you think the King Kong species lives as long as the other Titans? Or do you think in a thousand years they're all gonna meet up for drinks and be like "man, remember that one monkey that could kick godzilla's ass? That was crazy” 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 19/11/2023It’s really metal how much medicine is just “take this poison you’ll survive but the other guy won’t” 000
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 16/10/2023So Chocula finally got him in the end. 010
radmatternomad.bsky.social @radmatternomad.bsky.social · 13/10/2023I hope the last cook on the Titanic took the rubber bands off the lobsters before he left. 040
